


Faith and Misfortune

by kagurasbuns



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Gradual Relationship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, beta ronpa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-08-20 10:32:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8245814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagurasbuns/pseuds/kagurasbuns
Summary: People say that seeing is believing. If you saw something out of the ordinary, would you believe in it? Or would you deny it's ever happening? [Re-upload. See notes for information. CHAPTER 15 NOW UPDATED.]





	1. Fated Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. It's been quite a while, but I'm finally back. Nearly a year ago, I decided to orphan Faith and Misfortune due to its tremendous lack of inactivity, but I've only recently found it in myself to start writing again. With the re-upload of the series, I will be taking some measures to slightly re-write some of the chapters, due to several grammatical concerns. 
> 
> With the departure of the co-author (now known as MooksMookin) in the series, I may have to adjust the direction the fic will be going. My personal characterization of Beta Hinata and Beta Komaeda has also drastically changed over the past months, but I will do my utmost best to keep their personalities true to this fic's version. However, I am not taking full credit for the content of this fic, as it couldn't have possibly gone this far without Mooks's help. So, just a disclaimer, I didn't write everything on my own. She gave me permission to keep working on this even after she dropped out of the fic, so all's well and good. 
> 
> With that being said, I have written everything by myself starting at Chapter 16. Previous chapters were collaborative works. 
> 
> If you would like to see the original, "discontinued" version of the fic, here is the link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1234903?view_full_work=true
> 
> I will be uploading the rest of the chapters in a while. This may take some time. If you have read the original version of the fic, you may know that Chapter 15 is merely a "note to the readers." I would like to note that I will no longer include that in this version; rather, I will replace it with actual content of the story, which I have already written out.
> 
> Again, I apologize for the unbelievably long wait. But thank you once again to those who have always supported us. Your feedback is heartwarming and has motivated us to no end.
> 
> For those who are unaware, for reference, the Beta Hinata in this fic is the 5th one, while Beta Komaeda is the 3rd one (the small one).

Hope's Peak Private Academy was Hinata Hajime's home. He lived in the dormitories that were provided for the students who wanted to be more independent for themselves. The reason for his living there was that he wanted to get away from his overbearing parents.

Each dorm had two students assigned to it. And, of course, there were both girls dorms and boys dorms. The dorms were equipped with a single bathroom, and a bed on either side. On each side of the beds was a night stand, and next to that, a single desk to share. It was a much better improvement from Hinata's old dingy home, to say the least.

Hinata was roomed with a guy named Souda Kazuichi. To say they got along well was an understatement; they were inseparable. They were best friends to the maximum level. While Souda was a good guy, he was also a bit of a creep. Well, more like he didn't pick up on social cues all that easily. It was pretty hard to explain the anomaly that was Souda.

Souda had the hots for this girl named Sonia Nevermind. She was the princess type, but hated to be pampered. She was also super popular, and ignored Souda on a day-to-day basis. Instead, she went for this weirdo named Gundam. What she saw in him, nobody else but they themselves knew. Hinata found the guy strange, but fun. He could tell he was a good guy deep down. And though Hinata would never even dare to tell this to Souda, he thought the two were a good match for each other.

As mentioned before, Sonia was popular - with both the guys and the girls. One friend she had was a girl named Enoshima Junko; another anomaly in a school full of weird kids. She was fashionable, and also sweet, but could also snap at you at any given moment. Sometimes she was quiet and didn't want to deal with anyone, other times she was a social butterfly. Hinata had never talked to her personally. In all honesty, he never wanted to deal with her. Junko was overbearing, and a bit intimidating. She could also be really scary when at the wrong end of the argument.

Yeah, Hope's Peak Private Academy was full of weirdos. Strange, but good weirdos. Except for one small, he daresay, anomaly.

In Hope's Peak, there was a rumor that was whispered among the students. A rumor about one particular student. If you get close to him, countless amounts of misfortunes will befall you. Teachers have been fired, students have gotten into accidents, a few of them proven fatal. Some say even his parents were a victim of his so-called curse. They call him the angel of death, the shinigami of Hope's Peak Private Academy.

However, Hinata refused to believe in those kinds of things. Rumors were just truths blown out of proportion. Exaggerated to the point where they're lies in of themselves. Insults and stories to deceive those gullible enough to believe in that stuff. It was, all in all, a bunch of bullshit.

Even as the teacher called for him after class ended, he didn't believe. Even as he responded enthusiastically, he didn't believe. Even as the teacher gave him a small stack of papers, telling him to go to the infirmary and delivering it to the only missing student in class, he didn't believe. Even as he realized that it was the anomaly of anomalies that the class was missing, he didn't believe. Even as he walked down the halls, humming softly to himself, he didn't believe. Even as he neared the infirmary door, knocking on it, he didn't believe. And when he opened the door... he told himself that he didn't believe.

Komaeda Nagito stood by the windowsill, looking over the track field where a bunch of kids had gym class. It was a windy day, and the windows were open, making the white curtains flutter around him. For a second, Hinata thought they looked like angel wings. He was completely mesmerized. But that broke as soon as Komaeda turned to him, expressionless. Silently, he shut the window, made his way back to the bed and climbed onto it.

If he hadn't looked at Hinata, he would've thought that Komaeda didn't notice him at all.

“Is there something you need from the nurse? If you hadn't noticed, she's out,” Komaeda stated, picking up a book that was lying on the bed before.

“Oh, no. The teacher wanted me to give you these to work on.” Hinata flapped the small stack of papers in his hand. He walked over, dropping them on the bottom of the bed. Komaeda muttered a thanks, and returned to reading, not even glancing at the papers. "So, I heard you got a pretty high fever. Well, according to the teacher,” Hinata said, conversational.

Komaeda scoffed, glaring at Hinata for a split second. "Of course I do." The tone he assumed was unalike his previous one just seconds ago. Instead of being quiet and shy, he was more brash. "Why else would I be lying here in the infirmary? Quite smart of you, Mr. Ace Student."

Hinata grimaced. “My name isn't Mr. Ace Student,” he grumbled, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

“I guess so. Idiot seems to be a better term for you,” Komaeda responded, eyes never wandering from his book.

If you insist, Mr. Shinigami, Hinata refrained from saying. “So... what's that you're reading?” he asked instead.

Komaeda shot him a look. “Ghost Hunt. It's a fictional horror novel. I don't think that you of all people would be interested,” he responded curtly.

“You read horror novels?" Hinata's eyes widened in awe. "Are you kidding me? I'm a huge enthusiast about scary stuff!"

A brow raised in curiosity at his abruptness. "A huge enthusiast, huh…?" His fingers flicked through the pages while his eyes darted from word to word, then murmured something in response. "How amusing."

Perturbed by the terse reply, Hinata tried to resume the conversation. A forced laugh: "I guess I know where you're coming from. I mean, nowadays, people seem to take it as a disgrace of genre… But I'm not one of those people."

"I'm quite relieved you understand," he said, a little louder, closing the book shut. "It's not the film or novel's fault they couldn't handle the frightening portions. Is that all they see in horror? They hadn't been listening, then. If you aren't so witless to notice, horror mostly derives from tragedies. That's why Hanako had been haunting school bathrooms ever since she died. Because nobody wanted to play with the poor little girl." Komaeda heaved a sigh. "It only goes to show that the ghosts that now haunt the living are still in search of company. They're misguided. Are people so obtuse and afraid to understand how they feel? They may be ghosts, but nothing will confiscate the fact that they were once human. People who felt sorrow and loneliness and misery. Do you see where I’m coming from?”

"I know how you feel," he tried to say, fazed by his impulsive speech. It was startling to hear such words from him, who happened to be so timid and taciturn just minutes ago. "I think it's why few people seem to hang out with me. They either think what I like is boring or lame."

That comment was nothing compared to what Komaeda had gone through, of course. He knew far too well how people took him; the mere mention of his name elicited scowls and scorns. He wasn’t afraid of the rumors, let alone consider them the truth. They were all but whispers and words coming from the naive and callow. He never liked injustice. Hinata was sure that there was more to Komaeda that he’d need to know.

As soon as he spoke, though, Komaeda had nestled back into the covers and went back to reading again. A tranquil breeze snuffed out the last of his efforts to extend their conversation, but he let the silence be. That was perhaps enough foreword from him, Hinata supposed. There was always the next day to look up to; because from this day on, he'd become the boy who fetched his homework.


	2. Invitation

Days passed by, each accompanied with a visit to the infirmary. After their first visit, conversation was a simple greeting, a bit of small talk, then good bye. Not that Hinata didn't try, it just seemed that the small student refused to speak past a few words. But, with each visit, it seemed like Komaeda was talking more and more. He seemed to be warming up to Hinata, to say the least.

A week passed. Hinata made his way to the infirmary again. Another packet of work was in his hand, labeled for Komaeda Nagito. As always he knocked, but entered without waiting for an answer. Komaeda was looking out of the open window at the gym class below, as he usually was when Hinata entered. Once he knew Hinata had come in, he closed the window and crawled into the infirmary bed.

“Package for Komaeda Nagito!” Hinata said cheerfully, waving the papers. Komaeda didn't spare him a glance, instead just picking up his book and opening to the page he left off. “Reading horror again?” Hinata asked, placing the work at the foot of the infirmary bed.

“Your powers of observation continue to amaze me,” Komaeda responded, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Hinata just smiled, walking past the bed and leaning against the windowsill. “And? What's the title?”

“Another. It's a more popular one, and has it's own TV adaption.” Komaeda flipped a page, eyes darting across the words as he read.

“Oh, I've read that one!” Hinata exclaimed. “The ending was completely unexpected! I was surprised.”

A ghost of a smile leapt onto Komaeda's face. "I quite agree with you on that.” A few seconds of silence passed, before, surprisingly, Komaeda spoke up. “So, idiot, is there any other horror stories you've read _besides_ the ones I've mentioned?”

Hinata took a second to process that. Komaeda actually asked him a question. That made him feel... kinda giddy. Snapping out of his two second daze, he nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! I've read The Summer of Ubume, Edge, Revenge, and Shiki!” He puffed out his chest, grinning.

Komaeda rolled his eyes. “Shiki isn't in the horror genre. It's thriller. There is a big difference,” he chided.

“O-oh... Right... I knew that,” Hinata mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Komaeda let out a puff of breathe that sounded like a laugh. He went back to reading, shaking his head slightly. “Idiot, not even knowing something as simple as that...” he hummed.

“My name isn't idiot, you know,” Hinata grumbled. Komaeda glanced at him, an eyebrow raised.

“How would I know? You never introduced yourself to me,” he pointed out.

“Well! My name is Hinata. Hinata Hajime. It's a pleasure to meet you, Komaeda Nagito,” Hinata said, bowing mockingly.

A suppressed snort. Closing the book in his hands, he looked at Hinata and squinted. "Next time, introduce yourself first, yes?"

“Next time?” Hinata repeated. “Then, I'll be meeting you again soon?” Komaeda turned his head, refusing to meet Hinata's gaze. He was quiet for a minute, then another. Hinata wasn't sure if he was going to respond at all. He straightened himself up, ready to walk out, before Komaeda stopped him.

“If...” Komaeda began, twisting the sheets in his hands. “I-if you want to, I mean.... I guess you could... come over to my place and... w-watch a horror movie with me.”

Hinata was surprised, to say the least. He never expected Komaeda to do something like invite him over. They've barely had any decent conversations. The way Komaeda was fidgeting was kind of... adorable. And when those gray eyes glanced at him uncertainly, he found himself nodding.

"Sure! I think that'd be great," Hinata finally answered. Komaeda's lips lifted up the tiniest bit as he ripped off a piece of the worksheet Hinata brought him. Grabbing a pen from the stand next to the bed, he scribbled down something, and handed it to the taller student.

"Here's my address, then. It isn't too far from the school," Komaeda stated. Hinata took the slip of paper and put it in his pocket for safe keeping. “Come over at six pm, when the sun starts to set. Otherwise, the glare of the sun will affect the level of enjoyment for it,” Komaeda explained. Hinata nodded, thinking that Komaeda was trying to keep some sort of excitement in. It was cute.

As they parted ways, questions began to fill Hinata's mind. Had Komaeda ever had someone over before? Had he ever even had someone to call a friend? Did he live alone? What kind of house did he have? Did he have any siblings? Hinata found himself wanting to know more about the mysterious Komaeda. And with that feeling came a mix of excitement, and dread.

...

Come six pm, Hinata did not find himself in front of a house. Rather than that, he found himself in front of what would be called a _mansion_. The sky was reddening behind it, giving it a creepy atmosphere. The roof was a bit tattered, black shingles falling off. Most of the windows were boarded up on the second floor. All the third floor windows were boarded up too. However, the attic window was not boarded up. The big twin oak doors seem to loom at him, like they were going to swallow him up. It didn't help that surrounding the mansion on every side but the front was a thick forest.

Hinata swallowed heavily. This might be harder than he anticipated. Hesitantly, he raised his free hand and pushed the doorbell. Almost immediately the large doors opened, as if his classmate had been right in front of the door, waiting for this exact moment. Hinata jumped back a bit as Komaeda stared up at him, that usual glare plastered on his face. Hinata almost let out a sigh of relief; he had thought he had gotten the wrong place for a minute there.

They stood there, a bit awkwardly. “Well? Are you going to come in or what, idiot?” Komaeda asked in a bored tone. Trying not to trip over himself, Hinata thanked him as he entered.

The house looked bigger on the inside than it did on the outside. The little light filtering in from windows gave it a creepy feeling, like they were looming shadows instead of light. The flooring was made out of a sturdy dark brown wood; in the places with no light, it seemed almost black. In front of them was a grand staircase that led up to the second floor, fitted with a dark red carpet. Above them was a beautiful chandelier that sparkled in the little sunlight there was. It was a beautiful house, but it gave off a lonely feeling. No lights were on, and there were no noises indicating that there were other people here. It seemed to have little to no furniture, as well.

The front door shut with a loud bang, snapping Hinata out of his thoughts. “You have a nice house!” he said quickly, turning around to face Komaeda. “It seems a bit quiet, though. Is there anyone else here?”

Komaeda frowned. “My parents are out. They took a... vacation of sorts,” he answered and began to walk towards a door to the left of the giant stairway. Hinata hurried after him. “I don't have any of those _maids_ or _servants_ that people usually associate with this kind of estate, either. Nor do I have any siblings.”

“So... you live here all by yourself, then?” Hinata asked. Komaeda glanced at him from out of the corner of his eye.

“Obviously, since I stated no one else is here. Are you so stupid that I have you spell everything out for you?” he muttered.

Hinata brushed off the insult with a wave of his hand. “Doesn't it get lonely here? This place is like a mansion.”

“That's because it _is_ a mansion, idiot. And no, I'm content living here by myself,” Komaeda grumbled, opening the door and going inside. Hinata followed, eyes widening as he entered.

There was a large TV, hanging on the wall on the far side of the room. Below it were various video game consoles, a DVD player, and even a VCR player. On either side of the TV were two large speakers. Various wall shelves were to the left, filled with horror movies, video games, books, CDs, etc. A large red couch, big enough to seat at least six people, was situated in the middle of the room, facing the TV.

“What? Are you waiting for the grass to grow?” Komaeda's voice brought Hinata back to reality. He was in front of the TV, kneeling down to the DVD player with a case in hand.

“Sorry,” Hinata quickly apologized. He made his way over to the couch, plopping down in the middle. “It's just... impressive is all. I've never seen an entertainment room this big before.”

Komaeda scoffed, putting in the DVD. He pressed a button on the side of the TV, it blinking on almost immediately. “It's not impressive at all. It's pretty plain to me. You don't visit other people much, do you?”

Hinata frowned. _Obviously you don't either, since you think_ this _is normal,_ he kept to himself. “So, what movie did you pick?” he asked as Komaeda sat on the right end of the couch.

“Don't worry, I picked the least scary movie I had.”

“And? What's the title?”

“ _Chakushin Ari_. Made in 2003. America got a remake of it in 2008, but it was horrible. Not even worth wasting my time on.” The Menu loaded up. Komaeda picked up the remote and pressed play. The sun was almost all the way down, and the lights were turned off, creating the perfect creepy atmosphere. Hinata tensed as the screen faded to black, then the beginning credits started playing.

“Wasn't _Chakushin Ari_ one of the top ten horror movies in Japan?” Hinata asked, voice wavering. He glanced over at Komaeda, who looked like he was wearing the smallest of smirks.

“Just because it was in the top ten doesn't mean it was the scariest,” Komaeda remarked. They didn't exchange any words after that. The movie went on in silence, Komaeda looking bored while Hinata was shaking in his skin. He jumped at every little slam, was on edge every time the camera peeked around.

When Yoko died, Hinata looked like he was on the verge of tears. Komaeda glanced at him, wondering why on earth this guy was so into horror when he got scared just by this level? Was he a masochist or something? By the time Kenji died, Hinata was curled into a ball. Komaeda observed him, amused by his reactions. Hinata's eyes were glued to the screen, and he was leaning forward. Though he was trembling, he looked as if he didn't mind it.

All of a sudden, he let out a yell of anger, surprising Komaeda. “What the hell are they doing with her? That's obviously a hoax! There's no way they could keep her alive!” Hinata ranted, glaring at the screen. Komaeda looked at the screen. Those reporters and journalists were taking away Natsumi to the studio, where they would later hold her death live.

When her gruesome death came, Hinata was mortified. “H-h-h-her head j-just popped off! Th-that isn't normal!” he gasped.

“There's no way that could've happened, anyway,” Komaeda complained. “She would've died way before then. No one's head could spin around like that and still have them live long enough for their head to pop off.”

Hinata drew in a shaky breath. “I-I guess...” he muttered, his attention still on the TV. Suddenly, that cell tone began to rang. Hinata paled even further, if possible. “No way... Not Yumi! Not Yumi! You can't kill Yumi!” he yelped. “No, no, no! At least let _her_ live!”

The movie continued on, Yumi and Yamashita doing their detective work. Hinata grew more and more worried for the two, which was amusing to Komaeda. “What's she doing? Is she going in there?” Yumi was at the old hospital, prepared to check it out on her own. Yamashita's cell phone went off, and Hinata gasped. “Is he in there? Is he really in there? There's not way he's in there.” Yumi entered the hospital, and kept exploring. Every time Yamashita's cell went off, Hinata jumped. “There's no way. This is a trap. It's gotta be a trap.” She discovered the source of the ringing. “I _knew it_! I _knew_ it was a trap! Get out of there, Yumi!”

Komaeda wanted to laugh so badly. Hinata was completely freaking out, yelling at the TV as if Yumi could hear him. “Get _out of there_! _What are you doing_?! Don't hug her, she's going to kill you! Wait- what? What's happening? I don't understand.”

As the movie came to an end, Hinata just stared as the credits rolled, confused. “Did... did he live? Is she okay? What happened?” Komaeda stood up, walking over to the light switch and flicking it on. Hinata rubbed his eyes, leaning back on the couch. “Wow.... What time is it?”

“Almost eight,” Komaeda answered, turning off the TV.

“Eight? Oh crap, I gotta go, then!” Hinata fretted, jumping off of the couch. He rushed out to the front door, Komaeda following behind.

“Curfew?” Komaeda wondered, watching Hinata put back on his jacket, which he had taken off during the movie.

“Nah, the campus gates close at nine,” Hinata said, turning to face Komaeda. He paused, putting on a smile. “I had a lot of fun. We should do this again sometime.”

Komaeda flushed, turning his head away. “Just hurry up and go, idiot,” he grumbled.

“I told you, my name isn't idiot. It's Hinata Hajime,” Hinata sighed. Komaeda glared at him, moving past him and throwing open the front door. He grabbed Hinata's wrist and threw him out.

“Then just hurry up and leave, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda yelled, slamming the door.

Hinata blinked, staring at the large twin oak doors. “Hinata....-kun?” he whispered. He replayed the words in his head, his face growing hot. _Then just hurry up and leave, Hinata-kun!_ Hinata brought a hand up to cover his face, grinning like an idiot. _Hinata-kun..._

He found himself liking the way Komaeda said his name. Probably more than he should.


	3. Disease

Ever since Hinata began to visit Komaeda in the infirmary, he starts the day feeling like something is off. When he wakes up in his dorm room, though Souda's still snoring away in the other bed, it feels... incomplete. Like an important piece to his life is missing. It's only until he visits Komaeda that the feeling is gone. He feels whole again, like everything is perfect.

It was a strange phenomenon, but not an unpleasant one. Hinata didn't get what it meant, of course, and he didn't feel like going to anyone for advice on it. They'd just say he was imagining things, to just ignore it. But deep down, Hinata knew it was more than his imagination. It was something far bigger. He just wished he knew what exactly _it_ was.

“Hey, Hinata-kun, do you have any plans this weekend?” The question was sudden, out of the blue. Komaeda and Hinata had just been discussing (though it was more Hinata telling Komaeda about it) a new horror movie that was coming out. Hinata blinked once, processing the question.

“No, I don't think so,” Hinata answered, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Why, do you want me to come over again?”

Komaeda began to twist the sheets in his hand, a habit that Hinata noticed he did when he got nervous. He always fiddled with something, whether it was the infirmary bed sheets, or his jacket sleeve. Hinata guessed it was a coping mechanism of sorts. Maybe something to calm him down, or to help him focus as he thought of what to say next. “Well... you seemed to like _Chakushin Ari,_ and it has a sequel, so... I just thought, maybe...” he trailed off.

A little chortle escaped Hinata's lips. "Well, I wouldn't really say I was fond of it, but it was fun having to watch it with you."

Komaeda's brow twitched, his cheeks flushing. "...Shut up. You were wailing and whining throughout the whole movie, anyway. I thought you liked horror?"

Hinata shrugged. "I'm just the type who likes the thrill."

"Sure you do. If I told you someone was looking at you from behind, would you still like it?"

Frowning, he searched for a decent answer. He glanced from the corner of his eye and made sure Komaeda was simply teasing. "I don't really mean it that way," he said. "I get scared like a normal person would. But that doesn't stop me from liking it. In fact, the fact that it did get to me all goes to show that they make these horror movies effectively. That's what makes it good. But unlike other people who'd be like 'Blegh, let's never watch a horror movie again!' I do enjoy it. I like to stay afterward. I think you can put it that way."

Komaeda seemed to ponder about his answer. "Even if that horror movie scarred you for a long time," he began, after a little while has passed. "Would you still like it?"

"The fact that it left an impression gives it away. Of course, yeah."

"Is that so," he murmured. He sounded like he was still in deep thought. Then, after a while, a little smile cracked into his lips. Looking somewhat amused at his answers, Hinata felt flattered and embarrassed at the same time. It did lighten his heart though, that Komaeda took him somewhat seriously. He didn't just laugh it off. "So, are you coming or not?"

Hinata smiled. “Yeah, sure!” he agreed. “And since it's the weekend, do you mind if I come earlier? Say around... 4 PM?”

Komaeda closed his eyes, leaning back. “Come whenever suits you best,” he said. “Now, you were saying something about a new horror movie coming out?”

Hinata was surprised that Komaeda actually listened to his ramblings. So, with a smile, he continued.

...

Hinata knocked several times on the large oak doors. He rang the doorbell about three, maybe five times. He waited outside for about 10 minutes for them to open, and for Komaeda to let him in. However, nothing of the sort happened. The doors never opened, he didn't hear Komaeda's voice at all, nothing. Hinata began to ponder on what happened to him. Was he out? Did he forget that Hinata was coming over today? It was a possibility, considering he probably had little to no friends. He doubted that anyone other than himself had ever hung out with him before.

An idea came to him, and he reached for the door handle. Surprisingly enough, it opened. _So, it was unlocked, then._ _That would've been good to know_ , Hinata thought bitterly. He stuck his head inside, before going in completely and closing the door behind him. “Komaeda?” he called out. His voiced echoed throughout the mansion, but he received no response. Frowning, he began to explore.

Hinata explored the first floor first. He checked the living room right away, since he knew where that was. The TV was turned off, and no lights were on. No sign of Komaeda either. There was also a kitchen, a large dining room, a locked door that could possibly lead to the basement, and several bathrooms. But, there was still no sign of Komaeda.

 _Well, if he wasn't on the first floor, he could be on the second_ , Hinata reasoned. He made his way up the grand staircase, and began to explore the second floor. Immediately, something caught his interest. Two large twin wooden doors. They had carvings in them that looked like symbols and various intricate designs. There had been no doors like _this_ on the first floor.

He made his way over to the large doors, curious. As a test, he rattled the door handle. It was locked. A nameplate next to the doors read _Library_. _Well, that's odd._ _Why would somebody need to lock their library?_ Hinata wondered. He leaned closer to the doors, checking out the designs. He was so engrossed in them that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him.

“What are you doing?”

Hinata yelped, whirling around to see Komaeda staring at him. He has a blanket wrapped around him, and he was wearing pajamas. His face was red, and he had bags under his eyes.

“I, uh... You said to come over today, but you didn't answer the front door. And since I have no idea where your room is, I went around looking for it. But there was no sign of you, and I saw this door here and it looked interesting! And-” Hinata stopped his rambling as Komaeda let out a wheeze, which turned to several wheezes. Wait, was he laughing? More importantly, why was he wheezing?

“Komaeda, are you... sick?” Hinata asked, tilting his head. Komaeda let out a harsh cough, immediately stopping his impromptu... wheezing. He sniffed, rubbing his nose.

“I have a particularly bad fever today, if that's what you mean,” Komaeda answered, his voice nasally and a bit scratchy. “I should rest, so... you can go back for today.” He turned, heading into a dark hallway. Ignoring his suggestion to leave, Hinata followed after him.

“You're sick. And since you said you live alone, there's no one to take care of you. So! I'll take care of you for today,” Hinata decided. Komaeda glanced over at him, then nodded. Hinata was surprised that he didn't protest, like he thought he would.

Komaeda stopped in front of a door labeled _My Room._ Silently, he opened it, and the two went inside. It was a large room, with minimal furniture. There was a large bed with dark blue sheets on the far wall. Next to it was a nightstand with a lamp situated on top. On the other side was a desk with a couple of books on it. On the left side of the room was another door, which Hinata guessed was to a side room of sorts. The walls were painted a grayish blue, and the carpet was a smooth black. It was simple.

Komaeda hopped into his bed, situating the blanket he had around him so that it was on top of him. Hinata pulled out the chair from the desk, and sat next to the bed. “So, what are you sick with?” he asked.

“Just a common cold, most likely,” Komaeda said with a cough.

“Fever?”

A pause. “102.4, on the dot.”

Hinata stared at him disbelievingly. “A fever of 102? And you only have a cold?”

“It's not _that_ uncommon. That's usually the highest you can get for the common cold. I've suffered higher temperatures.” Komaeda waved his hand.

Hinata leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What's the highest?”

“104.6, exactly.” Komaeda let out a sigh. “It wasn't the best of days, for me. It only lasted for about half an hour before going back down to 103, though.”

Hinata's eyes widened. “That's crazy! How did it get so high?”

“I have a disease, of sorts.” Komaeda closed his eyes. “It weakens my immune system. That's why I'm in the infirmary a lot, and why you have to bring me all my work.”

Hinata hummed. “So, did it just get worse today, or?”

“Not exactly. Since winter is coming soon, so does the cold weather. This place's insulation isn't that great, so the cold air seeps in through the walls. It's hard to stay warm, and I don't exactly have a heater to use. Haven't been well enough to go out and buy one, either.”

“Why don't you live at the dorms instead?”

“Because I've lived in this place all my life. I have to take care of it. It's a memento...”

“A memento?”

“Yeah... from my family...”

Hinata hummed, staring down at the floor. His mind began to wonder, how exactly hard it must be for Komaeda being here all by himself. In his minds eye, he pictured Komaeda laying in his bed, sick, with no one but himself to take care of him. He imagined how lonely it must be. Every cough echoing off the walls, throughout the house...

He looked at Komaeda, expression softening. The smaller boy's breathing had evened out; he must've fallen asleep. An emotion he couldn't put a name on welled up inside of him. He wanted to help. He wanted to be able to do something, anything. As if a bulb lit up in his head, he got an idea. Quietly, he got up from the chair, scribbling down something on a piece of paper on the desk. With one last glance at Komaeda, he left the room.

...

Komaeda awoke to a smell, which immediately gave away that something was off. It wasn't a bad smell; it actually smelled really good. What threw him off was that there was no one in his house other than him. In return, that smell couldn't have been produced by no one other than himself. But here he was, in bed, and there was that smell.

When had he fallen asleep in the first place? He couldn't remember. Did someone come over? He vaguely remembered talking to someone... but who? Komaeda looked to his left, at his desk. The chair was out of place, facing the bed. There was also a piece of paper in the middle on it, which was definitely not there before. Cautiously, he slid out of his bed, walking over to the paper and picking it up.

_I'll be back soon. - Hinata_

“Oh, so he did come over after all,” Komaeda sighed to himself. He looked at the clock, reading _7:43 PM._ If he was remembering correctly, Hinata said he would come over at 4 PM. But, the problem was that Komaeda can't remember if he did. Huffing in frustration, he balled up the piece of paper and tossed it in the trash bin.

“Ah, you're awake,” Hinata's voice came from behind him. Komaeda turned around, a frown on his face. Hinata was standing in the doorway to his room, a bowl of something in his hands. So _that_ was where that smell was coming from.

“I thought you would've left by now,” Komaeda sighed, turning and sitting on the edge of his bed. Hinata blinked a couple of times, before walking over with a wide smile.

“Why would I do that? I left a note saying I'd be back soon, didn't I? Besides, I can't just leave when one of my friends are sick, you know,” he said, handing the bowl to Komaeda. The word made Komaeda tense. Friends... Were they friends?

Letting out a huff, Komaeda examined the bowl in his hand skeptically. It was... a soup of sorts? He glanced at his classmate, who was now looking out his window, humming a tune to himself. Komaeda gnawed on his lips trying to think of something to say. “Did... did you make this for me?” he decided to ask.

“Hm?” Hinata looked over at him, that smile still in place. “Of course. I'm able to cook, you know. That's something I had to learn when I was on my own. Your kitchen is huge, you know! It took me forever just to find the ingredients I needed! And...”

Komaeda began to tune out Hinata's rambling. _On his own... so Hinata-kun had lived on his own too, at some point._ Komaeda tossed the thought around in his mind. “Wh-why...” he began, fidgeting with his jacket strings. “Why were you on your own?”

The question took Hinata off guard. He didn't expect Komaeda to ask anything about him; didn't even think he'd care enough. He found himself smiling. Maybe Komaeda was alright with being his friend. “My parents weren't the nicest of people,” Hinata began. “They were super strict, always expecting something great out of me. They constantly tried to push me into being something I'm not.” He looked out the window again, observing the darkening sky. “Because of that, I went out a lot. Escaped. I stayed over at my friends' houses on multiple occasions, which is where I learned to cook. They didn't let me stay if I couldn't do something to help around, after all. I also stayed out late, just to avoid them.”

“They found out what I was doing, of course. Gave me a curfew of 7 PM, those assholes. If I missed it, they'd hide the only game system I had somewhere. From then on, most of my days after that were spent studying or sleeping. And when I finally graduated middle school, they informed me that they enrolled me at Hope's Peak. Sent me away. When I got here, the assistants informed me that I could still live at home. Of course I decided to live in the dorms.” Hinata let out a bitter laugh. “I never want to see them again, honestly speaking. I understand that they could've had good intentions, but that's just not how you should parent your kid.”

Komaeda set down the bowl on his desk. (It was empty now, since he ate it while Hinata talked.) “You've had it rough...” he murmured, looking down at the floor.

Hinata stood up straight, letting out a sigh. “Yeah, well, it's in the past now. That's all over and done with, I don't have to see them again if I don't want to.” He glanced at the clock, and immediately paled. “Crap, it's already _eight_? I gotta get going!” Hinata yelped, rushing over to the door. “See ya, Komaeda!”

“Ah-! Hinata-kun!” Komaeda called after him. Hinata halted, looking back over his shoulder. Komaeda looked away, feeling his cheeks heating up. “W-will you come over tomorrow too?”

Hinata blinked at him once, before grinning. “Yeah! Of course!”


	4. Realization

Sunday came and went. Hinata visited Komaeda, as promised. Komaeda's health was in a much better state than the day before, but he wasn't completely recovered yet. Most of the day was spent with Hinata caring for Komaeda, not that he minded. Komaeda would make protests every now and then; Hinata would dismiss them. He cooked up lunch for the two, and they ate together. Once Komaeda was actually feeling better, they spent the rest of the day watching movies.

“I'll be back on Monday,” Komaeda had said. “I'll be in class, too, so you won't need to go to the infirmary afterward.”

“Are you sure you'll be alright? You don't have to force yourself if you aren't feeling well enough,” Hinata had responded, worry in his tone.

“I'll be fine, idiot. I only need a few of days of rest. It'll go away as quick as it came. It always does.” Komaeda twisted the sheets in his hand. “B-besides... Since you've been caring for me... I got better quicker...” This had brought a large smile to Hinata's face, which Komaeda immediately told him to wipe off.

Time passed way too quickly for Hinata's tastes, as it usually did. Before he knew it, it was getting late and he had to leave. The two bid each other farewell, and Hinata rushed back to Hope's Peak. It wasn't far from Komaeda's home. About a 10 minute walk, actually. Thankfully, the dorms weren't too far from the gates, either.

When he entered his dorm room, Souda was lazing away on his bed as usual, reading a car magazine. “Oh, you're back,” he said once he noticed the other. “Ya were out later than usual today.”

“Was I?” Hinata avoided his roommate’s prodding. He took his homework out of his backpack, setting himself up at their desk.

“You're usually back around at least 8:30, but it's 8:50 now.”

“What are you, a stalker? Since when did you start paying attention to that?”

Souda choked on air, sitting up quickly. “I ain't nothin' of the sort! I get worried too, you know?”

Hinata grinned to himself. “You tell yourself that.”

Souda grumbled, resting back onto his bed. “So, ya get in a fight on your way back from wherever?” he asked.

Hinata let out a soft chuckle. “Of course not. You know I'm no good in fights.”

Souda scoffed. “Ya bein' modest or somethin'? I seen ya fight before, bro. Ya ain't half bad.”

“Please, you give me too much credit.” Hinata fished out a pen from his bag, and began to focus on his work. The silence between the two didn't last long.

“I've heard around some, and ya seem to be hangin' out with that creepy short kid a lot,” Souda commented.

Hinata paused his hand, which was writing down an answer. He turned to look at Souda with a frown. “Is there something wrong with that?” he asked.

“No, no, don't get me wrong. I ain't complainin', if that's what ya think I'm doin'. Ya just seem to be, I dunno...” Souda scratched at his head. “Ya talk about him all the time now. Aren't ya scared of him?”

“Why would I be scared?” Hinata huffed, turning back to his homework. “He hasn't done anything wrong. Plus, hanging out with him is fun.” He tried to focus again, thumping his pen against his chin.

“Fun? That kid?” Souda questioned, incredulous. “Are ya sure we're talkin' about the same person here?”

“Unless you're talking about some other short creepy kid in this school whose name is not Komaeda Nagito, then yes.”

“How exactly is he fun?”

“We share the same interest in horror. Plus, he's kinda... cute. Once you get to know him, at least." Hinata smiled to himself. “Sure, he has a lot of bite to him, but I don't mind that. He also gets embarrassed easily. You could to the tiniest thing for him and he'd blush. It's adorable, y'know? And...” Hinata looked over at Souda, who was staring at him uncertainly. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Souda shook his head, looking back to the magazine in his hands. “Man, anyone ever tell ya how dense ya are?”

“What are you talking about? You aren't making any sense.”

“Oh, nothin' at all. Try to brighten up sometime soon, will ya?”

Hinata clicked his tongue in annoyance, deciding to put his focus into his homework. Souda wasn't making any sense, anyway. There was just no use in talking to him when he got like this.

...

The next day, Komaeda showed up in class, just like he said he would. At that time, Hinata also began to notice things he didn't really like. When he entered the classroom, it was bustling with activity. Friends talking to each other, messing around. Some people greeted Hinata, and vice versa. As soon as Komaeda entered, it grew silent, minus the whispers that went around.

“Ugh, Mr. Gloomy is back.”

“And here I was hoping he finally changed classes, too.”

“No good comes around when that kid is here.”

“I wish he'd just disappear already.”

Komaeda's features were schooled ignorance. His face held no expression what-so-ever. He simply made his way to his seat, sat down, and got out his books. He payed no one a glance, not even Hinata. Hinata wanted to know what was going through his head. In instances like these, Komaeda was hard to read. It was difficult to even begin to guess what he was thinking.

Hinata wanted to get up, to go talk to Komaeda, to tell everyone that they were wrong about him. He wanted to defend him, to protect him from the rumors and the harsh whispers. But, reality doesn't work like it does in some sort of romantic fictional novel. Of course, the bell rang before he was able to do anything. The teacher entered, and the lesson started.

Hinata tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying, but his mind kept wandering, worrying. He knew he didn't need to worry about Komaeda that much. Komaeda could take care of himself. He said himself that he was used to this kind of treatment by now. The fact of that saddened Hinata to a great extent. No one should have to get used to this sort of treatment. Hinata stole a glance at Komaeda, who was scribbling away diligently at his note sheet. Did he really not mind at all? Did any of this affect him? Was he worrying for nothing?

Class ended at four o'clock. The distant roll of the bell interrupted their humdrum lecture about significant figures. Hinata heard muffled sighs of relief hanging across and behind, earning a suspicious glare from their surly middle-aged teacher. Grumbling a "see you tomorrow," he took a beeline for the door and closed it with a bang. As footsteps passed, the classroom was filled with the same noise again: mutters and whispers and hisses of scorn and disgust and spite, buzzing around like machines. Hinata rolled his eyes. His classmates never changed.

"I can't stand his lectures!" a classmate complained. Hinata tried to pay them no attention. "I'd rather do extra schoolwork than listen to his voice!"

"He's always so strict about his classes. He's no fun!"

"At least he's a lot better to deal with than that freak."

Derisive laughter. "You can say that again."

The last one prompted Hinata to peek at Komaeda. He was browsing through a book and had his eyes fixed on the pages -- Hinata was impressed to see him so concentrated, without a flicker of regard from what everyone else was murmuring about; it was as if he had truly distanced himself from the others. His mastery in ignorance both amazed him and concerned him. 

Minutes later, everyone else stuffed their books, worksheets and pens in their backpacks and hurried out. Soon, the classroom was quiet and deserted, bare of any presence or sound. It was just him and Komaeda left, who seemed to be reading without any intent to stop.

Smile in place, Hinata stood up and made his way over to the other. “Do you have any plans to leave, or are you just gonna read there?” he asked playfully, tapping Komaeda on the shoulder.

Komaeda immediately closed his book, glancing up at the other. “I was waiting to see if you'd join them or not,” he stated in a bored tone. “I wanted to see if you were like the others.”

Hinata gave Komaeda a confused look. “Why would I do that?”

Komaeda stared at his desk in silence, eyebrows knit in concentration. “I don't understand you,” he muttered. “Why you keep associating yourself with me... I don't get it.”

“Do you not want me to... associate with you or something?” Hinata wondered, leaning against the desk next to Komaeda's. Komaeda stayed silent, keeping his fixation on his desk. Hinata didn't understand what Komaeda was trying to get at. Was he trying to say he didn't want to be friends or something? Was Hinata getting ahead of himself in thinking that they were already friends?

Komaeda, on the other hand, was in deep thought about their situation, what the two had. Were they friends? Did Komaeda consider Hinata a friend? If asked, he supposed that the answer would be yes. But then what? Where does this go from here?

Deep down, Komaeda actually knew that Hinata wouldn't have joined in with the other classmates and their whispers. And it scared him. Being close with another human being scared him a lot. Friendship was a concept Komaeda was acquainted with, but never fully experienced. When he was a child, the other kids were all afraid of him and avoided him like the plague. The emotions he was experiencing, these feelings, everything was new to him.

Komaeda was more used to being on his own. He has been nearly all his life, all the way up until two weeks ago, when Hinata barged in. So he asked himself, why him? Why him of all people? Surely there were others Hinata could befriend instead, others who weren't as socially inept as he was. He wasn't fun, he wasn't the nicest person, but either way Hinata stuck with him.

Hinata was an anomaly, Komaeda figured as he snuck a glance at the taller boy. Hinata noticed right away, of course. He stood up straight, flashing Komaeda a weak, almost nervous smile. “Should I walk you home today?” he suggested, finally pulling Komaeda out of his thoughts.

Komaeda stood up from the desk, grabbing his bag as his cheeks tinted pink. “If you insist,” he grumbled, shooting Hinata a glare. Hinata's smile immediately widened, relieved that Komaeda was back to his normal self. They walked together out of the school. Komaeda made sure to put some distance between them, but Hinata didn't mind all that much. Both of them were silent, but it wasn't a bad silence. It was nice, comfortable.

From a distance away, a pair of bright blue eyes watched the two exit the gates together. Now, this development sure was interesting. Who would've thought Mr. Ace Student and Mr. Gloomy would be walking home together?

“Ah, Enoshima-san, what are you looking at?” Sonia asked, looking in the same direction. The two were gone by now. “Did you perhaps see someone suspicious?”

Junko laughed, waving a hand in front of her. “No, not at all! I just saw something...” She looked back in that direction, a smirk playing on her lips. “... interesting, is all.”

“Eh? Interesting?” Sonia wondered, watching as Junko began to walk off. A wave of anxiousness passed through her. This was worrisome. Junko being interested in something was never good news. Sonia really hoped she wasn't going to cause any trouble.

-

“Have you always walked home alone?” Hinata asked out of the blue. The two were just outside of the school grounds. Komaeda was walking somewhat closer to him, now that the sidewalk was narrower.

Komaeda scoffed. “Obviously, you idiot. I don't have any friends.”

Hinata hummed in thought. “Well...” he paused, trying to get his thoughts together. “Do you like being alone?”

Komaeda looked down, hands fiddling with the strings on his jacket. “It's pleasant and quiet being alone... but I feel like that's how I'm supposed to be,” he murmured.

Hinata glanced at him. “Hm? What do you mean by that?”

Komaeda smiled to himself; bitter, secretive. Like he was hiding something. “You wouldn't understand,” he murmured. His tone was distant, as if brushing Hinata off. It made Hinata... uncomfortable. He wanted to understand Komaeda. He wanted to get to know him, to be his friend. And it troubled his mind when Komaeda was seemingly determined to keep him at a distance. It pained him, filled his heart with doubts.

Komaeda had always been a mystery to him. No matter how endearing and curious his quirks and smiles were, he has always been drawn in by the mystery he gave off when he was there. Hinata wanted to solve that mystery, wanted to be close to Komaeda. Ever since they met in the infirmary that day, he was drawn to him. It was as if that meeting had tied wires around his wrist, and at the other end was Komaeda.

Hinata couldn't understand why. No matter how much he thought on it, he could never figure it out. The answer was there, but it was always right out of his reach. It was frustrating. Hinata wanted to know about his feelings, and about Komaeda. He just wished that the other was as willing.

Komaeda was nothing like anyone else, he thought. Hinata was convinced that there wasn’t anybody else that could match a personality like Komaeda’s -- mysteriously endearing. He asked himself, has Komaeda always lived in the shadows, not wanting to come out? He did say he... was accustomed and seemed to like isolation. Did he ever, perhaps, actually want a friend?

Hinata felt as if he was too fixated on Komaeda sometimes. Maybe... he might even be--

“We're here, idiot,” Komaeda's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Looking up, Hinata realized that, yes, they were now standing in front of Komaeda's... home.

“Oh,” Hinata said. “Yeah, it... seems so...”

Komaeda went up the steps, opening the front door. “I'll see you tomorrow then, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “Y-yeah... Tomorrow...” Komaeda shook his head, probably thinking something along the lines of this idiot, spacing out at someone else's doorstep. He went inside, closing the door behind him.

Hinata was really out of it on the way back to the school dorms. He felt... tense. No, more nervous. Or was it a sort of anxiety? Either way, it was a feeling he didn't like. He rushed to his dorm room; he needed to talk to Souda. Again, he was grateful that the male dorms weren't far from the gates.

“What's wrong with you?” Souda asked as soon as Hinata burst into the room. He watched as Hinata stumbled over to his bed, flopping on top of it.

“I'm in trouble, Souda,” he whined, voice muffled by his pillow.

Souda was genuinely confused. “What happened this time?”

“I think I'm starting to like him.”

“Like who?”

“Komaeda.”

Souda chuckled. “Didn't ya already like him? Ain'tcha all buddy buddy now?”

Hinata groaned, rolling over and staring at the ceiling. “That's not what I meant, and you know it,” he grumbled. Souda just hummed innocently. Sighing, Hinata covered his eyes with his arm. “I have it bad, don't I?”

“Yeah,” Souda agreed. “You're pretty screwed. In more ways than one, if you play it right.” Hinata threw his pillow at his roommate's face. Bullseye.


	5. Confrontation

Two days went by since Hinata realized his feelings. Hinata tried to act as normally as he could towards Komaeda, but the other was sharp. He knew something was up. But, with it being Komaeda, he didn't say a word. Since that day, Hinata also walked Komaeda home, though he never stayed. He was also spaced out more during classes, only snapping out of his daze once the bell rang. That wasn't all, of course. Life was never that easy. Something weird was also occurring at the same time. Well, not weird, but more... unexpected.

Enoshima Junko was never one of the many people who greeted Hinata in the mornings. But ever since that day, she suddenly started doing so. Not only that, but Hinata noticed she was always sneaking glances at him, smiling when their eyes met, observing him from afar. Whenever Hinata and Komaeda walked out of the school gates together, he felt her eyes on his back. It was a bit creepy, but Hinata tried to brush it off as nothing more than a coincidence. But as the days passed, that was getting harder and harder to do.

Additionally, Komaeda began to spend more time in the infirmary again. With December right around the corner, and the days getting colder, his disease was getting more and more prominent. The mutters of relief his classmates let out irked Hinata to no end. He was such a coward, though. He never had the guts to call them out. A small part of him, one that he resented, also felt relieved that he could spend a few days to compose and cool himself. He wouldn't have to worry about any short cute boys in glasses that'd make his heart race so fast whenever their eyes met every time he went into class. Of course, he still gave Komaeda his work, but only when they headed home together.

In the meantime, he settled with old-fashioned Hinata Hajime's way of dealing with the small crushes he developed. He'll keep on telling himself that he'll get past these stupid, stupid, stupid feelings in no time; all he has to do is just has to keep listening to the monotonous lecture of their sixth-period teacher and try not to think about it too much. Everything would go back to normal as soon as the feelings passed. (In his defense, though, Komaeda was really cute. It was hard to ignore.)

On the last day of November, Komaeda didn't show up at school. It worried Hinata to no end, given how high his fever got the last time he was home sick. The teacher still gave Komaeda's work to him to give to him after class, but when he ended up at Komaeda's doorstep, he chickened out. He imagined scenarios, things that could happen behind those closed doors. What if he made a fool of himself? What if Komaeda began to hate him? So instead, he slipped the work into Komaeda's mailbox and ran home, berating himself for being such an idiotic coward.

December 1 st came around. Everyone around him began excitedly talking about their plans for Christmas, and the new year. Winter break began on the 16 th , and Hinata knew he had to do something about the situation with Komaeda. He didn't come to school that day either; he really was sick, it seems. Hinata himself felt a little sick, too. His nerves were on edge from not being able to get enough sleep last night, his mind full of hateful thoughts and his imagination running wild.

“Good morning, Hinata-kun!”

And there it was. That overly joyful voice that began to call out to him in the mornings. On other days he was fine with it, but today it grinded his nerves down to a powder. Slowly, he turned, shooting Junko a glare. “What do you want, Enoshima?” he grumbled. The girl apparently caught the hint that he was in a bad mood, but she didn't seem to care much.

“Hmmm? Is there something wrong with giving people some attention?” she asked, putting her hands behind her back. Hinata felt his eye twitch in irritation. “You didn't seem to mind before, Hinata-kun! What's with the change of heart?”

“It's just weird. Creepy. You keep staring and smiling at me,” Hinata sighed. He noted that she didn't seem keen on leaving him alone anytime soon. Might as well ask her about it while the topic was up.

Junko giggled. “I don't understand what's so wrong with it! I noticed you, and so I started to pay attention to you. Speaking of noticing people...” Her lips twisted into a mischievous grin. “You seem to be hanging out with that Little Mister Gloomy Komaeda-kun a lot lately. Isn't that right?”

Hinata froze. _So that's what this was about._ Immediately, he put his guard up. “Is there something wrong with giving people some attention?” he shot her words back at her. “Besides, I don't think that has anything to do with you.”

Junko's smile fell. She kept her eyes on him, of course. Observing him, studying him. Hinata tried his best not to look away; it was a challenge of sorts. “Oh, Hinata-kun...” Her mouth lifted into a smirk. She was looking down on him. “Is it a crime for a girl to have an... eye for things? Wouldn't you think it's interesting to see somebody popular and an honor student with that cute little creep? You never know what kind of feelings can develop in a situation like that!”

Hinata sharpened his glare. She was toying with him, that much he knew. Goading him on, trying to get a reaction out of him. Make him blow up. Boil the blood in his veins.

Junko grinned at his reaction. “Aww, Hinata-kun,” she cooed. “Don't worry - I won't tell anyone! It's a secret between just you and me. Besides, I wouldn't want to be the one to break a newly blossoming relationship, you know? It would cost so much to rip apart something so precious and fragile!"

“It's none of your business,” he uttered lowly. It just pissed him off, those words. Junko was good at pushing buttons like that, manipulating people and their emotions.

Junko just laughed, putting her hands on her sides. “Oh, really? Because I heard that Komaeda-kun's a little sicker than before! It seems like time's ticking out little by little for him. Nobody wants to miss the last train home, eh, Hinata-kun?"

Hinata swore that his heart almost stopped in that moment. An icy chill went through him as he lost his footing, stumbling back against the wall for support. The thought hadn't even occurred to him. He always took Komaeda's presence with him for granted. Komaeda could be in a lot of trouble right now, and here he was, fretting about a little crush he had on him. Hinata was the only one Komaeda had. He had said his parents were on a vacation of sorts, and he didn't have any other friends. What if... What Komaeda was already...

A sudden burst of worry, anger, and some other emotion he couldn't put a name on shot through his veins. Hinata took off running without another word; Junko watched him leave with an amused expression.

...

Komaeda's house was the archetype of a vampire's. It was dingy, opulent; the chandeliers aloft seemed as though they've never been lit, the floorboards never blemished with footsteps. His house was designed to daunt its visitors, Hinata supposed, and to act as a home to its owners as well.

Hinata's shadow was terribly clear as he stumbled closer to Komaeda's room. The door was ajar, creaking when he nudged it open. It was noisy enough to prompt Komaeda to glance up from his book, squinting. “What's with all that racket you're making? I’m trying to read.”

“Enoshima told me you were _dying_ ,” Hinata huffed, out of breath from running all the way to Komaeda's house. “Why didn't you tell me? How could you just—” His voice caught in his throat and it twinged, but he fought the hurt back and the anger flared up again. “— _leave_ without at least telling me?"

Komaeda was incredulous. “…She told you what now?”

Hinata's eyes narrowed into deadly glare. “She told me you were _dying_! Dying, for heaven's sake! You could've told me!”

“Dying?” Komaeda was perplexed, although he was polite enough to close his book and place it by the bedside to match Hinata's irked gaze. “Hinata-kun, listen to me. I'm not—”

“Don't lie to me!"

Komaeda blinked at the interruption, but he didn't back down; he tightened his frown and tipped his chin up, raising his fangs as well. "I'm not _lying_ to you. Even if I was, do you think I could sit up and waste time bickering with you right now?"

"Wasting _time_?" Hinata growled in disbelief, gritting his teeth, inching closer to focus his eyes on Komaeda's ashen ones. They were filled with his usual ire and boredom, but with a hint of frank confusion. It simply doubled his indignation. "You think we're just wasting time here in your godforsaken home and arguing about stupid things? Is that what you really think this is?"

"Why else would I think otherwise?" Komaeda snapped again. "Aren't you enough of an idiot already to question my home a mansion when you already know it is - to fall for Enoshima-san's lies?" Hinata opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find anything else to argue to that. He already felt like he was losing, losing, losing - all to Enoshima's lies and Komaeda's sharp tongue and his own mistake. “I'm not dying, you idiot. Just get it through your head, and if you still pick to try and argue with me, then so help _me_.”

Hinata immediately quieted down. Komaeda heaved a sigh, rubbing his forehead in an attempt to calm himself. “First off, Enoshima-san was probably toying with you. You know she does that.” Komaeda shot Hinata a glare. He realized how stupid he was, believing Junko's words. “Secondly, why would you think I wouldn't tell you I was dying? Do you think I wouldn't tell you something that important after all we've become?"

Hinata felt his heart fluttering in his chest, the words ringing in his mind. Yet the doubt stayed, the same thing that kept him up the previous night. "Because I... I'm nothing but a classmate to you, aren't I? I'm... just that guy who keeps visiting you every single day just to fetch your homework..."

Komaeda frowned at him. "Do you think I don't consider you as a friend? Is that what you think of me as well? That I'm just nothing but a classmate to you? That I'm the boy who you visit everyday just to fetch me my homework?"

Hinata's breath caught in his throat, hands clenched into tight fists. "...No. You're not just that to me. You're not." You're so much more.

Komaeda's anger faded. His eyes were opaque and hard to fathom; they peaked with curiosity. "I thought you weren't like everyone else," he said, a calmer tone to his words.

"I'm not," Hinata replied, looking down at his shoes - leathery, but unpolished and worn out. Would he even stand a chance against him? "You... I..." Hinata fidgeted with his hands - and he can't avoid noticing the mirth that twinkled in Komaeda's eyes - it took him a moment to read them. _My habit_. Hinata's cheeks heated up as he stood, rooted in place.

Komaeda let out a soft laugh. The inflection his voice produced was enough to drag Hinata out of his head and get his heart beating again. Komaeda simply shook his head, lips curved up into a small smile. “You're such an idiot,” he murmured.

Hinata smiled in return, placing a hand over his face. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I'm a huge idiot.”

The two chatted casually after that, Hinata settling himself on the desk chair like last time. It was easier now, more relaxed. The relief that had flowed through Hinata was enough to calm his nerves. In a way, he was thankful to Junko for this. Of course he was pissed at her, that much won't change. But if she hadn't have done this, he'd probably still be too nervous and on edge to talk to Komaeda normally again.

After a while, Komaeda fell asleep again. Thankfully, his fever wasn't too bad. Just a simple 100.3. With some rest, Komaeda would be able to come back into class the next day. Hinata had made up his mind, too. He knew what would happen again when Komaeda came back to class. The harmful whispers his classmates let out that always grinded his nerves, but never could he find the courage to stand up and say something. But that was different now. When that time came, Hinata would tell them all off.

As a way of an apology, Hinata finished all of Komaeda's work that he hadn't be able to do thanks to his fever. It was fairly easy. He'd make sure they'd all be A+'s. After that, he left a note by Komaeda's bed saying he was heading back. Tomorrow, he'd give their teacher the work early in the morning. Komaeda would get the papers back during class. Maybe, afterwards, Komaeda would even praise him. Hinata doubted it, though. It'd go against Komaeda's abrasive personality. Hinata smiled as he looked at the daunting mansion. I'll be looking forward to tomorrow. _You should too, Komaeda_.

...

Just as planned, Hinata got up earlier than usual that morning. Souda complained as the alarm went off, pulling him out of his dreams. He muttered an apology, which Souda promptly waved off before falling back asleep. Hinata rushed through his usual morning activities, not even bothering to brush his hair, before rushing out of the dorms and to the teachers’ lounge. Thankfully, his teacher was there, asking why Hinata was up that early. Hinata just gave a small laugh, handed the package of Komaeda's finished work to him, and then made his way to his classroom.

The first few classes passed without incident. Komaeda wasn't in any of his morning classes, only the one they had before their study break. With every second that passed by, Hinata began to feel more and more nervous. Each second that ticked by was another moment closer to when he'd see Komaeda again. Hinata had promised himself that he would help Komaeda in any way possible, even if that meant making enemies.

Time passed, as it has a habit of doing. Hinata made sure to make it first to class, so he had time to build up his nerves. (He never did like confrontations.) Slowly, the classroom filled up. Friends greeted each other, fooling around seemingly without a care. And when Komaeda came in, the room was quickly filled with a silent chill.

“Sheesh, he's back already? Couldn't he have stayed sick a little longer?”

“Ugh, I can never focus when he's here.”

“Hurry up and die already, you trash.”

Hinata slammed his hands down on his desk, earning the attention of the class as he slowly stood up. He turned his head, glaring at the rest of the room. Distractedly, he noticed Komaeda's expression. A mix of surprise and... worry, probably?

“You know,” he began, his voice surprising him and everyone else. Bold, unafraid. Adrenaline pumped in his veins, blurred his mind. “People who deserve to be put in the garbage is trash like every one of you, who talk about people behind their backs and wish for them to die. You're all lower than dirt. It makes me wonder here who the real person that deserves to die is.” The entire class was silent. Hinata tipped his chin up, a smirk winding up on his face, eyes scanning the rest of the room. “Pathetic.”

A couple people stood up, ready to fight back. But before anyone could retaliate, the teacher came in, surprised by the hostile atmosphere the class held. “What are you people doing? Sit down, _sit down_!” he snapped.

Hinata grinned to himself as he and the others sat in their seats. He cheered internally. It's my win! Hinata snuck a glance at Komaeda, whose face was red. He was probably thinking things like, _What's with that idiot, standing up for me like that? Has he no shame?_ or _What an idiot. Making a big deal out of something so small._ But Hinata didn't care. All that pent up frustration at the class was finally let out, and he could relax. Of course, he was sure a few people probably hated him now, but what was the harm in that?

After the lecture ended, the teacher produced the packet of Komaeda's work from his bag, setting it on his desk. Komaeda stared at it, confused, before the dots connected in his mind. The class had already emptied out, and Hinata was standing by the door, waiting for him. Komaeda looked over the work, shook his head, then stood up and made his way over to Hinata.

“Hinata-kun, crouch down and close your eyes,” were his first words to him. Confused, Hinata closed his eyes and leaned down. Komaeda brought two fingers up to Hinata's forehead, before flicking him. Hinata yelped, backing up and rubbing the spot.

“Wh-what was that for?” Hinata stammered.

Komaeda held the worksheets up, which were marked with A's. “If you didn't notice, you forgot to write my name down. And you know our teacher's verdicts about unlabeled papers,” he stated.

Hinata averted his gaze. “...And what makes you think I did that?” he asked. There were plenty of reasons that directed it to him, of course. He just wanted to know Komaeda's reasoning.

Komaeda heaved a sigh, stashing the papers back into his bag. “Because you're the only ace student in the class who's stupid enough to forget to write down your own name.” Hinata shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed. “Also...” Komaeda began. He turned his gaze to the floor, his cheeks beginning to heat up. “Thank you for... standing up for me.” Hinata blinked down at him, surprised. An overwhelming joy bubbled up inside him, and he laughed, taking Komaeda by surprise. “Wh-why are you laughing?” he yelped, cheeks burning.

“N-no, I—” Hinata gasped for breath, doubled over. “I-I'm just really relieved!” Komaeda stared at him uneasily as his laughter was reduced to giggles. “I thought you would be bothered by it. Me standing up for you, I mean.”

Komaeda frowned at him in confusion. “Why would I be bothered by it? I was...” he trailed off, looking away again. “I was... really flattered... No one's really done that before, so...” Hinata smiled affectionately at him, ruffling his hair. Komaeda glared up at him, faltering when he saw his expression. “Wha—”

“You're my friend, Komaeda,” Hinata said, voice soft. “Of course I'm going to stand up for you. I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to do it until today.”

Komaeda tried to ignore the fact that Hinata's hand was still on his head. His cheeks were heating up again as he avoided his gaze once more. “You don't need to apologize,” he grumbled. “You did what you could, when you could. It probably won't stop them, though. You just dragged yourself into my problem by doing that.”

Hinata chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets. “I don't mind. I've dealt with it before, I can deal with it again.”

Komaeda's frown only deepened. A calm silence passed between them that seemed to last for hours. “Let's go home,” he murmured.

Hinata just smiled. “Yeah. I'll come with you.”


	6. Library

After class, Hinata flounced out of the classroom with his thoughts in a clutter of ire and worry and stress. He told Komaeda to wait for him at the school gates, that he had some business to take care of. Hinata was still livid about the day before, though he was at least smart enough to know now that he or Komaeda weren't at fault. It was  _her_ fault, for lying to him and even having the grits to do so in the first place. It was her fault that she had spoiled everything. He hated confrontation, but this was something he had to do.

Hinata wasn't a hateful type; he didn't bear long-term grudges or wallowed for his misfortunes or did anything that would simply cultivate his hatred. But this was different. _Why_ did life had to be like this? Why did she have to spoil something so - 

"Oh, Hinata-kun!"

_Sigh._

"Oi, oi, Hinata-kun!"

Hinata waited for his anger to settle down. _It's just talking to Enoshima, that's all,_ he tried to imprint into his mind. _She's not going to make me run again and look like an idiot on the street. Keep it cool._

"So how did your talk with little Komaeda-kun go last night, huh?" Enoshima chirped. Hinata huffed; he was getting fidgety. This wasn't good. "I hope your heart is still in pieces, 'cause it seems that his isn't!” She paused, taking in his figure. “Or not? Hm?"

Hinata sent her a cold glare. Enoshima seemed to take it as bait, so she continued.

"You know, I heard from Souda-kun that you might have a thing for that little freak! That was _so_ easy to figure out, of course. Just hand in a fake number and tell him it's Sonia's, and you'll be getting all the snoop you want from him! It's pretty funny he's a mechanic, won't you agree? That guy is so useful in _soooo_ many ways. But y'know what really got my boat afloat? That you guys had a fight last night! Is everything okay with him?"

Hinata kept his words to himself, his emotions masked.

"Hey!" Enoshima pursed her lips into a sour pout. Her polished nails pat his shoulder to call for his attention, but Hinata paid her no mind. She tipped her head to the side and leaned in, close enough to pin her pretty, pretty eyes on his. Hinata scoffed in blatant disgust. "Do you know what a crime it is for a guy to ignore a girl? That'd cost you, like, a girl's feelings! They're like Gucci bags, you know? Delicate and easy to break! You should be more careful with them."

"Why did you lie to me?"

Enoshima gasped without an ounce of sincerity. "Oops! About that, well - you can't help but get the wrong juicy gossip every once in a while, right? Don't worry, Hinata-kun! It's not like it's going to kill Komaeda-kun's little heart. They're just stories! Stories that come from pretty little liars who love to ruin the fun of friendships like yours and Komaeda-kun's. Right, right?" She giggled, resting her hand on his shoulder in a sort of mock assurance.

He brushed off her hand, his blood boiling. "Stop acting so friendly towards me. It's disgusting."

"Oh? What's so wrong with being friendly? Are you really _that_ mad at me, Hinata-kun? I'm heartbroken!" she said dramatically, placing her hand over her heart in mock pain. Hinata's glare sharpened; Junko snickered. "Uwahh! Has anyone ever told you what a super scary expression you have, Hinata-kun? I feel like you're about to rip me to shreds!" Enoshima's grin fell into a smirk. "Did you get into fights a lot back in the day or something? You give off that kind of feeling, you know! So terrifying."

At last, he chose to click his tongue and stay quiet. Talking to her was pointless. All she did was poke at him. He wasn't going to let her get to him. Not again. "From now on, stop associating yourself with me. I'm done with you and your games," he told her when he left. He stalked off towards the gate, her voice still echoing behind him.

"You know, Hinata-kun," she called out to him. "You never know whether rumors are true or not. I mean, if they were rumors, there exists a possibility of whether it's true or false, right?"

If this situation were any different, her words might have rang into his ears and triggered him to shout, yell, howl back - but now, her lies have fallen into deafen ears. Hinata was no longer dense. Or, at least he thought he wasn't. He was just so exhausted; all he ever did was develop a stupid crush on a cute, short statured boy with glasses who liked horror and now he got  _this_. Why can't he just be with Komaeda? Why do things have to be so _difficult_?

“Hey idiot, what took you so long?”

The sound of Komaeda's voice immediately calmed Hinata's senses. _That's right_ , he reminded himself. _Life was always a difficult for me. It's something I should be used to by now._ Putting on a smile, Hinata looked up at Komaeda, who was staring at him with a worried expression. “Sorry I took so long,” Hinata apologized, rubbing the back of his head. “Things got a bit out of hand.”

Komaeda narrowed his eyes, inspecting him. “What's wrong with you? You don't seem to be your usual annoying self.”

Hinata waved at him, forcing a laugh out. “It's nothing. I just realized some things, got into an argument.” Komaeda frowned; Hinata took that as a _with who_ and _was it my fault_. “With Enoshima, I mean! Don't worry, I just talked to her about yesterday. But of course, she only pushed my nerves.”

Komaeda closed his eyes - a relieved expression. Was he worried that Hinata was going to get into a fight because of earlier? The thought put butterflies in his stomach, and he tried to stop himself from smiling too much. “Let's go. I have work to do,” Komaeda stated, turning and walking off. Hinata quickly followed after.

The walk to Komaeda's mansion was, as per usual, quiet. Hope's Peak was on the edge of the city. If you went left, you'd end up where the rest of civilization was. If you went right, the sidewalk would eventually cut off and you'd have to walk on the side of the road. There were a few streetlamps that lighted up as the sun set along the road, for the sake of the few cars that drove by. Every now and then you'd seen an old house, either abandoned or with some old lady living in it probably with a bunch of cats.

The last house they passed before it was completely forested was falling apart. The roof looked like it has several missing parts, the windows were shattered, and there was no door. The wood it was built with looked stained, probably from water damage. It was unlike the rest, which were in a far less unkempt condition. Whenever the two passed it, Hinata glanced at it, waiting to see if he saw a flash of light, or a shadowy figure. It looked like the kind of place that could be haunted.

This time, Hinata stopped in front of it, observing it more thoroughly. “Hey,” he called out to Komaeda, who had also stopped ahead of him. “Do you know what's up with this place?”

Komaeda looked at the house, eyebrows knit in concentration. “This place was abandoned a long time ago, before my... parents moved here and had me,” he began. “I'd say it was built around 100 to 200 years ago, judging from how far it is from the city. The last person who lived here was probably an old woman who died alone, with no family to take care of her. I'm supposing her parents, grandparents, or great grandparents bought the house, wishing for it to be passed down for future generations to live in. However, she was probably the last of her bloodline alive. No brothers or sisters. She was also infertile, unable to reproduce. No man wished to marry her for that reason. She was too poor to be able to support a child on her own, so she didn't adopt either. A kind-hearted, but sad woman.”

Hinata stared at Komaeda in awe. He glanced at the house, then back at Komaeda. “How did you... know all of that?” he asked.

Komaeda paused, eyes meeting Hinata's for a split second. “You weren't the only one in interested in this house,” he answered vaguely. “Come on, let's go before the sun sets and it gets dark.” Komaeda began to walk again, Hinata following after.

The words rang in Hinata's head. The way Komaeda said that made it seem like it wasn't himself that had an interested in it beforehand. He guessed maybe his parents were; that'd be the most reasonable explanation. Well, unless Komaeda had had friends when he was a kid that were interested in it. Did Komaeda have friends as a kid? He seemed to be more of the type that would've kept to himself. He said that it was _pleasant_ being alone, but he never said he _liked_ it.

Komaeda was always so secretive. He never talked about himself, and whenever Hinata usually asked about him, he always responded with a vague answer. It was frustrating. Hinata wanted to know, to understand Komaeda better than anyone else. (Though, to be honest, he probably already does.)

“We're here, idiot.” Komaeda's voice snapped Hinata out of his daze, the words bringing a sort of nostalgia to him. Komaeda began to fidget with his jacket strings. “Do... do you want to come in today?”

Hinata's heart jumped into his throat. “Y-yeah! Sure,” he responded, trying not to sound too excited. This was the first time since Hinata started walking him home that Komaeda actually invited him inside. Komaeda gave him a small smile, the one that Hinata adored so much. He turned, unlocking the doors and going inside. Hinata quickly followed after.

The door shut behind him, Komaeda heading towards the kitchen. “I'll make us something to drink. You can do whatever while you wait,” he said, glancing back at Hinata before disappearing into the other room.

Hinata stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, fidgeting with one of the buttons on his jacket. He looked around, racking his brain to try and find something to do. He already checked out the whole first floor when Komaeda was sick. Where was a place he hadn't been before...? _The library!_ Hinata realized. _But it was locked the last time I was here... Should I check it out anyway?_ He looked at the staircase, before coming to a decision and making his way up.

The doors seemed to loom over him this time. The lighting from the sun at this time of day made it seem all the more... creepy. Swallowing nervously, Hinata grasped the handle, turning it slowly. To his surprise, it was unlocked. The door creaked open; he was almost worried Komaeda could've heard it from inside the kitchen. Hinata peaked inside, before opening the door all the way an entering.

Inside was, well, the most extravagant library Hinata had ever had the courtesy of laying his eyes on. The room seemed to be larger than it could've possibly been, giving it's location. The bookshelves went to the ceiling, packed with books much thicker than the ones in the school library. The lights were on, meaning that Komaeda had used the place recently.

Looking around in awe, Hinata began to traverse forward. As soon as he stepped between the first two bookshelves, he suddenly felt something snap around his ankle. Letting out a yelp of surprise, he tried to grab something as his body was tugged upwards. Once his bearings came back to him, he realized he was hanging from the ceiling.

 _Wh... Who the hell lays traps in their library?!_ Hinata nearly cried out. He tried to reach up and untie whatever kind of knot might've been tied around his ankle. But after several attempts, he gave up and waited for Komaeda to come and get him.

Vaguely, he heard a sort of ringing come from downstairs. And, soon enough, Komaeda walked into the room, wearing a look of indifference as he stared up at Hinata. “...What are you doing?” he asked after several seconds.

Hinata laughed, waving his arms a bit. “Oh, you know. Nothing much. Just hanging around,” he joked.

Komaeda sighed, putting his hand on over his face in exasperation. “You're such an idiot,” he grumbled, walking past him to get a step stool.

When Komaeda came back with a stool and rose up to unlace the knot trapping Hinata, he reaped what little self control he had to not look so red-faced. It was a petty, petty thing to get so worked up about. He was just being let down by his friend. For sure, there was absolutely nothing to get stressed out about. It'd just be over with a swoosh and he'd go back downstairs to join Komaeda for tea, chat about things, and go home. The end.

But as soon as Hinata was set free, his assumptions were very much mistaken. He ended up toppling over Komaeda, their faces inches apart from one another. The impact of falling pitched into his stomach and suddenly the world was static and bleak and motionless. The glow of the sunset highlighted Komaeda's face and the monotonous drone of the thermos downstairs buzzes in his ears. The scent of old notepaper was thick, musty; suddenly, everything was much clearer, yet vaguer.

It was like a scene out of a cliché shoujo manga that Hinata totally didn't bother to read. He felt his ears burning as he laid his knuckles on the floor to steady himself. He tried to say something, anything - but nothing came out. He had lost his voice. Distractedly, he wondered if he should just stay like this - transfixed by the shine in Komaeda's ashen eyes and the flush of his cheeks. Nothing else will matter. And then, maybe, he might lean down, close his eyes and -

But Komaeda, being Komaeda, shook him out of his daze and put on his usual scowl, muttering in a displeased tone: "Get off me, you idiot."

Hinata immediately backed off, wincing slightly as pain shot through his knee. Hinata rolled up his pants, inspecting the damage. It wasn't that bad, thankfully. It was slightly red from the impact, and was only bleeding a little bit. Komaeda glanced at the wound, letting out a sigh as he stood up. “Stay here. I'll be back with a bandage.”

It only took Komaeda about a minute to come back with a first aid kit. As he put some disinfectant cream on his knee, Hinata came to realize something. “Your parents seem to have been on vacation for a long time,” he stated. “Are they usually gone for half a month every time they take one, or something?”

“Ah, that...” Komaeda murmured, opening a large band aid. “That was a lie. My parents are actually dead.” The information came across casually, but hit Hinata like a tidal wave. His breath caught in his throat, wracking his brain on what to say. “Before you say something stupid like I'm sorry, it's fine. They died about 5 years ago, in an... accident. I've come to terms with it by now.” Komaeda sat back; Hinata rolled his pants back down, murmuring a thanks. “I told you, didn't I? I feel like I'm supposed to be alone. Everything is eventually taken away from me; someday you'll leave just like the rest.”

Those words struck a nerve inside Hinata. “I won't leave,” he murmured. Komaeda looked up at him, their eyes meeting. “If there's anything I can promise you, I promise I won't leave you.”

Komaeda's gaze faltered, and he turned his attention to the ground. “You can't... you can't promise something like that-”

“I can!” Hinata interrupted him. In a spur of the moment, he grabbed Komaeda's hand, bringing it close to him. Komaeda tensed, shrinking away. “I can and I _will_ promise you. I won't just get up and suddenly disappear. I won't grow bored of you or anything like that. I won't suddenly decide I don't like you anymore and leave you alone.” Komaeda stayed silent, his cheeks flushed. Hinata felt Komaeda's fingers intertwine with his, but it was cautious. A weak and timid gesture. Hinata's heart kicked up a few beats.

"Y-you..." Komaeda's voice shorted out, lungfuls of words falling out of mouth. Hinata's careless words could have hidden unkept promises and torn bonds and scornful laughter over broken weeping. Perhaps Hinata was declaring his extreme pity for Komaeda's harrowing, tragic and pathetic life, or he was just exerting effort to spare Komaeda a minute of thought because he wanted to be an _exception_ from everyone else.

But he may be saying this, dignified and stark-eyed, out of genuine faith. That Hinata was hopeful that their friendship, their relationship, their bond, would hang on no matter how strong the tides could be - and Hinata Hajime wouldn't let Komaeda Nagito drown in the whispers and rumors.

Komaeda's fingers tightened its hold, if only slightly. He _wanted_ to believe in Hinata. He had proven himself different from everyone else, that he wouldn't judge Komaeda based on the rumors that surrounded him. But there was a wall, a wall that Komaeda was too afraid to tear down, even if Hinata was slowly destroying it for him. "You've done enough... stupid things for today, Hinata-kun. I think you should save all your speeches for another time."

Komaeda's eyes were filmed over with doubt, urging Hinata to stay away, that he didn't deserve to come down the rabbit-hole with him. Hinata tried to reason with him, grasping Komaeda's hand - bony and little and cold. "It's okay. I could do a bunch of stupid things for a friend. It's not such a big deal for me."

But Komaeda let go. He loosened his hold on Hinata's hand and shifted away, got to his feet and headed for the door. "Our tea must've gone cold by now," he said, just to fill the dry silence. Hinata watched him go, listened to the patter of his footsteps, and felt something hollow reel inside him. He dismissed it, and joined Komaeda downstairs.

The feel of Komaeda's hand in his lingered; it brought a twinge of pain to his heart.

...

"So what'd ya do?"

"I left."

"You left?"

"I left," Hinata repeated like a sin, boring holes into the dim-swallowed ceiling with lidded eyes. "I left. Not for good, I mean."

"So you two just chitchat a bit, a little about eerie stuff and scary stories and schoolwork, then some other complicated stuff. Then ya finished yer tea, thanked him, said goodbye, and you left. Right?"

"Pretty much," Hinata drawled out. "That's just that."

"What a riot."

"I had a long day."

Souda hummed, sipped from his Coke Zero, and grimaced apologetically. "I'm sorry about the Enoshima thingy, man."

Hinata turned away from him. "It isn't your fault."

"I heard she stirred up some trouble."

"False trouble, at least."

"You really don't wanna get on her bad side or good side," Souda said thoughtfully. "She's just... a plain drag in the ass, I guess. No guy can stand her. Hell, I bet even Sonia-san gets some jitters hanging out with her."

"Except for that guy in Class 78 - what was his name? Something that rhymes with coat and eggs."

" _Naegi Makoto_."

"Oh."

Their quiet laughter died out as soon as the clock warned them it was nearly 2:00 am. Souda gulped the remnants of his soda down, tossed it away in the bin and curled into the covers.

"Say what, man," Souda yawned. "Maybe you should let me meet that kid sometime."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure. Might as well check him out from all yer yakking about how cute he is when he blushes and says yer name. Build a bridge, man." A gesture of his hand. "Get over it."

"I would if he'd be there with me."

Souda's chortle was muted by his yawn and a gauche "goodnight, bro" as he buried his face under the pillow, his snoring rivaling the pitter-patter on the windowsill. Hinata whiled the last hours of dusk in his bed, darting his thoughts around films of blood-rusted girls dragging people in ill-lit corridors and eyeless serial killers ripping lost wanderers in the forest apart until his mind was too foggy and weary from all the imaginary motions. He glanced at the clock - 4:24 am - and disputed with himself whether to wait until daylight arrived or sleep.

But Komaeda came to mind and suddenly, Hinata realized that _he_ had been the origin of his sleepless nights and runny plops of ink on worksheets. The reprimands from their sixth-period teacher for not paying attention, the forgetfulness of writing his own name down, looking at Komaeda for more than a moment.

The little flinch in his chest was too little to be dismissed.

Hinata sighed. He was overthinking again. He knew it wouldn't help him in the morning or when he'd see Komaeda again. So, he turned his lights off, drifted off to sleep and noted to himself about holiday shopping just before his consciousness faded away.

By the time Hinata had awoken, the sun was no longer there. Snow was painting tiny little circles on his window, and Souda was clad in three layers of scarves, quivering.

_Here comes the storm._

 


	7. Komaeda Nagito

Komaeda hated getting up in the mornings. Nights were a haven to him - in his dreams, he was peaceful, and nothing in the world could bother him. However, during the day, there were also dangers waiting to strike. Gangs, murderers, harassers, bullies, thieves; all varying degrees of a potential threat. Komaeda had always been on his own. That was something that would never change to him.

When he was a kid, the other kids were afraid of his cold demeanor. The teachers never associated with him. Adults and peers alike whispered nasty things about him. He never had anyone he could call a friend. In those days, all he had were his parents. He loved his parents deeply. They were the only people who listened, who cared and loved him. But even they were taken away from him. The stole cold hand of death has always been merciless to others. Why would his parents be any different?

But now, Hinata Hajime had rushed into his life. It was an out of the blue occurrence, and something that he had thought would eventually disappear within a couple of days. The first day in the infirmary left him confused. Even after Komaeda had clearly brushed him off, Hinata didn't leave until he had to go to his next class. And as the weeks passed, Hinata still never left. He always tried to converse with Komaeda, to get to know him better. Sometimes, he'd ramble about things Komaeda didn't particularly care about, but had listened to anyway.

Komaeda slowly felt himself warming up to the other. It was obvious that he wouldn't give up - he was the stubborn type, after all. And when he invited Hinata to his house, it was on a whim. That day was the most fun that Komaeda had had in a long time, even if he had never showed it. After that, Komaeda decided that maybe he would trust Hinata a little more. Calling him by his name was a stepping stone. He'd be lying if he said he didn't like how it rolled off his tongue.

Conversing casually with someone was also something new to Komaeda. He was actually surprised with himself when he was able to talk normally with Hinata on the day he took care of him while he was sick. Perhaps it was the fever doing most of the talking, but even after that, he was able to hold a conversation with him. Along with the new development came an overwhelming fear - Komaeda was getting too close. Words spun around in his head; words that had left a scar on Komaeda's already broken heart.

_You aren't fit for human interaction, you know. You're just like the rest of us; a rose in a sea of daffodils. Bonds will only hurt you. Humans will only tear at your heart. You're better with people like us. Safer. Happier._

Komaeda had, at first, refused to believe him and left. They had left an impact, though. A never-ending doubt that _maybe_ he was right. So, when Komaeda had gone back to class, he decided to see if Hinata was like the others. If he'd join in on the whispers. In the back of his mind, he knew that he wouldn't. Hinata was like that. But still, a part of him wished that he would. He wished that Hinata would be like the others, that he would have a reason to push Hinata away. But, to Komaeda's slight dismay and relief, he was proven wrong. In fact, Hinata had even seemed angry.

It was terrifying.

After that day, Hinata had started acting different around him. More secluded. Nervous, even. Komaeda knew what had happened. Even an idiot could figure it out. The stutters, the blushing, the way he avoided contact with Komaeda. Not to mention how the idiot had decided to give him his work at the end of the day rather than in the infirmary. The signs all pointed to one thing: a crush.

The somewhat popular Hinata Hajime had developed a crush on the infamous Komaeda Nagito.

Ridiculous.

It was ridiculous enough that Komaeda decided that he was wrong. He _had_ to be wrong. Because if he was right, then what? Where would that put him? If Hinata suddenly confessed to him, what would he say? Whenever Komaeda brought that situation to mind, he couldn't imagine the events that would transpire afterward. Did he harbor feelings for Hinata? He didn't know for certain. Maybe. Probably.

The questions pegged Komaeda's mind while he lay in bed, trying to sleep. He tried to wish them away, to make them disappear. But he couldn't. He kept worrying. It was unlike him, thinking so much on something so little. On those nights, he got little to no sleep. Since December was rolling in, the temperature in his house dropped significantly at night. Honestly, he really should invest in getting a heater at some point in his life. At least, before he'd die of some illness that took hold of him while he was at his weakest.

With those sleepless nights also came a drop in Komaeda's ability to ward off those sicknesses. In almost no time, he had caught the common cold. During the times he'd lay stuck in bed, either reading to himself or trying to sleep, he'd think on when Hinata had taken care of him.

Sometimes, he'd imagine Hinata staying by his bed, taking his temperature or patting his head. Hinata would tell him to get better in that soft voice of his, tucking him in and maybe even kissing his forehead. And Komaeda would grumble and tell him to go away, but Hinata would stay by his side. Hinata would always stay by his side. After Komaeda snapped out of... that, he'd realize exactly what he was imagining and blame it on the fever. (Secretly, he knew it wasn't just the fever. But he refused to admit that to himself.)

After about two days had passed, and Hinata came rushing in saying that he heard that Komaeda was dying, Komaeda had come to realize something. Hinata was a lot more of an idiot than he expected. No, to simply call him an idiot would be too soft. He was a moron. An imbecile. He just hoped that his folly wouldn't trigger him any trouble. But, of course, when you wish for something not to happen, it happens anyway.

Hinata exploring his library was something Komaeda didn't account for when he invited him in. As a matter of fact, he had completely forgotten to lock it back up the last time he used it. He didn't even know why Hinata decided to explore his house. It's not like it was an abandoned relic, hiding various treasures that people risked their lives to find. Nor was it a mysterious haunted house, riddled with ghosts and demons alike.

When he had found Hinata, hanging from the ceiling from the trap he'd set up, he was... exasperated, to say the least. A bit helpless. Here was this idiot he had grown to know, grown to care for, hanging from his ceiling by a rope. This idiot, who had questioned him sick when he was lying in the infirmary. This idiot, who had questioned his home a mansion when it was obvious it was. This idiot, whom Komaeda had to get a step stool just to let him down.

And then Hinata fell on top of him.

It was unexpected. He didn't even know how it happened. Perhaps he had lost his balance, or maybe Hinata was just that clumsy. Still, every time he'd think back on it, his head would spin a little. It made his heart race. Their faces were so... close. Hinata's eyes were wide with surprise, cheeks dusted with pink. His scent was all Komaeda could breathe in; a mixture of cologne and notepaper. He felt the world stop. There was only Hinata's breath tickling his cheeks, holding him still. Komaeda's breath hitched as he imagined reaching up and—

Stupid.

The situation, Hinata, and himself; they were all stupid. Completely and utterly ridiculous. Why had he even thought about those things in the first place? He couldn't be bothered; shouldn't be. And so he ruined the moment, ordering Hinata to get off of him, and from then on it was all a bleeding mess. They drank their tea in an awkward silence. And when the time for Hinata to go home came, he said goodbye as if he was actually saying, _I'll come back for you_. Komaeda had nodded like he was going to respond with, _I'll be waiting._

He thought about it all the time; on morning walks to school, on nights he couldn't sleep, on idle afternoons where he leaned his head on grey and blue walls, curtains open and wind chattering his teacup on his bedside table, eyes lidded into an easy sleep. Would Hinata would wait for him too? There wasn't any question to him coming back; but what about it? What if they stood at the other end of the tunnel-- would Hinata wait for him?

There were times when Hinata made his head wander in circles, and times when he made his face burn with red, and other times Komaeda just wanted to punch Hinata's grin off of his stupidstupids _stupid_ face. But most of all, Hinata made him feel like an idiot. And although Komaeda knew that he'd reap what he'd sown in the end, his heart wouldn't listen. He was no longer in denial; each time they’d tread the sidewalk, wan-washed by the streetlights, telltale glances and brushes of fingertips, they both know there was something more to Hinata's eyes or Komaeda's frown. It felt like they were wired, towed by Hinata's tenacity and Komaeda's denials. There was always something when they were together. A spark. He couldn't stop himself from letting it happen, and they both knew it. 

His walls were coming apart at the seams. He hadn't any idea what to do next and it dimmed the blue underneath his eyes. He was probably right.

He was an idiot.

...

The morning brought the snow closer. The noise of traffic sirens and street vendors were muffled by children forming snow angels and throwing around snowballs. The scent of burnt filter and newspaper reached all the way to the city sidewalks. The snow this year was getting colder and colder by the minute. Nowadays, it must be really wearying to keep warm. Thankfully, it wasn't something that Komaeda couldn't endure.

Only later, once Komaeda had plodded through four white-smothered blocks, he spotted Hinata by the school gates and caught his hopeful smile under the streetlight. Was he waiting for him? The notion brought a fluttery feeling in his chest. Komaeda made his way over to him, and they exchanged their morning greetings.

As they trudged through the snow together, Komaeda snuck a glance at his taller classmate. He was humming to himself, smiling as he looked ahead of him. When he caught Komaeda's gaze, he merely smiled as Komaeda flushed and looked away.

Did Komaeda return Hinata's feelings? If asked, he supposed that the answer would be yes.


	8. Advice

"Komaeda," Hinata began. "Is everything alright?"

A croak of long silence, and eventually, "You don't need to know," surfaced into the snow. Over the distant cityscape hung the sunset, a chaos of rose and amber impaled by monochromatic walls. Somewhere out there, there could be a place where Komaeda's face didn't have to be smothered by the dark and the snow. Maybe there was.

"But I need to," Hinata insisted. His hand urged for Komaeda's again. "What if... something happened and I didn't know...?"

"It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you keep..." Hinata fumbled for the words. "You keep... doing that."

Komaeda shrugged.

"Look, if there's anything bothering you... you can tell me. I'll listen."

"Nothing is."

"It's okay, you know," Hinata started, trembling as his nails dug into the creases of his palms. His lungs ached and wrestled for air, smothering all his words in cold-blanched anger, and maybe a little pinch of sorrow. "I'm not going to do anything that you don't want me to do. I'm not going to turn my back on you one day and tell you that I'm... I'm not... I'm not—“

Hinata meant to continue and emphasize out everything he said, that no, he's not going to leave him, he's his friend, Komaeda, you're so much more than that to me, but he found nothing else to go on with when Komaeda's hand intertwined with his. Cold, just as Hinata remembered his hand to be. But they fit just _right_.

"It's alright," Komaeda said. And maybe it was. Maybe Hinata was thinking too much and it'd all go away with Komaeda's stifled _you're such an idiot_  under his rare laughter. "Nothing is bothering me, Hinata-kun."

Although it sounded wrong in the back of Hinata's head, Komaeda's hand thawed his raging heartbeat, and warmth easily crawled all over his skin, his bones. It wouldn't matter if Hinata insisted, after all. Komaeda would keep hiding it anyway. But Hinata would keep chasing after the seconds and pry open the secrets under Komaeda's words. Perhaps he'd find an answer in the end.

But as he walked home, nightfall quickly routing children to go home and the beggars to crawl back into their cardboard shelters, the feel of Komaeda's hands lingered. It only made Hinata long for him even more.

...

Souda absolutely despised the cold. Every time winter came around, he always would have to wear at least three layers to feel slightly warm. Hinata, on the other hand, always seemed to be a human heater. In that sense, Souda was a bit jealous of him. He stretched on his mattress, yawning with lids hauled in sleepy bliss. The snow had subdued into tiny spots on their windowsill. Fishing for his phone on the nightstand, he retrieved it with a grunt and groaned at the time - quarter-past 8'o'clock, just minutes before he needed to get his Math homework done. Souda cried a little. Where was his best friend when he needed him?

The dorm room slamming open announced the presence of his roommate coming in. Souda sat up immediately, confused as he watched Hinata plop down on his bed. He waited a minute or two as Hinata just laid there, head buried in his pillow. The silence was getting awkward. Souda cleared his throat, trying to decide on what to say. “So, uh... is there a reason why you barged in here like that, or...?” he asked.

Hinata grumbled, rolling over onto his back. “Komaeda's acting weird,” he muttered, glaring at the ceiling. “It's like he's avoiding me and it's pissing me off.”

Souda hummed, grabbing a magazine out of his bag situated next to his bed. He opened it up to a random page, feigning reading it. “And? Is there anything else to that?”

"Well-" Hinata paused, sitting up and twisting the sheets in his hands. "I mean... It's not like he doesn't talk to me, but he's just keeping a distance from me. Like... like he doesn't stand next to me anymore, and scoots away from me when I get close to him. It didn't seem to be a problem before..."

"Maybe he's just conscious of you?"

"No way, it can't be that. He... I only held his hand," Hinata sighed, rubbing a hand through furrowed features in hopeless exasperation. "Why would he be conscious of me being near him?"

"Beats me. I don't know the kid. But whatever it is, I'm pretty sure he ain't doin' it for nothin'. Kid must be dealing with some problems that came up... or something."

Hinata messed his hair up, brooding. "I need to know what he's going through."

"Why?"

"Why?" Hinata scoffed. "He doesn't have anybody else to talk to, it's got to be me. I can't just leave him out in the corner and be oblivious to everything."

"Aw, man, there ya go again. Don't be such a sap," Souda chided, setting the magazine down limply on his pillow. "Look, I know you're worried and all, but I'm sure kid's pretty tough. He even doesn't give a crap about whoever talks trash at him - what can't the kid handle?"

"Being alone."

Souda frowned at him. "He's been alone all this time, hasn't he? It never seemed to bother him before," he pointed out.

Hinata opened his mouth to argue on that, but nothing came out. He didn't know how to respond to that. Was Komaeda bothered by being alone? That's something that he never gave a straight answer about. Hinata groaned, flopping back down on the bed. "But he has me now. He's... he's not alone anymore."

"Yes, yes, I know. You and your hero complex, geez," Souda complained.

Hinata sat up and glared at him. "It's not a hero complex! I just..." He looked down, eyebrows furrowed as a pain rose in his chest. "I just... want to be there for him when he's in a pinch. I want to protect him. I want to shoulder all his troubles, to help him. I just really, really like him so much... I..."

Something wasn't very right in Hinata's voice when it trailed off, dissipated into a groan that frightened the quiet afternoon. Hinata's face was a makeup of adolescent misery, of ruined first dates and unanswered love letters. But it was more than just that—a little more than just getting unnoticed by a little crush. He was being pushed away by a friend. His friend.

Yet, Souda waved it off with a snort and interrupted his woeful monologue. "Jesus Christ, man. Get over it. It's not like he's a prince stuck in a sky-high tower with a dragon warden."

Hinata's lips coiled into a wretched smile. "I'll be the knight to save him."

Souda flung a pillow at his face and begged for him to knock it off. Hinata stopped, aware, and helped Souda with his homework. They didn't discuss Komaeda again that night, but Hinata had thought about how it'd feel like to hold Komaeda in the dead of winter, all curling toes and sunken chins on shoulders and warm kisses.

...

Souda grumbled as he trudged down the snow-covered sidewalk. What was Hinata thinking, asking him to go out and buy him something at 10 at night? Doesn't he know how dangerous it is? What if he got mugged, or got caught up in some kind of gang fight? And then he'd have to go to the hospital, with a gun wound, and they'd have to perform surgery on him in order to get the bullet out. And there'd be blood everywhere, and it'd hurt like shit, and—

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a short figure on a swing set. Souda recognized him right away, of course. It was the creepy kid that Hinata always went on about, the one with the bad rumors surrounding him.

Souda shivered, from the cold and in fear. Maybe he should just forget that he ever saw him and move on. The kid was creepy, way too creepy for his liking. Not to mention it was nearly 11:00pm, snowing, and Souda was freezing his ass off.

Though his face was obscured by the snow, Souda could make out the subtle incline of his mouth. He was... frowning, as usual, but not _so_ usual. He looked different. The kid looked... sad. Lonely. Like he got left behind. Souda grimaced - if Hinata were here, he'd go right up to him and bother him until the kid spilled what was wrong. So, against his better judgment, he made his way into the deserted playground and over to Komaeda Nagito.

Putting on his best smile, though it looked more like a grin, Souda stood in front of the other. "Hey, kid."

Komaeda jumped a bit, startled by the sudden noise. He looked up at Souda, and frowned. There was a flash of disappointment in his features. "I'm not a kid."

"Sure you are. You're pretty short for a high school student."

"Is that so? You seem to be too stupid to be one."

They stared at each other. Souda tensed.

"Hey, hey, I ain't askin' for trouble. You got me there. That's a nice one."

Komaeda spared him a moment's glance, and went back to staring at the ground. "Go away."

"You've got a pretty nice tongue, you know."

Komaeda glowered at him and raised a brow. Souda raised his hands in guilty defense.

"I totally didn't mean to put it that way. I'm sorry."

Komaeda narrowed his eyes.

"Take it easy, man. I'm not doin' anything you don't want me to do. I swear. Let's just relax, yeah?"

A wind of long silence, and "Fine," eventually emerged from Komaeda's ire-laced face. The air between them stilled, breaking off the unease.

Souda lowered his hands warily. "I take you know me from somewhere."

"You're Hinata-kun's friend."

"That's right!" Souda grinned, a proud expression settling on his face. "Soul friend, actually."

Komaeda furrowed a brow.

"It means we're close," Souda sighed. "Real, super close."

"So,” Komaeda began, looking back at the ground. “What does Hinata-kun's 'soul friend' want from me?"

"Well," Souda said, settling on a vacant swing after brushing the settled snow off. "You looked a lil' down, y'know, so I figured I'd talk to you. What'd you do if you saw a creepy kid alone in the snow?"

"Leave them alone," Komaeda answered, feet skimming over a glob of white. "And pretend you didn't see them." Souda grimaced. _Man, was this kid hard to talk to_. He just couldn't see what Hinata saw in him. Then again, Hinata's taste in things were always strange.

"Nice try. But what if it was 11pm, and nobody ain't around except the creepy kid? Then what? Wouldn't you get a notion of some sort?" Komaeda opened his mouth to reply, but Souda cut him off. "You know what? It doesn't matter. So... whatever's got you thinkin'... just spit it out."

Komaeda's grip on the chain's holding up the swing tightened. He kept his gaze on the snowy ground, silent. Souda glanced at him every few seconds, waiting for him to say something. Did this kid really not trust people that much? He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling slightly awkward. Just as Souda decided he should probably leave, Komaeda spoke up.

“I... realized something... a few days ago,” he murmured. Souda hummed, encouraging him to continue. “For a while, actually, I knew. But I didn't want to admit it to myself. That I... like... Hinata-kun... more than a friend...” Souda nearly went into a coughing fit. “It's my first time actually... liking someone, so... I don't know how to act... And I know Hinata-kun likes me back, but...”

“Well, isn't that all good then?” Souda asked. “You like each other, and that's all that matters, right?”

Komaeda shook his head, eyebrows furrowing as he stared at the ground. “No. It's not that simple.”

“Huh? How so?”

“I...” He looked back at the ground. “Hinata-kun, he... deserves better than me. I'm not good for him.” His grip on the chain tightened again. “He shouldn't be with me.”

Souda scoffed. “Isn't that up for him to decide?” he asked. Komaeda tensed. “You're killing him, y'know. Being distant like that. He doesn't know what happened, or if he did something wrong. It's driving him nuts, and in return, it's driving me nuts.”

Komaeda trembled slightly. “But... but I don't know if I can—”

“Look,” Souda interrupted. “My bro talks about you all the time. I'll admit, it gets annoying at times. But he always looks really happy when he does it. Before you came along? All he did was hang out with me, do homework, hang out with other friends, do homework, watch movies, do homework, play some video games, etcetera. And I can tell he was lonely, y'know? He didn't really have anyone to connect to. Everyone he knows isn't into the things he's into. He has a weird taste in things, as I'm sure you've noticed.”

Komaeda nodded, a tiny, fond smile pulling up his lips. “Yeah. I know.”

“My point here is, you make him happy. And you two being together? It'll make him even happier, and I'm willing to bet it'll make you happy too. So I say go for it. 'Cuz, really, what have you got to lose?” Souda finished with a grin.

Komaeda let out a sigh, swinging back and forth slightly. “You have a point, I guess,” he muttered.

“Of course I do! I'm not stupid,” Souda exclaimed. Komaeda looked like he was willing to refute that, but decided not to.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, the creaking of the swing set the only sound filling the air. It wasn't awkward like before. Komaeda seemed to be deep in thought, staring up at the snowflakes falling around them.

"He's a big idiot, you know," Souda commented. “Hinata is, I mean.”

Komaeda's lips tugged up a little. "Yeah," he agreed. "He is. A big, dense moron."

"It once took him five minutes to stare at a CD he accidentally cracked until he realized it broke."

Komaeda let out a puff of laughter; a rare occurrence that Souda mourned for Hinata's absence. "What's with that... idiot..."

The two stayed in mutual silence, Komaeda staring at the clouded sky, and Souda observing Komaeda. "Take care of him, alright?"

Somehow, Komaeda looked amused and a little saddened by his request. His indrawn smile lifted up to his eyes as he turned his attention back to the ground. "An idiot like him won't find that necessary."

... 

“What took you so long, Souda?” Hinata whined, rolling on his bed. “It's like 11:30 now!”

Souda tossed the bag of store bought items onto Hinata's bed. He grinned, remembering how Komaeda had asked to keep their conversation a secret. “I saw a cat that needed help, is all. It was stuck up in a tree, so I decided to lend a hand.”

Hinata frowned, fishing into the bag for his chips. “Is that so? Was it hurt at all?” he asked, pulling it open.

“Nah. Just seemed to need some help getting down,” Souda answered, flopping down onto his bed and settling under his covers. “G'night, Hinata!”

“Yeah, 'night,” Hinata replied. Later, when Hinata got up to turn their lights off, he realized Souda had to have been lying. There was no way he would've been able to help a cat get down out of a tree.

Because Souda was allergic to cats.


	9. Jealousy

Hinata didn't understand. In the time he's known Souda, he's lied to him in a grand total of three times. He was never a great liar, of course, so Hinata knew right away he was lying. And generally, they were for a good reason. But this time, Hinata had no idea at why Souda would lie to him. Did something big happen? Did he run into one of his old friends from way back when he got into fights a lot? He didn't know, but it worried his nerves down into sporadic dots.

The possibility of Enoshima's involvement was likely, too. As much as Hinata didn't want to hold any grudges against the girl, she was a threat to anyone's affairs. The thought curdled Hinata's guts. Not again, he thought. Hinata already made it very clear to the girl that he didn't want to associate himself with her anymore, but he supposed she was _that_ interested.

Hinata sighed. And there was also the possibility of him overthinking. Maybe it was just something insignificant. Did Souda help an old lady cross the street and was too embarrassed to admit it? That was unlikely, but it was still to be considered. Or was it Sonia he encountered? No, Souda would definitely tell him if it was that. Their friendship was too solid for him not to mention Sonia.

With a groan of frustration, he plopped back onto his bed, covering his eyes with his arm. He was definitely just overthinking things. After all, if it was Souda lying, there must be a good reason behind it. Souda wouldn't lie for the sake of lying. He wasn't like Junko. So, Hinata believed him. They were friends, after all.

Hinata sighed. He really should stop jumping into conclusions.

Slumping against the pillow, Hinata turned over to face the walls. What was he going to do, now?

He fluttered his eyes open. It was dim, and he could only make out the lines and edges of the window's silhouette, but it must be close to daylight already. He probably wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. So he brooded.

Although a crush would sound like the most insignificant problem anybody could have, it was different between them. It wasn't just a crush; that would be belittling Hinata's feelings. When he saw Komaeda it ached Hinata’s bones and it rifted a shipwreck between his ribs when he smiled. And it hurt in the most wonderful way when he heard him laugh. And as far as Hinata knew, crushes were just people being shy around each other and blushing. There wasn't any spark.

But things have changed. Komaeda didn't smile, much less laugh. It was as if Komaeda's heart was stolen away. The thought made him furious. Who could’ve stolen Komaeda's heart? And were they the reason why Komaeda seemed so distant to him? It was too soon to jump to conclusions, though. Komaeda liking somebody else wasn't that unlikely, but...

Hinata just didn't know anymore what to do anymore. Were his feelings for Komaeda still just a crush? Did he perhaps care for him too much, like a brother? Or was he in―

The beep of the alarm clock tugged Hinata back to his senses. The last footfalls of moonlight crushed under the sun's tramp and sunk under the sunrise. It was morning already. Well, there went his chance to sleep. Thankfully, it was a weekend, so they didn't have any classes. Hinata looked out the window, the snow falling down at a steady pace as it covered the campus in a white blanket. Letting out a sigh as he sat up, he wondered if he should take a walk.

...

By the time Hinata returned, Souda was up and tearing apart the room. The desk chair had fallen back, clothes were scattered across the room, along with Souda's text books and work papers. As soon as Souda noticed Hinata's presence, he ran over and clung to him.

"Hey- get off me!" Hinata yelped out, wringing out of Souda's clutch. "What the hell's going on?"

"I lost it," Souda sniffled.

"Lost what?"

"My present."

"What?"

"My present!" Souda darted back to a corner, kicking a muddle of notes on the floor. "That cost me half of my allowance, man. And it was the last one in stock, too. Now it's just gone! Like, gone!"

Stifling an exasperated sigh, Hinata bent over and racked the papers up again. Aligning them in fixed edges and thumbing off the little crinkles and folds, he placed them on their desk for the and used a nearby DVD case as a paperweight. He sat down on the floor, right next to where Souda was lamenting.

“So? Do you have any idea where it could be?” Hinata offered.

“None at all,” Souda huffed, sitting down on his bed. He held his head, grimacing. “It was Sonia-san's present, too...” He faked a sob, falling onto his back. “What am I gonna do, Hinata?”

Hinata sighed. “You could just go out and buy another.”

“I told you, it was the last one!” Souda cried, pulling on his hat in frustration. “And I was fairly confident she would like this one, too!”

Hinata snorted, nudging his shoulder. "Oh, come on. I'm sure they've got another stock at the store.”

“It's the holidays, man. Stuff always runs out by the first week.”

“Liar. They always resupply a day or two after they've sold out."

Souda whined, burying his face in his hands. "I just don't know, man! What'll I do if they don't?"

Hinata rolled his eyes. “Buy a different gift.”

Souda huffed. “No.”

“Stubborn.”

“Well, what do you suggest?"

“We could go into the mall and get another? Y’know, like I've been saying?”

“Fine, fine. You win,” Souda grumbled, jumping out of his bed to get dressed for the cold weather.

"Good.” Hinata grinned. “I need to buy Komaeda a gift anyway."

Souda glanced at him. “You mean you haven't yet? Dude, what have you been doing?”

Hinata shot him a glare. “I've been busy with school work. Winter break's in like a week or so, and I don't want to have any homework to keep me from hanging out with Komaeda.”

A roll of eyes. “Geez, you and Komaeda, man. Why don't you just confess already?” Souda grumbled.

Hinata's face burst into a bright red. “I-I can't just do that!” he yelped. He looked down, fiddling with his jacket sleeve. “I-I-I mean―what if I did and he didn't like me back? O-or what if I confess to him and he just laughs at me? Or―”

Souda tried to tune Hinata out as he rambled on for the next ten minutes while he got ready to go.

...

Being streetwise, they opted for the alleyway route, so as to evade the crowded road. The noise of traffic sirens and street vendors was muffled by children playing and prowling cats' mews. Litters of cigarette stubs and broken bottles of alcohol were strewn over the corners. Nothing was special or memorable about alleyways, but years of treading through the crooks and sleeve-tugging beggars and low-priced shops have won their sentiment.

The monochromatic architecture of the city was hazed over with white plops of snow, ghosting along the air and streets like petals, once they reach three blocks. Souda was crooning a hackneyed English pop song or whatever that Hinata didn't really understand.

Hinata was on the verge of telling Souda to shut up or joining along with him when the mechanic whistled. He nudged at him with knowing eyes, and Hinata suspected he'd seen the pigtailed dancer with an irritating pout that constantly called Hinata a loser on the street, but when his eyes spotted a bespectacled boy with a black hood over his head, Hinata's voice caught in his throat.

"Hey! Creepy kid with the black hood!" Souda called out. Hinata's eyes screamed in terror when the figure turned, and it clicked into his mind that it was Komaeda. "Somebody wants to talk to ya!"

Although the streetlights were too dim, and the snow was cloaking passerby's faces in filmy grey, Hinata could still identify Komaeda's countenance hinted with tension through crumpled lids. His fingernails dug onto his wrists as ashen grey eyes met his.

"Hinata-kun? And..." He blinked in thought. "...Souda-kun… What are you doing here?"

Hinata paused. How did Komaeda know Souda? As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he shook it away. Hinata probably told Komaeda about Souda at some point. Or maybe they had a class together. Yeah, that would make sense. Just shut up Hinata, you're being paranoid and over thinking things.

"Oh, we're just headin' for the mall, y'know?" Souda chimed in. "Hinata's planning to give a little special gift to a special someone, actually. Riiiight, my man?"

Hinata snapped out of his thoughts. He shot a glare at Souda. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, sure you don't!" Souda's grin abandoned into a snicker. He broke out into a grin as an idea took form in his head. "Y'know what? You should hang with us for today! This is just plain old crap, y'know what I mean?"

Komaeda eyed him warily. "I... don't think that's a good idea."

"It's okay with us!" He elbowed Hinata with a grin, who cuffed him with a dark look. "In fact, Hinata would love for you to come along!"

Hinata's face turned red, and he tried to hold back the urge to push Souda. “I-I wouldn't... I mean I...” he stammered, caught in between denying and agreeing with Souda's logic. Man, the way Souda was trying - and unsuccessfully - hold back his laughter was _really_ grinding his nerves. “It'd be great if you came with us! You know what they say, the more the merrier.”

Komaeda looked at the snowy pavement, considering. “I... guess I wouldn't mind tagging along,” he murmured.

Souda's grin widened, throwing his arm around Hinata's shoulder. “Great! Then, that's settled!” he laughed.

As the three made their way to the mall, and through various shops, Hinata kept a close eye on Souda and Komaeda. It was strange. The first thing that was weird was that Komaeda actually acknowledged Souda's presence. Hinata thought that, if anything, Komaeda would ignore attempts that Souda tried to start a conversation with him. And yet, here they were, talking as if they were friends.

When had they gotten that close?

A fire of jealousy began to burn within him. This didn't make any sense. What happened between them? How did they become friends? When did they get close? Did something happen without my knowledge? A realization dawned on him. That must've been why Souda lied about him about the cat! He must've met up with Komaeda in secret!

What did they do? Was this some kind of secret relationship? Is that why Komaeda was acting so distant to him? Hinata's heart began to ache. Did... Did Komaeda like Souda? The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. That would explain everything. The distance, the lie, how they were so friendly...

Then, the ache turned into a burning rage. How could Souda do this to him? He knew that Hinata was in love with Komaeda! How could-

“Hinata-kun?” Komaeda's voiced snapped Hinata out from his overwhelming thoughts. He blinked a couple of times, trying to calm his emotions down. “You haven't been your usual annoying self. Are you alright?”

The words immediately had a calming effect on him. Hinata let out a small smile. He shouldn't worry Komaeda. “Yeah. I'm fine. Just... thinking,” he said. Komaeda eyed him disbelievingly. Hinata knew that Komaeda could probably tell he was hiding something. But Komaeda didn't need to know about his paranoia and jealously over Komaeda and Souda's sudden relationship. Instead, he turned to look at Souda. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Souda blinked, but got the urgency. “Yeah, sure man. I don't mind,” he agreed, a bit confused. The two walked over to the corner of the store they were in, leaving Komaeda to browse the various items they had.

As soon as they were far enough away, Hinata glared daggers into Souda. Souda recoiled back in fear. “What was that about?” he growled.

“W-what was what about?” Souda whimpered.

“You― you and Komaeda! What happened between you? Why are you so close? How could you do this to me, man, you know I like him-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there dude!” Souda yelped, holding up his hands. “There is absolutely nothing going on between me and that kid! We're acquaintances at best, bro! Calm down!” Hinata huffed, trying to get a hold on emotions again. “Komaeda asked me for some advice a couple days ago, when I went out that time.” Souda grimaced. “I'm sorry that I lied about the cat.”

Hinata frowned. “He asked you for advice? About what?” he grumbled.

“Sorry, dude, I can't say.” Souda glanced back over at Komaeda, then looked back at Hinata with a grin. “But you ain't got nothin' to worry about. No one's gonna steal Komaeda from you.”

Hinata blushed, nodding once. The two stood in an awkward silence as Hinata fell more and more like a complete and utter asshole. Komaeda was right, he really was an idiot. “Sorry, Souda,” he finally apologized. “I just...”

Souda waved it off. “It's fine, dude. I understand,” he said, patting Hinata on the shoulder. “I won't lie to you again, I promise.”

“We cool, then?”

“We cool.”

High five.

“I'm gonna go buy Komaeda a gift. I'll meet up with you guys in ten minutes,” Hinata said, putting his hands in his pockets.

“You sure about that, man? Komaeda and I will be alone. Who knows what could happen,” Souda teased.

Hinata just laughed. “I'm gonna trust you not to do anything. Because I'll seriously hurt you if you do.”

Souda grimaced. “I don't doubt it.”

“Meet you at the fountain in the middle?”

“Sure.”

...

After Hinata and them bought their presents, the three decided to hang out the rest of the day. Their afternoon was spent with a trip to the arcade and lunch in a well-spoken ramen shop downtown. Halfway through on the way home, they encountered a miniature flower shop. A honey-eyed girl, close to her twenties, saluted them with a bouquet of garden-fresh roses and chattered about a holiday discount of 20%.

When Hinata asked the florist something only she probably heard, Souda and Komaeda exchanged murky, brow-furrowed glances. This was a first - honor student, laid-back Hinata Hajime buying flowers. The girl looked entranced by the idea of a high-school student as her customer, humming while she sifted through tulips and sunflowers and wisterias doused in dew.

The girl returned with a posy of tearful white lilies. Hinata handed her a pocketful of coins, casting a clumsy smile as he collected the lilies from her. She bowed in an endearing fashion and bid them a Merry Christmas, waving brightly as they left.

"Here," Hinata said casually, handing Komaeda the lilies, who looked as if he's been given a time bomb. "They're for you."

"Huh?" Komaeda inspected the lilies in scrutiny and scowled at Hinata, confused. "For me? What for? Why?"

"Well, we were passing by when I saw them, and I thought they kind of resemble your hair so," he said, putting his hands in pockets, cheeks dusted with pink. "I thought they'd go along with you nicely... I guess?"

Komaeda flushed as he glanced up at Hinata. “....Thank you.”

Hinata smiled at him. “There's no need to thank me.”

“Oi, you two, stop flirting already! It's cold and I wanna go home!” Souda complained, arms wrapped around himself. The two blushed even further, Hinata yelling at Souda to shut up.

As they continued to trek back to their dorms, Komaeda decided that when he got home he'd put the lilies next to his bed.


	10. Anxiety

There was only a week left before winter break began. Hinata tried to spend every moment he could with Komaeda. Since their little shopping trip, the trio had hung out a little more on occasion, but Hinata always made sure to set aside times for just him and Komaeda. As the days dwindled down, Hinata would look back on only a month ago, when the two first met. They had gotten much closer than he expected. (Then again, he didn't think he would fall in love with Komaeda, either.)

Hinata wished he could spend the break with Komaeda. He tried to bring up the subject several times, but the words always caught in his throat. What if Komaeda rejected the idea? It was a silly notion to think of, but with Hinata's overactive mind, he couldn't help but worry about it.

There was always a possibility. A fear. And it kept holding him back.

But Hinata took an oath to himself, that evening, that he would take Komaeda Nagito out and into the world on winter break. He would make sure to do everything in order to keep it — no matter what.

...

The following day after school, Hinata took Komaeda to a bridge to "show him something cool." Komaeda had given him a look— _what do you need to even show me I've lived here longer than you have I've probably already seen whatever stupid thing you found_ — but Hinata just smiled, took his hand, and walked with him in the opposite direction of his home.

It was still light out, and the sun seemed like it would set soon. The two leaned against the railing in silence, watching the water flow beneath them. Komaeda snuck a glance at Hinata, who still had that idiotic smile on his face.

"How have you been?"

The sudden question took Komaeda by surprise, and he quickly looked away, face flushing. "Fine," he muttered. There was a long pause before he resignedly sighed. "I think you should ask yourself that first."

"Eh?" Hinata glanced at him. "Why?"

Komaeda scoffed, stopping briefly to glare right into Hinata's eyes. Hinata shrunk a little. Though he found Komaeda undeniably cute, there was always a frightening edge in his facade that made him a bit... intimidating. "You... keep acting like more of an idiot than you usually are."

His tone caught Hinata off-guard. Was that... disappointment he heard? "What gave you that idea?"

"W-Well," Komaeda began, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. "You... You usually don't ask me how I feel. You just... talk with me. About this and that. It's like... you're not Hinata-kun."

Hinata hummed in confusion. "Well, I'm still me. Isn't that what matters?"

Komaeda's eyes fell. "You are, but... you're not how I like Hinata-kun."

Hinata blinked, his face flushing. Was Komaeda really saying all of this? "How... do you like me?"

Komaeda's face slanted a little, eyes still downcast. "I miss you being the idiot I know."

They' were quiet for a while. The sun had already set, golden-chaff clouds shrouding the horizon like fumes. The water under their feet was sunburned, creating tiny ripples that wrinkled their reflections on the water. It was dim and bright and beautiful, and it lit Komaeda's face up.

"I miss you being yourself too," Hinata finally said. Komaeda didn't look at him. "You and I used to be a lot... closer. You even called me idiot all the time." Hinata laughed. "But now... I'm just... Hinata-kun."

"You still are," Komaeda murmured. "You'll always be an idiot to me."

A short intake of breath. "I really miss you."

"Me too," Komaeda said, and the world kept spinning around them. They were alone. "But I'm still here with you."

It was comfortable. Serene. Seconds turned into minutes, and the sun was finally beginning to sink over the horizon. The two watched, a mirage of purples and blues and hues of red and pinks painted the canvas called the sky. The river beneath them gleamed with the light of the sun, reflecting the colors brought on by the sunset.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Hinata asked, his voice but a whisper. And all at once, Komaeda realized this was what Hinata wanted to show him. A beautiful sunset. Komaeda's heart ached with the sudden rush of emotions that coursed through his veins. He reached for Hinata's hand, the small grip prompting Hinata to look at him. "Is something the matter?" A nervous tone, cautious.

Komaeda looked up at him, cheeks slightly flushed, a small smile resting on his lips. "Thank you, Hinata-kun," he murmured. "For everything."

Hinata's breath seemed to be stolen away. He couldn't figure out what to say. He opened his mouth, only to close it, cheeks heating up. "Th-there's no need to thank me..." was his eventual soft reply. They stayed in another silence, staring at each other. And slowly, little by little, their distances began to shift, and their shoulders were touching. Without another thought, Hinata leaned down, Komaeda closed his eyes, and—

"Hinata-san! Komaeda-san!"

The two immediately jumped away from each other, their cheeks on fire. Hinata felt like his heart was about to burst. What was that? What was that just now? Did they almost just...?

"Sonia-san? Gundam-kun? What are you two doing here?" Komaeda's voice brought Hinata back to reality. He blinked, turning towards the two that decided to join them. Did they see that Komaeda and him almost...?

Sonia was looking away awkwardly, while Gundam was acting indifferent.

Yep, Hinata decided, a mixture of dread and embarrassment pooling heavy in his stomach. They totally saw.

"Tanaka-san and I... came here to talk to you both respectively," Sonia said slowly, timidly holding Gundam's hand. "He came here for Komaeda-san, and I came here for you."

"Huh? What is it?" Hinata asked, trying to push the emotions from mere seconds ago to the back of his mind.

"Um," Sonia began. "I came here to talk about the... incident with Enoshima-san a few weeks ago."

Hinata's expression darkened. "I believe that's already... passed."

"Oh, no, no! I would just like to apologize on Enoshima-san's behalf," she said. "She can be too... interested with other people's businesses sometimes, but I'm sure Enoshima-san doesn't mean to harm anyone in any way! So... please forgive her."

Hinata paused, his expression set into a bitter scowl. "She... doesn't need to be forgiven. All that she said were just lies, after all."

Sonia frowned. "Is... that so? Well, then... thank you very much for listening, Hinata-san. I'll make sure she won't cause any trouble— at least, to you and Komaeda-san, from here on."

"Forgive me for interrupting your little discussion, but may I speak with the little one?" Gundam spoke up. Hinata bit his lip at the name, trying not to laugh. His efforts were visibly tense, and Komaeda glared at him, prompting him to stop.

"Of course," Komaeda muttered. "Shall we?"

Gundam ushered him to the end of the bridge, out of earshot of Sonia and Hinata. “They certainly have their charms, don't they?" she said. Hinata glanced at her, then back at Komaeda. "Komaeda-san is very cute, and his short stature is endearing." She giggled. "Though his personality can be a bit on the rough side."

Hinata smiled softly. "Yeah. I know.”

"Tanaka-san told me he's known Komaeda-san since he was... smaller.” Sonia suppressed a chuckle. "He said something about being in the same... kind as him, if I'm not mistaken. Though I’m not very sure what he meant…”

"Ah... I see..." Hinata mumbled, observing the two talking. They looked like they were discussing something pretty serious. Komaeda, in particular, seemed to look uncomfortable. Tense. Hinata felt... weird. Like he had a feeling something bad was going to happen. A sense of dread. 

"I'm sure Tanaka-san cares about Komaeda-san too!" Sonia suddenly said, surprising Hinata. She was looking at him like she was worried.

Hinata gave her a small smile. "I'm fine. As long as Komaeda's okay, I’m… happy."

Sonia returned him a knowing smile. One that said _I know how it feels_. “I’m sure Komaeda-san cares about you too, Hinata-san," she murmured, patting Hinata's shoulder a bit.

Hinata looked back at Komaeda and Gundam. "Thanks, Sonia. It means a lot to me.”

...

The two eventually made their way back over to Hinata and Sonia. Komaeda still looked... tense. His eyes were melancholic, and he was chewing on his lip. He was fidgeting with his sleeve, too. Hinata looked at him worriedly. "Let's go, Hinata-kun," he grumbled, taking Hinata's hand and leading them away before Sonia or Gundam could even say good-bye.

They walked in a heavy silence. Hinata could tell Komaeda was in a bad mood; he hadn't even let go of his hand yet. They just kept walking, step after step. "Are you alright, Komaeda?" Hinata finally asked when they got past the school gates.

Komaeda stopped for a split second. "I'm fine." Short, abrupt; venomous.

Hinata didn't say anything after that, and they continued to walk towards Komaeda's home in silence. Komaeda's goodbye was hollow as he slammed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [EDIT - 10/10/16]: The actual conversation between Komaeda and Gundam was deleted because it was outdated with the new and currently planned storyline. I apologize for any inconvenience.


	11. Confession

The snow had been falling endlessly the next morning. Hinata was too fidgety about yesterday to sleep last night, so he read a book until 4:00 a.m. The sleep he didn’t get kicked back at him when he woke up, and the light hurt his eyes. By the time he reached the school gates, though, he felt a little more awake.

Hinata felt his heart pounding as he rocked back and forth in his heels, fidgeting with his jacket sleeve. The snow that fell around the campus left blankets of white, gleaming in the sunlight that was filtering through gray clouds. Today, he was extremely nervous to see Komaeda. He'd been constantly thinking about what had happened the day before. He can't believe they almost kissed. It seemed like a dream, actually. Every now and then he'd just remember it, and his heart would start hammering in his chest.

_Calm down,_ he told himself, hiding his face with his hand as he took a couple of deep breaths. _You'll be fine. Just act normal, and not like some lovestruck idiot._ Despite his efforts, however, his heartbeat started racing frantically when he saw Komaeda walking down the sidewalk. He was certain that his face was as red as a pomegranate, but he couldn't help it. When he saw Komaeda, the memory from yesterday was clear in his mind.

He racked his mind for what he should say first. Should he greet him normally? That seemed like the best option. “G-Good morning, Komaeda!” Hinata stammered as Komaeda came up to him.

But Komaeda brushed by him, not even sparing Hinata a glance. Hinata's eyes widened as he turned around, watching Komaeda walk away from him. His chest suddenly felt heavy, his mouth dry.

_Did... did he not hear me?_ was the first thought to run through Hinata's mind. A sense of dread filled his heart. There was no way.

“Komaeda?” he called out to him, louder this time. Komaeda still didn't turn around. He didn't even acknowledge Hinata's presence at all.

Is he ignoring me? was the second thought to run through Hinata's mind, as he was left standing by the school gates in the freezing snow. But... why?

...

Two days. It has been two days now. Two days since Komaeda last talked to him. Hinata had no idea why, either. Suddenly, Komaeda just seemed... distant. It wasn't like before, where he'd give him vague answers and bored glances. It was more like he was completely ignoring him. Every time Hinata spoke to him, or tried to get his attention, Komaeda just brushed him off. Hinata couldn't stand it. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. It was slowly eating away at his conscience, irritating him to no end.

Hinata was hurt, too. As much as Komaeda didn't realize, he couldn't bear being apart from him. But this time, more than anything, he felt angry. If he did something wrong, why wouldn't Komaeda just say it it? Why wouldn't he speak up?

He wondered what he'd done to trigger this kind of thing. Did he say something careless? Did he offend him somehow? Or was it what happened between them on the bridge? When they headed home that day, it was clear Komaeda was upset. More than upset, actually. Hinata was pretty sure he'd never seen him like that before. It was a hard thing to consider, but Hinata figured Komaeda didn't want him to be so close to him anymore.

Hinata felt a little betrayed. Komaeda had told him that... he was _here_ with him. The way he said it made it seem like he was never going to leave him. He'd be with Hinata no matter what. But now here he was, sitting in class with his heart slowly being torn to pieces with every moment that Komaeda ignored him.

Now that he thought about it, everything has changed these past days. The snow had subdued for a while. Their sixth-period teacher wasn’t—at the least —his usual self, giving the class an extension for their essay. Komaeda wass literally ignoring him. But... why?

It was a few minutes left before class got dismissed. Hinata snuck a glance at Komaeda, hoping to catch his eye. He was just sitting there, reading a horror book Hinata told him about a month ago. To him, it was as if nothing was wrong. Did he just suddenly decide he didn't want to talk to Hinata anymore? That was hard to justify. Not that he was assuming anything, but it wasn't like Komaeda didn't like him before. From the way he'd call him idiot and invite him to watch movies, that wasn't very likely.

He didn't know what to do to get Komaeda's attention. He had tried everything. Calling out his name didn't help. And when he put his hand on Komaeda's shoulder, he just shrugged it off. It was killing him, not knowing what was wrong.

The bell rang, and class was dismissed. Komaeda quietly packed up his books, ignoring the whispers, and ignoring Hinata as he walked past him.

Hinata gritted his teeth, a sort of rage flaring up inside him. He wasn't going to let this continue. He'd even turn to force if it meant talking to Komaeda again.

...

Day three was the time that Komaeda finally looked at Hinata. Their eyes had met once in the hallway, if only for a brief second before Komaeda quickly looked away. It filled Hinata with a small sense of relief, but it wasn't enough. He had to talk to Komaeda. He needed to. It had only been three days, but to Hinata, it felt like months since he heard Komaeda's voice. He couldn't take it. He needed to know what was wrong.

At night, he tries to line the dots together - if it was a little slip of the tongue, Komaeda would've said something back. The rumors weren't enough to be a bad cause. Maybe Souda did have a secret relationship with Komaeda? No, that definitely couldn't be it.

Hinata rolled over for what it seemed like the hundredth time in his bed. Nothing was working out, much less making sense.

There must be a reason for this, he just knew. Was the universe trying to keep Hinata away from Komaeda? Or were they just not meant to be? That was… just not okay. Komaeda deserved to be happy. And if Hinata was given a chance, he'd definitely take it and make Komaeda feel loved. He'd do more than that, actually. He'd do anything.

Hinata sighed. Maybe Souda was right. Maybe he did have a bit of a hero complex.

The next day was shit. Their sixth-period teacher suddenly changed his mind and told them that due to "maintenance reasons" they had to pass the essay in two days. Everybody knew something came up and he just had to take it out on something. And of all the things he could've done it to, of course his job was the best option.

Other than that, the snow was raging at them like a hurricane. The windows was dotted with bundles of white, and Souda had to go to the infirmary to lie on a heater.

Komaeda still hasn't talked to him.

It was more than pissing him off already. Hinata felt like waiting, keeping it inside just for the sake of being logical, but he'd had enough. After their eyes met, it was like he tried extra hard to avoid Hinata at all costs. He didn't even spare him a second glance—his veins curdled with rage at the thought. He's endured three days - no, technically four, of complete bullshit, and Komaeda chose to act like he didn’t care. Fantastic.

It wasn’t that Komaeda wasn’t who Hinata wanted him to be. It was just exasperating knowing that he could waiting for nothing. Hinata wasn't a pessimist, but he can't help but think that he didn’t stand a chance against Komaeda. After all, even his faith and love for him wouldn't count if Komaeda didn’t return Hinata’s feelings. That was how cruel reality was.

So, he decided. He'd do anything so that they wouldn't fall apart.

As soon as class was dismissed, Hinata had asked him for a little talk. Komaeda could tell his intentions, of course. His instincts were sharp as always. What was surprising was that this time, when Hinata called out to him, Komaeda actually stopped for him. Not to mention he actually agreed to Hinata's offer. But still, his only response was a simple nod.

They walked past the creaking school gates, heading to a tight path down the street. It was starting to get dark, but the sun was still there. Hopefully nothing too dramatic wouldn't happen.

They arrived at the bridge Hinata showed Komaeda just three days ago. Hinata leaned on the rail—the precise spot where they almost kissed, getting a perfect view of the washed cityscape.

The clouds were a dreary blue, and the sun was a mess of rosy orange fleeting across the sky. It lit the city up from here, casting back on the tumbling river below. The blossoms weren't swaying; just still, like the world behind them. Not far off from the stretch of snowy grass was a flowerbed of droopy, yellow roses skimming over the water.

Hinata leaned on the rail. He couldn't calm down. What was he going to say? He didn't know; with things as they were, he doubted they would go back to being friends—right now, Hinata wasn't even sure if going back to who they were, as 'friends,' was what he really wanted.

He just wanted Komaeda. Nothing else.

"What's wrong, Komaeda?" Hinata began, heaving a sigh. His eyes wandered over Komaeda's expression; stoic, as per usual. But there was a hint of emotion in his features with the way his shoulders seemed to sag as he completely avoided Hinata's eyes. It irked him to no end. "What did I do?"

A passing breeze was only his answer. Komaeda stood by the opposite rail, silent. Maybe he was wondering why he did it, too. As the moments passed, Hinata's hands clenched into fists, gritting his teeth in frustration. Why wouldn't he just answer him? Why was he making this so difficult?

"You told me," Hinata said, a tremor in his voice. "You told me you were here with me, and _you_ —you said you weren't going to leave—“

Komaeda brought his hands to his sleeve, fiddling with it. His eyes glared at the ground, filled with regret and guilt; emotions that Hinata couldn't see. "I didn't say that."

Although it was a relief to finally hear Komaeda's voice, it did practically little to make his anger fade. ”Well, it sounded like you did! What's the _difference_ , Komaeda?" Hinata's voice raised up, breaking slightly at the end. He sounded so broken, it prompted Komaeda to look up at him. Their eyes met. _Admit it_ , Hinata's look said. _You know it too_. "Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? We're… friends, right? Didn't you say so yourself?"

Komaeda lowered his gaze again, eyes ferreting over the old, hardwood floor. It pained him to hear Hinata like this. But he had prepared himself. He told himself he'd throw his weaknesses away, he'd throw Hinata away. Yet he was making it so difficult. Komaeda didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what was right and what was wrong. Was there even a choice to begin with?

He sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't do this. Not like this. "I-I... I can't." His voice was only a whisper now, but it still burned Hinata's heart.

"Why, Komaeda? Please just tell me why.”

"You won't understand me, Hinata-kun," Komaeda whispered. Hinata narrowed his gaze into a glare. "Nobody will. You're better off trying to understand somebody else."

"Do you think there is somebody _else_?" Hinata said, swallowing a lump in his throat. He took a few steps closer. Komaeda only seemed to shrink further with every clunk of his shoes. "So what if I'm an idiot? That won't stop me from wanting to be with you. Nothing will."

_Even you pushing me away won't._

"Hinata-kun..." Komaeda murmured. It sounded more like a plea.

"How many times do I have to tell _you_?!" Hinata snapped. His emotions began to spill over, like an overflowing bucket. "There isn't anybody else, and there won't ever be! Look, I'm sick and tired of you ignoring me, okay? I just—I can't stand being apart from you anymore! I don't have any earthly concept on why you just started ignoring me out of the blue, but now it’s—it’s pissing me off! And since you won't even give me a goddamn straight answer, it's just pissing me off even more!"

Komaeda was fully backed up against the railing by now. Hinata slammed his hands down on the railing to either side of him. Komaeda was cornered, and he knew he couldn't escape anymore. Cautiously, he met Hinata's eyes once more, and was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of emotion flowing through them. Even if he tried to name them all, he wouldn’t be able to.

“If I'm doing something that's bothering you, then just come out and say it! Don't keep it to yourself. I... I can't stand hurting you. And if it's about the other day, I–I'm sorry, I—“ Something welled up in Hinata's eyes, and he ducked his head to hide the pain. Komaeda's chest hurt. "I don't want to leave you. I—I know that's selfish of me, but dammit, Komaeda, _I love you_!"

Once Hinata had said the last words, though, he quickly regretted it. Red quickly crept onto his cheeks and he chewed on his bottom lip in fear. It took a while for Hinata's lungs to find air again, but looking at Komaeda's face drawled time into decades. There was a transient, homely glow between them as the world held still, on tiptoes and tremors and thudding rabbit hearts.

“Oh…” Hinata backed off and looked away, mortified. “I’m— I’m sorry, Komaeda. I—“

“No, I…” Komaeda closed his eyes shut. His heart felt like it was beating a thousand miles an hour. The words rang through his head— _damn it, Komaeda, I love you!_ —but he couldn't convince himself that those words just left Hinata's mouth. It felt like he was dreaming. Could he say it now? His words started and stopped with a stammer, before his grip involved nails digging onto skin and bloodless knuckles. He ducked his head down, hiding his flushed face from Hinata's view. "I… I really… I really like you too, Hinata-kun.”

The words were barely audible, but Hinata heard them clear as day. And at once, a tidal wave of emotion washed over Hinata. Relief, disbelief, confusion, happiness. It was like his big rant had taken of the words he knew straight out of his mind. He stared at Komaeda, eyes wide, mouth hanging open slightly. Komaeda still didn't look at him, but the blush on his face was obvious. Time stopped for the both of them.

Hinata couldn't believe that this—this was the outcome of everything. He thought Komaeda had hated him. That the almost-kiss from the other day was a step too far, and because of that, Komaeda had grown to hate him. He couldn't even believe—

His mind stopped as Komaeda reached up and placed his hand on Hinata's. They dropped down together, their fingers intertwining. Hinata felt like his heart was going to fly out of his chest at any given moment. Maybe now... Maybe now he could ask. “C-can I…" A sputter punctuated his words. “Can I… kiss you?"

The only affirmation was a gentle nod of Komaeda's head. With his free hand, Hinata tilted Komaeda's chin, so their eyes could meet. The glow of emotion in his eyes made Hinata’s heart ache. He’d been wanting this for so long. His hand slowly moved to cup Komaeda’s face, and he leaned closer until their breaths mingled. Komaeda squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself for what was about to happen.

Hinata slowly leaned down, his eyes scanning over Komaeda's blushing face. From his eyes—he had long eyelashes, he noticed —to his small nose, until his gaze rested upon his lips. Was this really alright? Komaeda had given him the okay, but... it wasn't moving too fast, was it? Hinata's hesitation was apparently obvious as Komaeda opened his eyes slightly. “H-hurry up and kiss me, you idiot..." he breathed out.

Komaeda's words threw away all of Hinata's doubts as he gently pressed his lips against his. It was soft, chaste, a bit clumsy at first, and filled with the emotions they had for each other. Seconds seemed to last for years. Komaeda didn’t want to let go. He winded his arms around Hinata’s neck, tiptoeing to draw closer to him. Hinata pulled him close. Komaeda never wanted to let go of Hinata again. Never again.

It couldn't last forever, though. Hinata, too soon it seemed, drew back enough to rest his forehead against Komaeda's. His thumb stroked over the shorter boy's cheek, drawing out an embarrassed whimper. Their hearts were pounding, faces as red as a pomegranate. Komaeda slowly opened his eyes, looking up at Hinata's half-lidded ones. His voice was soft, shy, as he asked with a breathless stutter, “O-one more...?” And of course, Hinata relented. One turned to two, two turned to four, and four turned to eight, each kiss just as sweet and loving as the last. It was like they couldn't get enough of each other. And when they finally stopped and Hinata took him home, they walked together, hand-in-hand.


	12. Bonding

Hinata was still in a kind of trance when he made his way back to the dorms. He couldn't believe he had confessed, and that the feeling was actually mutual. And then they had kissed... It was even better than he had ever imagined it to be. After he walked Komaeda home, Komaeda asked Hinata if he'd like to come in. Hinata obviously conceeed, and the two had watched a horror movie together as they snuggled on the couch. When the movie was over, Hinata confirmed with Komaeda if it was alright to come over during winter break.

“O-of course you can,” Komaeda had stuttered. “It... it wouldn't be the same without you here with me...” 

Both of them blushed at the words. Hinata had given him one more good-bye kiss on the forehead before he walked out of the mansion. Immediately afterward, a wave of bliss came over him. It felt more like he was floating as he walked back to the dorms.

By the time he got back, he had frost all over his frame, but it didn't matter in the least. He saw Souda jump in bed as he swung the door open, and gave a sigh of relief at the sight of Hinata.

"Bro! You scared the shit outta me!" Souda berated. Hinata went to settle down on his own bed, not caring about how stupidly dazed he may have looked like. The words kept ringing in his ears. _I really like you too, Hinata-kun..._

"Uh, dude?" Souda snapped his fingers to get Hinata's attention, his brows tucked together. "You mind explaining where've you been?"

"Komaeda's," he answered.

"Yeah. And what about the creepy little kid? I thought you two weren't talkin' to each other."

Hinata didn't reply, but kept the grin on his face. Just saying it out loud was enough of a challenge for him.

"Wait." Souda's jaw hung open. "Wait... d-did you... did you...?!" Hinata hid his face with his hands, hiding the blush that was crawling to his cheeks. He nodded once, confirming Souda's suspicions. Immediately, Souda clambered to sit beside Hinata. “How?! What happened?! Gimme the details, man!”

Moving his hands to clench at his pants, Hinata began to explain to Souda what happened mere hours ago. The confrontation that lead to the confession, how Komaeda said he liked him back - Hinata's heart raced, just saying it out loud - and how they had kissed and walked home. His voice was shaking in happiness, and he had to pause every few seconds to calm himself down enough to continue speaking coherently. Explaining everything it to Souda just made it feel even more real. 

When he finished, Souda gave him a hearty pat on the back. “Congrats, bro! You finally did it!” The two laughed together, pure bliss surrounding the two friends as they talked in the late night.

-

The snow had stopped falling when Hinata woke up. He sat up in his bed and stretched out his arms, his muscles tense from sleep. Winter break finally had finally came, meaning Hinata would be able to spend as much time with Komaeda as he wanted to. A kind of excitement pulsed in his bones. He'd be free for a whopping three weeks, without any homework to worry about.

Jumping out of bed, he slunk towards the window and peeked out. He saw a few streetlights lit, along with a couple of people passing by the pedestrian walks. Traffic lights blinked between green and red as cars and motors drove on the frost-paved roads. The city wasn't completely awake yet, justified by how quiet and bare it looked just from this view.

Still, the sunrise wasn't something he couldn't notice. A marvel of clashing rose and orange soared in the sky, lighting up the sleeping city. It was the only thing that could make a city seem so bare and quiet. Hinata had seen many beautiful sunrises, deviating from a simple splash of yellow and a chaos of colors, but with the awareness of Komaeda in his life, he thought it might've been the most beautiful he'd seen so far.

Suddenly having the urge to drop by Komaeda's, he grabbed one of his jackets from his and Souda's shared closet and set out, carefully closing the door so as not to disturb his sleeping roommate. Hinata figured Komaeda must be awake by now.

He walked down the quiet, but busy street. Snow crunched under his tread. Some girls from Hinata's class encountered him and greeted him cheerfully. A flock of birds chirped on top of a streetlight, drifting off to join a couple of other chicks. Hinata smiled a little. Things have been brightening up since that day, it seemed.

He was on Komaeda's doorstep by the time the sun had risen, veiled by a wall of clouds. With Christmas coming closer, the days got colder; little light shone through the roofdecks and streets with snowy floors, and the clouds were always in the way and kept the sun from shining on the ground below. He rang the doorbell once. It didn't take even moment for the doors to swing open; Komaeda was already there, looking up at him with bored eyes. He had subtle bags under his eyes, and the faintest hint of a smile twitched across his lips. "Hinata-kun."

"Good morning," he said, returning the smile. "Were you waiting for me? You answered the door really quickly."

"No," Komaeda said. "I knew you'd come, being the idiot you are. I just... didn't want to keep you waiting." Komaeda blushed as he said the words, but he shook his head, as if to brush his fluster away. "I-It doesn't matter. Now come in. Don't wait for the snow to cover you up."

Hinata gave a soft laugh. “You don't have to tell me twice.”

-

The bleak morning had rose to a spirited afternoon, with yet another horror classic to fill in the seconds. The snow was falling once more, frost etching obscurity on any glass structure it could find on Komaeda's house. The film ended with an old picture of an eyeless girl, before red mottled the entire screen for the credits to roll in. Komaeda seemed tired from watching, as he almost immediately turned the TV off once it ended.

"Feeling sick again?" Hinata asked, placing his hand on Komaeda's forehead. Hot.

Komaeda nodded, looking like he might faint at any given second. His fever had visible influences on him - his eyes were raw and lidded, and the sharp incline of his mouth suggested he wasn't just feeling upset. Without much of a word to say, he leaned his head on Hinata's shoulder, his voice scratchy as he spoke. "Bed," he'd muttered, almost inaudibly. “Sleep.”

In spite the coiling worry in his gut, Hinata couldn’t help but let a smile lift his lips up at how open Komaeda was with him. No, open wasn't quite the word - honest, perhaps? At the very least to say, when Komaeda was sick, it felt like he needed someone to lean onto at any moment, and Hinata was the kind of guy who'd be more than happy to offer his shoulder. He'd already told him that it was his 'disease' that weakened his immune system, but what about it? Was he always withdrawn with people and only open when he was sick?

But looking at him now, peacefully asleep right next to him... he had doubts Komaeda was easily open to just anyone else, even when he was sick. A kind of protectiveness flowed in his veins. Komaeda opened up only to him. Komaeda trusted only him.

Brushing his thoughts away, he slowly propped Komaeda up in his arms, and carried him upstairs to his bed, making sure he wouldn't just drop him so recklessly. His tiny stature made him easy to carry, though. He tucked the blanket over him and sat by the bedside, broodingly looking at his...

Boyfriend?

He flushed. Maybe it was too early to assume. Hinata didn't want any risks of causing a wobbly relationship; he didn't just sell his entire courage out to Komaeda that day simply for what some people in his class called a dating game. Still, wasn't a relationship based on taking risks and demands? As much as he wished to keep a safe distance from possibly upsetting Komaeda, he didn't just want to hold hands while they walked home together. If he'd had the opportunity (and the right timing) he wanted to take him out; make him see what he wanted him to see for so long.

Wow. Since when did Hinata get to the point of being so contemplative over relationships? For the first time since he'd met Komaeda, he has admittedly faced the ridiculous truth about himself. Hinata Hajime was lovesick. Awfully lovesick.

Grumbling to himself, he frowned at how his mind got so easily involved in such things. Sure, he had this bad habit of overthinking, and eventually he'd jump to conclusions and misunderstand what people actually meant. It was an infinitely irking part of himself that he knew couldn't be replaced or fixed; it was just there, like it was meant to be. Hinata hated it. And it caused him a great deal of fights, too - from ones that got his knuckles rent with blood to his parents lecturing him an earful.

Hinata reached a hand and placed it on Komaeda's cheek. A shudder writhed into his veins at how soft his skin was. His fingers drifted to the curve of his bottom lip and traced them, almost reverently. Much to his surprise, Komaeda churned in his sleep, and shifted perfectly enough to let his lips meet Hinata's hand. It took his breath away, and he stared at Komaeda, wide-eyed, like the idiot he was. Anything that involved Komaeda touching him on his own accord had easily made him overwhelmed, and that just made him twice as flustered. But then again, who could blame him? Komaeda was too cute.

...

Evening came when Komaeda finally woke from his sleep. He awoke with a yawn, tiredly reaching for his glasses to see Hinata by the bedside, already waiting for him with a smile. Was he watching him in his sleep?

"Hey. Good evening," Hinata whispered, his voice soft, face lit with affection. Komaeda's heart skipped a beat at the adoring smile he always wore, but he didn't make it show. "Did you sleep well?"

Blinking away the sleep caught in his lashes, he managed a curt nod. "You don't need to ask me if I did. You're not my nurse."

Hinata gave him another smile; half-apologetic and half-playful. "Well, it's my job to look out for you, as your classmate. I've got to make sure you're okay." His hand reached out, patting Komaeda on the head. “Not just as your classmate, of course, but also as the person who loves you. Get better soon, alright?”

Komaeda's face lit up like a stop light, immediately remembering his delusions from the last time he was sick. His heart pounded in his ears, almost as if it was trying to burst out of his chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Ah, Hinata truly had made him into an idiot.

So, instead of replying normally, Komaeda dismissed him with a snort. He sat up in bed, noticing the bruise-colored sky from his window. He'd have trouble getting some sleep much later, and he'd be tossing and turning at night for hours, waiting endlessly for morning to come. As he thought about spending a long night, his headache worsened. So much for getting better.

"Is something wrong?" Hinata asked.

"Nothing," Komaeda said, almost automatically. But a small twinge of guilt formed in his chest as he thought about the decision he made several days ago, and bit his lip. "I just... I won't be able to sleep easily tonight, because I took a nap. That's a long night for me."

Hinata was silent. He looked like he was trying to remember something, and looked away - flushing a moment after he did so. A tiny smile cracked on his face, and he hid his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly. Was Hinata laughing at him?

"W-what are you laughing about, y-you idiot?" Komaeda demanded, puffing his cheeks. "T-there isn't anything funny about what I said!"

"N-no, it's nothing about what you said!" Hinata burst out between shaky laughter. "I-I just... remembered something."

"Oh? Was that you being an imbecile?"

Hinata smiled, finally composed. "No. I already know that because of you."

Komaeda burned further. "Just... say whatever stupid thing you remembered."

Hinata's gaze averted to the floor, his smile gentle, shy. "I... was just wondering if you'd like to hang out."

"O-of course I do," Komaeda said, his heart suddenly aflutter. "Aren't we hanging out right now, you idiot?"

"No, I meant..." Hinata stopped for a moment, before he mustered his will to speak again, though his voice was barely a murmur. "I was thinking if you'd like to go out with me. On a... a date."

"Oh." Komaeda looked down at the dark blue sheets that covered him, fidgeting with his hands. His ire quickly faded, "S-sure... I-I'd like to, but..." He pictured what their classmates would make of Hinata. "I don't want them to do what they did to me to you."

"They can't mess with me," Hinata said. "If they try to mess with you, I can and will mess them up."

Komaeda lowered his gaze, a frown making its way on his face. He didn't know if he could argue with that anymore - Hinata was too stubborn for him. "Alright," he said lowly. "I... let's just stay out of trouble, Hinata-kun."

Hinata smiled. "Of course."

-

Hinata went home early, eating dinner with Komaeda before he went for the door and kissed him goodbye. The street was dimly lit, his only guide the scant streetlights scattered in his way. He arrived at the dorms by 8:45.

Souda was texting someone (Sonia, he suspected) on his phone rather intently, merely giving Hinata a simple wave as an acknowledgment once he got to their dorms. Hinata glimpsed over what Souda was saying, before he forced a hand against Hinata, shoving him away.

"Dude, don't look at it! It's confidential between me and this... this girl!"

Hinata raised a brow. "What? You’re double-crossing on Sonia now?”

"No, no! It ain't Sonia-san!" Souda pulled his phone closer to him so Hinata wouldn't see, a doubted expression on his face. "This girl just offered free information for Sonia-san, y'know? Not that I wouldn't miss it."

"Free... information?" Panic rose in his throat. He heard the same word before, and it was when... "Wait, is that Enoshima? Don't trust her! She's trying to fuss trouble around, you can’t—“

"Hey, hey man! Knock it off!" Souda waved his hand in front of Hinata, causing him to jolt. "It ain't Enoshima, alright? Just some random chick in my other class! Uh... Celestia Luden-something. She's close with Sonia-san! ...Or, at least, that's what she said."

"Celestia?" Hinata repeated. "There's another foreigner besides Sonia here?"

"Nah. Must be a fake name or somethin'. Chick didn't look that convincing, y'know? Just some lolita girl with some mad hair-do going on. And creepy eyes," Souda cringed. "Eh, but she didn't look like she was playin' when she said she's close to Sonia-san. Looked pretty happy when I verified."

"I see..." Hinata sighed. "That scared me a bit, though. I don't want the same thing to happen again."

"Yeah," Souda said, patting Hinata on the shoulder. "Don't worry, man. I gotcha. Ain't nobody gonna snag Komaeda from you."

"I hope so."

Souda made a face, looking as if he was about to lecture him about having doubts, when an idea lit up. "Wait. Why don't ya tell the kid you're, ah... boyfriends?"

Hinata blushed the darkest red, almost losing his capacity to speak. "W-wh-what?"

"Y'know, boyfriends!" Souda beamed. "That way nobody will steal him from ya. He's all yours! Y'know, and you can even get to marriage quicker!"

"W-we aren't getting married yet!" Hinata yelped, trying to compose himself. "A-and besides... d-do you think he'd even agree...?"

"Well, he said he likes you, didn't he?" Souda shrugged. "Why don't ya give it a try?" Hinata knew Souda had a point, but he made it sound so much more easier than it actually was. But, he figured, it wouldn't hurt to try.

-

Hinata stopped by at Komaeda's late in the afternoon. He didn't need to ring the doorbell; he knew Komaeda had been waiting for him, as he promised he'd stop by again. His fever had, unfortunately, shot up to a 102. He lumbered slightly as he led Hinata to the living room, and Hinata kept fearing he would trip and bang his head on the floor. But, judging from how he hopped into the sofa rather safely, perhaps he was managing himself well.

"So what do you want to do today, idiot?" Komaeda asked, his voice scratchy.

"Well, you have a fever. I don't think going out would be a smart idea, so a horror movie is fine."

Komaeda nodded, letting out a yawn as he reached for the abandoned blanket he left a while ago to fetch Hinata. He shivered slightly as he nestled himself in the covers, and Hinata felt his heart skip a beat at how adorable he looked.

"I'm fine," Komaeda said, weakly. "It's just... cold..."

"Oh, that's not what I blinked at," Hinata clarified, biting back a chuckle. "You're just too cute, y'know?"

Komaeda burned, giving Hinata a bashful glower. "I-idiot..."

Komaeda settled into the warmth of the couch, nuzzling himself within the covers. After a while, he rested his head on Hinata's shoulder, but didn't close his eyes. Hinata thought he was about to go to sleep when his classmate spoke up abruptly.

"Hinata-kun," he called out. Hinata turned to him with a raised brow, a smile on his face. "A-ah... c-could I ask you something?" Hinata simply nodded. "D-do you..." Komaeda sat up slightly, fidgeting. "Do you like... someone else?"

"No!" Hinata said quickly. “I—I only like you. Why do you think otherwise?"

"N-no, it's not that kind of stuff I meant. U-um..." Komaeda lowered his gaze, a prominent blush crawling its way to his cheeks. It made a pleasant contrast with his pale skin, Hinata noticed. And how he bit his lip too. Maybe it was what made him so cute. "I-I was just wondering i-if we were going to..."

It took a moment of Komaeda's fidgeting before it clicked in Hinata's mind. "Oh," he uttered. "Well, I-I'd like to make it special, y'know? You're sick, and it's cold outside, and I want to go somewhere you really like, but I don't know where yet—“

"No, that's not what I meant either..." Komaeda muttered. He seemed to shrink at every attempt he gave to make Hinata realize. "I mean... if we are what people... y-you know... i-it's okay with me..."

"Oh," Hinata stuttered. He fidgeted with his sleeve, uncertain of how it'd sound like if he said it. "A-are we... ah..."

To his surprise, Komaeda simply nodded, as if he was only waiting for Hinata to get what he was implying. "Y-you can call me your boyfriend, i-if you'd like."

That was too much for Hinata to contain, and he pulled Komaeda close to crush him in a hug. His classmate writhed under him, embarrassed, but didn't push him away. "I love you," Hinata murmured, his smile never disappearing. "I love you so much. Thank you for everything, Komaeda."

Komaeda flushed, grabbing onto the fabric of Hinata's jacket. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Hinata's accelerated heartbeat. It was a calm, soothing sound to him. "What are you thanking me for? I haven't even done anything, idiot."

Hinata chuckled, pulling back slightly so he could look Komaeda in the eye. "That's not true at all. You decided to trust me. You had finally let me in when all you seemed to do was push me away." Komaeda felt a pang of guilt, but quickly brushed it away. Hinata leaned down, resting his forehead against Komaeda's. Komaeda's heart raced, cheeks heating up even further as Hinata closed his eyes. A warm hand found its way to his, their fingers intertwining. "It's all thanks to you that I'm feeling this happy right now, Komaeda."

Komaeda squeezed his eyes shut, a smile threatening to play on his lips. "That..." He tried to say something, but his mind was running in a thousand directions all at once. He felt... happy. So incredibly happy. He never even knew he was capable of feeling so joyful.

He realized he should be the one thanking Hinata, not the other way around. Hinata was the one who barged into his life, hung out with him, stuck up for him, and accepted him. His wall was crumbling down, and it was all thanks to Hinata.

However, it was still there. The hanging fear, the anxiety that ate at him from the back of his mind. He took a step back, but he refused to push Hinata away again. No, Komaeda had that resolved in his mind the moment he said I really like you, too.

But... could he really trust Hinata? Would he really stay with him even if he told him? "I..." He tried again, but the words died on his lips just when he'd decided to say the rest. No, Komaeda thought. He can't know. Not yet.

Without anything left to say, he leaned farther down so the top of his head would meet Hinata's chin. He felt Hinata move to brush his lips against his forehead, and he felt the guilt swelling in his chest wash away. Hot air rose from his cheeks as he drew closer and closer to Hinata, clinging onto the shared warmth of his blanket and Hinata's hug. Maybe it wouldn't cost him too much to give him a chance. He'd felt an almost unbearable guilt to trying push Hinata away again, after all that.

Komaeda made up his mind. He'd give Hinata a chance. But he would watch himself - he'd keep them both on their toes. He wasn't sure if letting him know would make their relationship stronger, or shakier yet. That was something they'd both have to see for themselves.


	13. Comfort

With Christmas closing in, the city was starting to get festive. Frost buried the city in white, shop and home owners put up decorations, and the people set out to offer passerby's a taste of color with street-side musicals and designer goods. Hinata didn't have any time to appreciate trends. He poured out all of his time with Komaeda, who got closer and became more and more open to him with each passing day. He smiled a little bit more, but still kept his bashful side. When it got cold, he'd scoot closer to Hinata and rest his head on his shoulder a few times, and quickly mutter an apology, which Hinata would simply laugh adoringly at.

Aside from the sunny side of Hinata's life, he kept his woes in a bottle. Even though Komaeda was his boyfriend - he still had trouble believing it, it was like a dream come true - he had completely no idea at all where he'd take him for their first date. Well, technically not completely, but he didn't want to settle for ordinary places like arcades or cafes. He wanted to make Komaeda happy; enough for a smile to reach his eyes.

He couldn't just ask Komaeda those questions straight, though. There was no way he'd do anything like that. It was too embarrassing. Just thinking about it made his cheeks light up like a Christmas tree.

So, instead, what Hinata did was collect advice from magazines. He only read them when Souda wasn't there, of course; he quickly flipped from page to page, glancing at the door occasionally to check that his roommate wasn't about to catch him in one of his most compromising poses yet. He had a few close calls, and it seemed like Souda was getting suspicious, but thankfully he hadn't commented on it.

Sunday moved by slowly. Cars drove past talking crowds as they left footprints in the snow. The traffic wasn't as congesting as it was yesterday, allowing citizens to walk by with ease. Along the streets, musicians did their work to enliven the quiet, drawing a herd of listeners in. Hinata was one of those people to appreciate the calm of the outside as he walked to Komaeda's.

It was almost becoming a routine to him - get up early, change, and walk all the way to the mansion. Maybe this year wouldn't be as bad as his previous ones - trips to the counselor's office, getting into verbal fights with his parents, his busy social life. This year would be different, and he was looking forward to it.

Komaeda was, as always, there the instant he rang the doorbell. He greeted him a mumbled "good morning" as he closed the door, ushering him upstairs. He was starting to get used to how gloomy this place was - and oddly in place. Not a speck of dust was seen on any furniture, and the walls showed no sign of yellowing. It was almost like a castle under some kind of preserving spell.

"Are you the one who cleans everything?" Hinata asked on a whim. "It's just that nobody's been here except you, and... it's like everything is still in place."

"Well, I am the only one who lives here, imbecile," Komaeda grumbled. "And no, not really. It just doesn't like to get untidy, is all."

"What do you mean it doesn't like to get untidy? Do you mean this place is... acting on it's own will or something?"

"Something like that," Komaeda said, the barest hint of a frown on his face. "To say the least."

Hinata didn't say anything else. There was still more about Komaeda to know, it seemed. And he had a feeling it wasn't just family history. But, Hinata was sure Komaeda would tell him all that when he was ready. He didn't want to push and make Komaeda uncomfortable.

They reached Komaeda's bedroom. The same pile of clutter graced the room; Komaeda's crinkled bedsheets, a few opened books on his desk with a lamp flowing wan light onto the pages, and finally, the half-opened door next to the adjacent bathroom. It was a side-room of some sort, Hinata figured a long time ago, but he didn't know what lied past the door up to this day.

"I'm sorry that I have to delay our... date... again..." Komaeda murmured, blushing at the word. "But I feel a bit lightheaded, and I don't want to have you bend down and check if 'I'm okay' every minute. So I hope you're okay with staying in for a horror movie again."

"I'm cool," Hinata said, messing Komaeda's hair up. "I get to be with you, and that's all what matters to me."

Komaeda huffed, his cheeks puffing. "Just... wait for me to feel a bit better so I can set it up, okay?"

Hinata shot him a handsome smile and nodded. The two talked for a bit, Komaeda resting in the bed while Hinata wandered around the room. His eyes, however, continuously glanced at the side room door. He was so curious about it, a continuous nagging at the back of his mind. "Hey, what's in this room?" Hinata finally asked as his curiosity reached it's peak. He tried to catch a peek of what was inside, but an alarmed yelp from Komaeda prevented him from doing so.

"N-no, don't open that!" Komaeda tensed, sitting up in bed immediately. An embarrassing kind of fear scrunched his features. His hands twisted the sheets that covered him as Hinata sent a curious look back at him. "Just... just don't open it!"

Hinata opened his mouth to say alright, that he'd ignore it, but it was too late. The door swung open - almost by itself - to set free a sea of oceanic plush animals, tumbling on the carpeted floor. Hinata's eyes widened as he saw every kind of sea animal on the floor - sharks, seals, turtles - and a whole lot more along the mess. Ah. So this was what Komaeda was hiding.

"I-idiot!" Komaeda leapt out of the bed to smack Hinata on the arm repeatedly, his face a maddening shade of scarlet. "I told you not to open it!"

“I-I didn't! It opened on it's own!” Hinata tried to defend himself between wheezes of laughter. Komaeda's faced burned with mortification, grasping tightly onto the fabric of Hinata's jacket. Man, Komaeda just seemed to get cuter and cuter with every day. "So, you... like sea animals?" Hinata asked quizzically, a stupid grin cracking on his face.

Komaeda ducked his head in embarrassment. "Y-yes, I do! Now shut up!” he growled, backing up and hiding the blush on his face with his arms. “N-now clean them all up right now or you can't kiss me for the whole day!"

Hinata fixed them all up in less than three minutes, horrified at the thought of not being able to kiss his boyfriend. When Komaeda calmed down and saw his that his plushies were all back inside of the side room, he went back to bed, apparently in a sulky mood.

"Are you happy now?" Komaeda grumbled, pouting at Hinata. "Now that you've seen whatever's in that room?"

"Well... yeah," Hinata said, rubbing the back of his neck. He shot Komaeda a sheepish grin. “I mean, thanks to that, now I know what makes you happy, too!"

Komaeda huffed, still keeping his glare on. "Y-you...!” he began, his face heating up. But as he took in Hinata's smile, his ire calmed into a dull anger. “You're really... such a moron."

-

Komaeda's fever faded once two hours had passed, little talks echoing on the dimly-lit walls. They sat on the couch, with Komaeda's head resting on Hinata's shoulder once more, as they watched yet another horror film. Hinata muttered an expletive when he had a jump scare every now and then, but didn't yelp or rant at the screen like he had used to. Komaeda almost missed his more silly side.

The movie ended after an hour and a half. They sat there, in a solitary kind of silence as the credits rolled in slowly as the movie's theme played. It was Hinata who spoke up first.

"Did you like it?" It wasn't a question that would get them far in conversation, but the silence that had settled over them was a tad bit awkward. _Better than nothing_ , Hinata supposed.

"It was fine," Komaeda said blandly. "Substandard for my taste, I suppose."

“Substandard? Why's that?"

"Too much gore. And they weren't so good at the drama part. The writing was bland and the plot was way too easy to guess, compared to other movies."

"I see.” Hinata hummed in thought. “But... didn't you get scared at some parts too?"

"I flinched when the doll came to life, but I didn't yelp like an idiot." Komaeda cleared his throat, shooting Hinata an amused look. Hinata chuckled. Having an inside-joke with Komaeda was a good sign, he thought. It meant they were close enough to share their own kind of humor.

Komaeda yawned, scooting away from Hinata to glance at the clock. It was 5:15; the sky had dimmed into a cloudless evening, and a streak of reddish-yellow light crossed all over the floor. A sunset.

"I-I feel better now, actually," Komaeda said out of the blue. A rosy blush tinged his cheeks. "S-so... um... t-thank you."

"It's no problem," Hinata said, giving him one of his princely smiles. Komaeda flushed further at that, and fidgeted with his hands.

"H-Hinata-kun...?" Komaeda began nervously. Hinata hummed, a questioning sound. "I-I....” Komaeda fiddled with his jacket sleeve, trying to bring up the courage to say what he was feeling. “I... I'd like to watch the sunset with you, if... if you wouldn't mind...”

Hinata's eyes widened slightly, a blush making it's way to his cheeks. This was rare. Komaeda was actually initiating. It made Hinata's heart sputter with happiness; it was overwhelming. Putting on his best smile, he took Komaeda's hand.

“Of course I wouldn't mind,” Hinata whispered, bringing Komaeda's hand up and pressing his lips against the back of it. “Whatever you'd like to do, I'd be more than happy to go along with.” Komaeda's face burst into a bright red. His heart felt like it was about to explode. Komaeda felt so overwhelmed by the emotions that filled his chest, it made his heart ache with such a bittersweet feeling.

They headed for the bridge quickly. The sunset was still glowing once they got on the bridge, a place that reminded them of good and bad things alike. Hinata leaned on the rail like he always used to, and observed the flushed sky. In spite of the weather snowing under the city, there were still days that allowed them to appreciate sunlight. Today was one of those days, especially with Komaeda being here with him.

"Is it your first time watching one?" Hinata asked. He leaned his head on his arms, sending Komaeda and adoring expression. A vein of flaxen light gilded Komaeda's face, contrasting his pale skin beautifully. "A sunset?"

"No," Komaeda murmured. He turned his attention down at the river below them, the water reflecting the sunset's figure in a hazy shape. "I... used to watch them all the time, with my parents. When... when they were still here with me."

Hinata didn't fail to notice the sorrow in Komaeda's tone. He straightened up, reaching for Komaeda's hand and clasping it tightly, as if in reassurance. He didn't say anything, but gave Komaeda a sincere look of I'm here for you. It wasn't an expression of pity, but comfort that he'd be there to catch Komaeda if he'd fall along the way.

Komaeda's cheeks heated up; he really cursed how easily he blushed in Hinata's presence. "Thank you, Hinata-kun..." Komaeda said simply, voice soft and shy. "Thank you for being here with me."

Hinata felt a certain pride, and a wave of love that washed over him. Noticing that the sky was fading, he leaned over to peck Komaeda on the lips. He did it out of a cloying idea, hoping to imitate those kinds of sunset-screen scenes like in films. Yeah, he was lovesick. But he couldn't blame himself for having his heart stolen, couldn't he?

The good mood was getting to Komaeda, however. It affected his mind, his reasoning, as he reached up around Hinata's neck and brought him back down. Their lips met once more, and Hinata's surprise was apparent as he didn't respond immediately.

Komaeda knew this wasn't him, this sudden boldness wasn't who he was. But he couldn't help it. Especially with how Hinata's arms wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer as he tilted his head for a better angle. A little whine sounded in his throat as Hinata's hands rubbed his back. Komaeda never expected this - this overwhelming affection just from being with the one you loved. From holding hands with them, embracing them, kissing them...

Panting, the two parted for air. Hinata looked a little dazed, his eyes lidded as his arms continued to hold Komaeda close to him. They had only been officially together for a few days now, but it seemed so much longer than that. Komaeda looked up at him, giving him an honest smile. Hinata's heart skipped a beat at the sight. It stole his breath away, especially with the way the setting sun reflected in his eyes.Captivating would be the only way to describe it.

After what seemed like ages, Komaeda released his hold around Hinata's neck, Hinata letting go of Komaeda as well, as he backed up slightly. His heart still fluttering in his chest, Hinata grasped Komaeda's hand once again. "Let's go home,” he murmured, unable to stop himself from smiling.

Home. How long had it been since Komaeda had ever thought of that mansion as a home? Brushing the thought aside, Komaeda returned the smile, and squeezed his hand. "Of course."

After that, the two hung out for a while longer. The saying “time flies when you're having fun” especially applied here, as Hinata came back at the dorms barely in time. He bribed the dorky guy on watch to do his break homework as an exchange for letting him in, and luckily he didn't put up an objection and agreed to Hinata's terms. Monday didn't give him much time to spend with Komaeda, because he slept late and he had a whole awful lot of researching and page-turning to do for the homework he offered to do.

Tuesday was better. He woke up early to finish the last etches of the two-paged essay, and slunk out of his room to dispatch his "homework" to the guy on-watch. They shook hands, exchanging knowing glances that this would be a secret between them.

He went straight to Komaeda's, but noticed an advertisement for an aquarium that had been put up on the school gates. Having a bright idea, he beelined for the building.

-

He got to Komaeda's at 12:30 am drenched in his sweat and breathless. The ticket counter was three floors up, and two of the elevators were out of order. Unluckily for him, there was a crowded line just waiting to get up, and he just couldn't keep Komaeda waiting anymore. Then there was an extra three blocks for him to run for.

"What took you so long?" Komaeda asked, his ire evident in his scowl. Hinata could be mistaken, but... did he hear a hint of longing, too? "I... I've been waiting for you... y'know..."

A smile pulled his lips up, and he fumbled for the pair of tickets he'd bought for them. He took it out, showing it to Komaeda proudly. "For this."

Komaeda's eyes widened at the ticket and practically squealed in delight. He didn't give Hinata enough time to recover from his surprise as he leapt at him to give him a hug, tiptoeing slightly to balance himself. "Thank you, Hinata-kun! I really appreciate it!"

"Y-you're... welcome...?" Hinata said, in a barely coherent tone. The excitement in his veins surged in, slowly, as he just took in what happened. Komaeda had... squealed. That was a first. The words kept ringing in his head until he burst out laughing, alarming Komaeda slightly.

"W-what are you...?" Komaeda was about to say, pulling away from Hinata. Then, he realized it, too. He flushed, and glared at Hinata with the intimidating edge of a baby seal. "I-I...! I mean, w-what are you laughing for, y-you idiot?!"

Hinata tried to control his laughter, though only hardly succeeding. "N-nothing!" he giggled. "You're just-"

Komaeda backed up, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Don't even say it! J-just shut up! That... that didn't happen, okay?!"

Hinata chortled, pecking Komaeda on the cheek as he looked at him, still amused. "Alright."


	14. First Date

Hinata kept checking the clock on the wall for the appointed time Komaeda was supposed to meet him. His nerves were keeping him on edge. It was their first date, after all. He was already getting jumpy about bad-luck scenarios that could possibly once Komaeda had arrived. What if there was a long line to get in and time ran out before they wasted too much time? What if Komaeda got a fever again and fainted? What if Komaeda didn't come at all?

Standing alone in a train station, he did his best to push his worries away. He was in public. Plus, it was their first date. Of course Komaeda would arrive. The way he got excited just from seeing the ticket made the chance that he changed his mind slim. He would come. Hinata was sure of it.

He shot glances in every direction, hoping to see his boyfriend amongst the sea of faces. It had been exactly six minutes past the time they were supposed to meet, and he was beginning to worry about what could've happened to Komaeda by now. The fact that the snow was acting up again wasn't helping, either.

"I'm right here, you idiot."

Hinata's heart nearly leapt into his throat at the sound of Komaeda's voice. He glanced down to see him, clad in a black scarf and his usual bat-flapped jacket with his hood up, slightly flushed from the shivering cold.

"What took you so long?" Hinata sighed as he held Komaeda's hand, frowning at how cold it was. "I got worried, you know."

"Obviously, like the idiot you are," Komaeda said wryly. "I'm fine. It's just cold."

Hinata said nothing else. That was a natural reason to delay a date - it wasn't anything he couldn't help, after all. But he was still worried.

They got to the waiting area where they stood in awkward silence. He knew by then it was just his tendency to get strained over little things, but he couldn't curb them. He just didn't want something bad to happen to Komaeda. That was fine, right?

Hinata was going to try to tell Komaeda about his cold hands to lighten the damp mood when the train screeched to a halt, announcing the sixth stop for the day. They walked onto the platform and settled for two seats in a vacant row, by the opposite doors. Not too many people were around, aside from a jet-lagged guy on the row beside them and a couple of businessmen in hats. Hinata didn't mind.

It was their second stop when he noticed Komaeda blowing into his knuckles, trying to get some feeling back. Hinata took his gloves off and handed it to him.

"No, I-I'm fine..." Komaeda refused shyly. "I-it's going to come back after a while..."

"Take them," Hinata urged, looking at Komaeda in the eye. "I want to keep you warm."

Komaeda hesitated, but took them anyway. He put them on only to see it was too big for him, looking funnily in his too-small hands. Hinata tried not to laughed, but it proved difficult to keep it in.

"S-shut up..." Komaeda flushed, covering his face in his hands. Hinata smiled. Maybe he wouldn't wash his gloves for a while once he got them back.

There was minimal conversation between the two during the train ride. Komaeda began to doze off, his head nodding up and down as he tried to stay awake. “You can lean on me, you know,” Hinata offered. Komaeda glanced at him, his eyes lidded with drowsiness, as if he was debating whether or not to take him up on it. To Hinata's joy, though, Komaeda eventually rested his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes.

“I'll wake you up when we arrive,” Hinata whispered to him, his voice soft and soothing. Komaeda merely nodded, unable to reply, before falling into the depths of unconsciousness.

-

It was early afternoon once they arrived at their stop. Hinata was a little reluctant about waking his boyfriend up, his sleeping face making the task difficult. But he had to do it. "Komaeda?" Hinata murmured, shaking him on the shoulder slightly. Komaeda stirred, and made a groggy noise as an answer. "We're here. You said you were hyped for the aquarium, remember?" Komaeda awoke with a start. He blinked a couple of times, and took Hinata by the hand, running off from their seats.

They got to the entrance without a hitch - the place wasn't that crowded, giving them sufficient space to move around. Lining up to surrender their tickets wasn't a problem, either. Everything was falling into place. Komaeda was definitely excited - Hinata could see it in the gleam of his eyes, and the way he fidgeted in place.

Komaeda was practically beaming when they finally entered the aquarium. It was an interesting side to him; like he was a little kid. He took Hinata by the hand and dragged them to all sorts of exhibits. Komaeda taught him all different kinds of stuff about the ocean - especially the deep sea.

“The angler fish is one of the most interesting fish of the deep ocean. To me, at least,” Komaeda began. “It lures its prey in with a dangling light - kind of like a fisherman does. The prey sees that light and thinks its food, and when it gets close, the angler fish swallows it whole.”

Hinata listened attentively the entire time. He had no idea Komaeda was this enthusiastic about this kind of stuff. They continued to whole hands throughout the impromptu tour Komaeda was giving him. Hinata, himself, had never been all that interested in the ocean. But Komaeda's excitement was infectious. He found himself wanting to learn more, to see more, as they went from exhibit to exhibit.

They stopped for a rest in front of a giant ocean fish tank. Multitudes of different kinds of fish swam in it, as well as sharks and sea turtles, and even sting rays. The two sat on a bench up on the upper floor where they could get a better look at the tank. Komaeda had calmed down some by that point, but his grip on Hinata's hand was tight as ever.

"Thank you," Komaeda murmured. "I... I really appreciate you doing this for me, Hinata-kun."

Hinata let out a soft laugh, squeezing Komaeda's hand once. “You give me too much credit,” he said. “I just wanted you to enjoy yourself.”

Komaeda glanced up at him, his face flushing. He leaned against Hinata, resting his head on his shoulder. “My parents brought me to this aquarium all the time,” he murmured. He felt Hinata grow stiff, obviously remembering that Komaeda's parents were dead. “Mom and dad were usually busy with work, so they weren't home often. But they always made sure to keep me happy and healthy. So, they'd always take off at least one day a month just to spend the whole day with me. They let me pick where I wanted to go, and I'd always choose the aquarium. I don't really know why I love it so much. The ocean just fascinates me. There's so much in there that's unknown, waiting to be discovered. My parents knew that I liked it, so they never questioned me about it.”

Hinata lowered his head. He was happy that Komaeda was opening up to him, but... he couldn't ignore the way Komaeda's hand would grip his tighter at every mention of his parents. “They...” Hinata began, trying to piece the words together. “They must have loved you a lot.”

Komaeda let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes. “I suppose they did.”

Hinata bit his lip. Was this really alright? The mood wasn't ruined or anything; it was still there, but it had taken a sad direction. He gave Komaeda's hand a squeeze. "Komaeda, I..." he trailed off, his mind trying to piece together what he could say next.

Komaeda lifted his head from Hinata's shoulder, looking at him. "... What is it?" he asked.

Hinata turned to face Komaeda, eyebrows knit together in determination. "I love you, Komaeda. More than anything in the world. You know that, right?"

Komaeda's face burst into red. "Wh-what are you saying all of a sudden?" he asked, beginning to scoot away in embarrassment. But Hinata stopped him by holding onto his shoulders, prompting Komaeda to meet his eyes again. They were filled with love, affection, worry; all kinds of bittersweet emotions that made Komaeda's heart feel like it was going to burst.

"I want you to know that I'm always here for you, Komaeda," Hinata said. "You'll always have me by your side, no matter what. Even if things get chaotic and hectic, I'll always be here." His hands traveled down Komaeda's arms, grasping at the smaller hands that still had his gloves on them. Hinata leaned down, eyes lidded. "I told you before, didn't I? I won't leave you. I promise."

How could Komaeda forget? Even though that day in the library seemed like a century ago, it still rang clear in Komaeda's mind. "H-Hinata-kun... I..." I believe you. I already threw my doubts away and decided to trust you. You don't have to worry about that anymore. So why couldn't he say it? Why was he still so hesitant? He could trust Hinata. He knew he could. Then why was he holding back?

"Komaeda," Hinata mumbled, snapping Komaeda out of his thoughts. "I really want to kiss you."

Komaeda's cheeks burned. Now wasn't the time to start questioning himself. He could leave that for later, when they weren't in the middle of a date. His eyes darted around. Most of the people that came to see the exhibit were on the level below. There were a few others on their level, but none of them were paying attention. "O-okay... But just... just for a little bit..." he murmured.

Hinata firmly pressed his lips to Komaeda's. There was no room for hesitation or pauses as Hinata's lips moved actively against his boyfriend's. Komaeda grabbed onto Hinata's jacket, overwhelmed by the amount of passion Hinata was pouring into him. It made his chest ache with so many emotions it practically hurt. He loved Hinata. He loved him so much. But he couldn't say it.

He wasn't there yet.

With that thought, Komaeda pulled back, panting. Hinata wanted more, that much was obvious, but he recognized that that was enough for now. He sat up straight, one hand still holding Komaeda's. "Shall we look around some more?" he offered. Komaeda's head was still slightly dizzy from the amount of affection he just received, but he nodded nonetheless.

-

It was six when they left the building. It was still cold out, but it wasn't as bad as it was before. People were starting to clear out of the aquarium, since it closed its doors at 8:00 pm. The silhouettes of tiny apartments turned black under the sky, which let anyone walking by question if there was anything looming.

The train ride back was quiet between them, but they didn't mind it. Komaeda rested his head on Hinata's shoulder again, though he didn't fall asleep. It made Hinata wonder what he was thinking about. His parents? The date? Or maybe it was something Hinata didn't know about yet? Even though they were dating, Komaeda was still such a mystery to him. He was still secretive and never told the entire truth.

However, Hinata could tell that Komaeda was finally opening up to him. Before, he would have never talked to Hinata about his parents. Hinata still didn't exactly know why Komaeda didn't tell him they were dead from the start, but he supposed that he had his reasons. Maybe one day, Komaeda would open up to Hinata and tell him everything. He wasn't going to pressure him or anything; he wanted Komaeda to tell him on his own accord.

"I had fun," Komaeda said, clutching at Hinata's hand tightly as they both left footprints on the frost-covered road guiding home. His voice snapped Hinata out of his thoughts. "Thank you, Hinata-kun."

Hinata looked down at him. Komaeda's voice hasn't changed since he brought his parents up, but he seemed a little sad now. "Do you want me to stay longer?"

"Isn't that what you told me from the start?" Komaeda grumbled, looking away from him. "S-stupid..."

Hinata laughed as a winter breeze past by. They reached home once it was six-thirty, and just as he promised, Hinata stayed in for the next few hours. Komaeda wasn't really in the mood for a film, but he was fine with what Hinata opted for anyway. They snuggled up on the couch together, discussing little things that held no particular meaning. These were the times that the two of them cherished most. When they could just waste time together, staying in the here and now.

But at some point, Komaeda grew quiet, like he was thinking hard on something. Hinata noticed this, and immediately asked what was wrong. Komaeda looked up at him, studying Hinata's worried expression, then closed his eyes as if coming to a decision. He leaned further against Hinata, whose cheeks flushed.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda began. “Would you like to meet them?”

Confused, Hinata stared down at Komaeda's messy white hair. “Meet who?”

“My parents.”

Hinata felt his stomach drop. “M-meet them? Uh...” He pulled back as Komaeda sat up, studying his expression again. “You mean visit their... um... their graves?”

Komaeda nodded once. His eyes lidded as a frown made its way onto his lips. “I haven't visited them in a while; I never really had a reason to.”

Hinata could see his shoulders shaking. "Are... are you alright, Koma-"

"I'm not about to cry on you," Komaeda said, cutting Hinata off. "I… I just want to tell them that I have… someone now." Hinata felt his cheeks heat up as his heart began to race. Komaeda took his hand. "Will you come with me to a flower shop tomorrow?"

Hinata nodded, his hand squeezing Komaeda's slightly. "Of course I will," he said, a smile on his lips.

-

Sleep didn't come in easily for Hinata that night, though. He was happy about their date, of course; even now, he felt light as he thought about it. He didn't want Komaeda to know, but he stole a few pictures of Komaeda smiling at fish tanks and looking elsewhere when they sat close together. Hinata felt like scrolling through them, but he didn't want to give that kind of impression to Komaeda's parents.

Komaeda's parents...

Something about them unnerved him. Not that he thought they were secretly bad people - he actually believed that they were the opposite. After hearing about visiting their graves, Hinata suddenly felt being watched. He couldn't even think about anything - he felt that, if he did, Komaeda's parents would see through his thoughts and grant him a stroke of bad luck.

What's worse was he didn't know if they even liked him. What if they actually thought he wasn't good for Komaeda and did something to separate them? What if -

_Hey_ , he heard his inner voice speak. _They're dead._

Hinata's train of thought stopped. The windows were slightly open, making a raspy creak as a gust of wind slipped through the crack. It was cold; Hinata shivered a little.

His phone lit up with a message from Komaeda. Picking it up, he squinted through the glow of the screen.

_> > Wake up early tomorrow. Don't keep me waiting._

Hinata smiled, a somewhat heavy feeling in his chest. Komaeda texting him was a rare occurrence. With practiced precision, he typed a swift reply.

_> I'll be at your house at 6:30. Don't worry._

After that was done, Hinata’s consciousness slowly began to drift. At two-thirty, Hinata was sound asleep. His phone lit up again with a new message, but it wasn't received.

_> > Goodnight, Hinata-kun._


	15. Mourning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS!!!! FINALLY!!!! HERE!!! I'm so sorry for the crappy title, I'll think of a more fitting one in the future. ;-;

Hinata got up an hour early this time, sorting out the most decent clothes he could find in their disorderly closet. Some of Souda's junk-shop clothes were limply dangling from the hangers, and his socks were getting confused with the "FOR SCHOOL" and "BUSY" labels.

He took up a lot of the space here, since he had a habit of collecting beanies and gloves he bought from cheap garage sales. Stuff that he wouldn't actually use in the future. It was a bad habit. He needed to sell or give those away soon.

Come 5:40, Hinata was already set to head out for Komaeda’s, sporting yesterday’s winter coat over a navy blue sweater.

By the time he got to the mansion, Komaeda looked as if he hadn't slept. There were dim circles under his eyes, and his hair was a little more disheveled than usual. Unlike the Komaeda who slept in the infirmary and read horror novels in between break hours, he looked a bit… hollow, if that was the right word. He didn't even try to keep eye contact; his gaze was transfixed onto the doorstep, as if it was ready to open up and swallow him whole at any given moment.

"Are you alright?" Hinata asked, pulling Komaeda out from his little daze as he gave his hand a tug, from which he slightly jolted. They only had their first date, and yet…  "You can rest for now if you weren't able to last night. We can go tomorrow, or whenever you feel better."

"I'm fine," Komaeda said, his words terse. He started walking towards the path without so much as giving Hinata a gesture to come along. "Let's go."

Hinata frowned. "Are you sure?"

Something close to resignation marked Komaeda's features as his eyes met Hinata's. "Yes. Let's go."

Despite his worries, Hinata hurried along to walk with Komaeda. A snow-cold gush shot up his nerves as he felt the numbness of Komaeda's fingers. Did he stay up all night? Hinata wondered. What was he doing?

Contrary to his first belief, their little trip was quieter than Hinata thought. The trains weren't crowded like before; only a couple of businessmen were occupying the seats today. Hinata felt a strange sense of déjà vu from looking at them; were those businessmen the same ones from yesterday’s date? Or were men in suits just such a common sight in Tokyo these days?

Brushing the thought off, Hinata went back to his main focus: Komaeda. Throughout the train ride, Komaeda had been drifting in and out of sleep. Every now and then he'd hear him mutter "mom" or "wait," and the grip on their hands would slacken only to tense up a minute after. Hinata was starting to think the other boy was pushing himself to go see his parents' graves. Hinata grew more and more worried, eventually voicing his unease.

"Yeah," Komaeda said, almost robotically. "I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"You've been drifting in and out of sleep, though," Hinata reasoned, his hold on Komaeda's hand gentle and warm. "Are you sure you don't want to rest?"

"I'll be fine."

"Alright. Just... tell me when you want to rest some, okay?"

"Hinata-kun, I can handle myself."

But even that wasn't enough to slip off Hinata's worries. Sighing in defeat, he gently scooted closer to lend Komaeda his shoulder. If there wasn't anything much he could do in this situation, this was the least he could offer. Being for him.

-

It was already noon once they’ve arrived at their stop. The cemetery was just a block or two away from the station. Black, elegant gates covered the snowy field, the faded petals of cherry blossoms falling and flurrying every now and then. It truly was winter.

The tombstones were rowed by baskets of varying flowers, though they were mostly shades of whites. Snow blanketed over the mowed grass, giving the place a sorrowful feel. An old couple was sitting on a bench which was facing a grave near the entrance. They were praying.

Komaeda ushered Hinata to his parents' grave, which was situated at the second to last row. A slightly faded portrait of a young married couple was placed on top of the stone, next to a lit candle just about to die out. Komaeda's parents' names were engraved on the stone in elegant detail.

Komaeda took the time to gingerly place the white carnations that they bought next to the portrait. As he tended to the blessings on the grave, Hinata took in every detail of Komaeda's parents. They looked fairly young in the picture, so he guessed they must have been married around their early twenties. Komaeda must've been born a little after their marriage.

Komaeda... What was he like when he was a kid? Was he a lot more open and livelier? Or was he quiet and secretive just like he is now?

Hinata shook his head. Thinking about these things wouldn't be quite discreet in a place like this. He softly cleared his throat, and began.

"U-uh, hello." Hinata grimaced at how awkward that came out. "My name is Hinata Hajime. It's a pleasure to meet you. W-well, you might already know, b-but... I'm going out with your son..." He felt himself flush a deep bright red. "I-I really like him, and I want you to know that I'll make sure I'll make him happy… and safe and warm and loved. Not only today, but in the future too. S-so... I hope you both welcome me.”

Komaeda stared at Hinata in disbelief. That idiot... His parents were already dead, so what was the need to "welcome him"? He heaved a hushed sigh, and considered Hinata carefully. He... trusted him. He knew he was different, and all of his gestures—from the stuttering to the blushing, they were genuine. But why couldn't he do it...? Why couldn't he let Hinata have him all to himself?

No. He knew why. He just couldn't tell him the true reason yet.

Komaeda shook his head. This wasn't the time and the place to think of these things.

"U-uh, Komaeda?" Hinata's voice jerked Komaeda back to his senses. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah." Komaeda sighed. "I was just... reminiscing."

Hinata blinked. "Reminiscing...?"

Komaeda nodded. "I just..." He shied away from Hinata's worried gaze, his face obscured by his hood. "I told you I haven't visited them in such a while. It's been months, from what I remember. In April, my birthday." Komaeda gave a strange snort. "But I didn't expect to visit them again with someone else. I... I didn't even remember how hurt I felt when I last visited them. I-I thought... I thought I'd already numbed the pain. The pain of losing them... of having to celebrate my birthday alone... Without any birthday cakes or any greetings. Without having anyone. Without feeling anything but pain. But it's all coming back..."

Hinata opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by a faint sniffling sound. Alarmed, Hinata immediately bent down to check Komaeda's expression, but the other boy shook his head, prompting Hinata to draw back.

"I-I'm not about to cry on you," Komaeda said, despite the sniffling and his hoarse tone. "I... I've dealt with this before. I... I-I'll be—"

Hinata pulled him into a tight hug, cutting off his sentence. Komaeda fidgeted in his embrace, but Hinata was adamant in not letting him go. "Hi-Hinata-kun..." Komaeda swallowed heavily. "Why-"

"It's alright to cry," Hinata murmured, stroking Komaeda's back. The effect was immediate as Komaeda began to relax in his arms. "I'm here for you. I told you before, didn't I? I'll never leave you. I'll always be here for you."

A choked sound escaped Komaeda's throat as he brought his hands up to grasp tightly onto Hinata's coat. And then Komaeda broke; like a pipe leakage, his tears began to pour, treacherously streaking down his cheeks. He pulled Hinata closer, his hands trembling into fists, knuckles going bloodless and nails jabbing into soft, frail skin. Then he felt a dull pain in his hands, the familiar feeling of blood escaping from his palms, but he didn’t care - it did little to numb the nasty wound that he himself had just opened, too deep for anyone to stitch back up, less even stop the bleeding.

Komaeda pulled back, panting, his head hung-up in chaos. He could hardly breathe from all the emotions he was feeling.

“Komaeda?” Hinata’s worried voice felt like scalpels in Komaeda’s chest. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Komaeda could barely utter. “I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“Alright, alright,” Hinata said, still worried, stooping down to look at Komaeda closer, clearer. “Can you say something other than ‘I’m okay’?”

Komaeda struggled to breathe, but eventually got out an answer: “I’m.... fine.”

Hinata sighed, thumbing away Komaeda’s tears. He kissed Komaeda’s forehead, cupped his face and looked into his eyes earnestly. They were raw from all his crying, but that didn’t change how lovely he looked to Hinata.

“Listen, Komaeda,” Hinata started, his fingers finding a home in Komaeda’s. “I don’t really understand what’s going on, but... I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I always will. And I will keep you loved and safe from anybody who will ever try to hurt you in any way. Because I love you. And that won’t ever change no matter what.”

Komaeda stayed silent for a while, but his brooding expression made it clear that he completely understood what Hinata just said. Acknowledged and accepted, that Hinata wasn’t so sure, but he knew that Komaeda had heard his words.

“Hinata-kun, you’re...” Komaeda sniffled. “You’re...”

“...an idiot?” Hinata grinned.

Komaeda heaved out a shaky laugh. “No, you’re a _big_ idiot.”

Hinata’s shoulders slumped down in a pretense of dejection; head hung low for a full effect. One could barely make it out, but Komaeda’s lips were turned up in a humble, yet a particularly affectionate smile.

-

When Komaeda finally said that _maybe_ he wasn’t feeling well himself, Hinata felt both relieved and dismayed - relieved that Komaeda wasn’t being so distant and spacing out was finally taking care of himself somehow, dismayed that he was, well, sick again. They retraced their steps back into the mansion, and arrived there at around 2:00pm. The snow has calmed down a bit, and so they were able to get in without shivering too much.

They were in Komaeda’s bedroom yet again, a setting that Hinata has grown to be fond of. The wrinkled bedsheets, the pile of books on Komaeda’s desk - he must’ve been reading ghost stories, Hinata supposed, or maybe a book about fishes – and Komaeda’s presence in the room.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda called weakly. Hinata immediately rushed to his boyfriend’s side, patting his head to check his temperature. He felt warm, although Hinata had a feeling Komaeda’s fever would worsen soon.

“Yes?” Hinata had sat on the carpeted floor to have a better look at Komaeda.

“Th... thank you, again,” Komaeda said, struggling to speak properly. A red blush crept onto his cheeks. “F-for… Everything.”

“Y-you don’t have to mention it,” Hinata said, smiling sheepishly. There was something meaningful buried in Hinata’s smile, one that was beyond mere joy or affection. He playfully messed up Komaeda’s hair, smiling gently at him. “Just get better soon, alright?”

Komaeda made a low, halfhearted noise of ire at the affectionate gesture and weakly glared at Hinata, who slightly flinched.  “Fine,” he muttered, shifting to nestle himself in a comfortable position. He rested his head on his little hands, which were clasped together. Then he said, “Stay with me.”

And so Hinata did. Hinata waited until Komaeda fell asleep, and cautiously sat on his bed, making sure he wouldn’t wake Komaeda up. He gently ran his hand on Komaeda’s hair, slowly moving to caress his face. Komaeda’s sleeping face was so comforting, for some reason. Seeing him so at peace calmed Hinata down.

It wasn’t long before Hinata felt drowsy himself, that he fell asleep on Komaeda’s bed too; in a matter of time, his arms unconsciously found Komaeda’s short frame, laced around Komaeda’s waist in a protective, almost possessive way. Halfway through the afternoon, Komaeda woke up with a start to a pair of arms wrapped around him - distantly, he knew that his idiot of a boyfriend fell asleep on him, and he would’ve broken free were it not for the fever, but a part of him simply pressed him to stay.

And so Komaeda did, too - he waited for Hinata’s arms to loosen its hold on him. But Hinata never let him go.  
  



	16. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, IT'S HERE. 
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone.

It was late in the afternoon once Hinata awakened. The clouds were painted in a softly washed blue, the color of a pair of faded jeans. A light drizzle of snow tumbled down outside, spotting the windows with tiny white dots, like a canvas of constellations. It made a soft, thudding sound, one that reminded Hinata of waking up early for Christmas gifts and getting out to make snow angels.

Hinata blinked once, twice before he reached for his phone and realized the time. It was already 4:37pm; a couple of hours had passed since they got back from the cemetery, and Komaeda had fallen asleep almost immediately in exhaustion. The thought of Komaeda prompted Hinata to look back at his side. His bittersweet absence, however, met Hinata’s eyes, and a warm, wrinkled bed sheet took the missing boy’s place.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed a vase of white lilies on Komaeda’s nightstand. They still looked miraculously alive. How long had it been since Hinata gave Komaeda those flowers? He smiled at the sight regardless, remembering the fond memory.

It was only then he realized that Hinata didn’t have his jacket on. He remembered taking his coat off when they got inside Komaeda’s room, but what about his jacket…?

Hinata looked around to check if his jacket had somehow fallen on the floor. He checked under the bed, turned over the pillows, but he saw no trace of his dark blue jacket. He heaved a sigh in frustration. He really liked that jacket too, and now it was—

“Hey, idiot, what are you doing?” Komaeda’s voice interrupted him.

Hinata froze. He was still on his fours on the floor, and his back was raised so he could look closer under the bed. If one placed the present situation out of context, it would surely have drawn quite an audience. At the back of Hinata’s mind, he thought of Souda, who would _definitely_ kill to take a picture of Hinata like this. 

“O-oh, I was looking around for my jacket!” Hinata answered nervously, trying to laugh it off. He slowly got up on the floor, too embarrassed to meet Komaeda’s judging gaze. _Great,_ he thought. What an impression he had left for Komaeda to remember. “Did you notice me wearing it when we got back? I know I was wearing it, but— _o-oh_...”

Komaeda stood in the dim glow of the dark sky, clad in no other than Hinata’s dark blue jacket. The jacket was thrice Komaeda’s size; its sleeves were loosely hanging from his hands, and it had enough coverage for his thighs. He seemed more embarrassed than annoyed at the situation, judging from the the rosy cheeks, the coiling fingers, and the helpless look on his face.

“M-my own jacket got stuck in the washing machine,” Komaeda quickly explained, fidgeting with the sleeves, his gaze trained on the ground.  “And I was too tired to go and get another jacket from my closet, s-so… I thought it would be alright to just borrow yours for the meantime…”

Hinata smiled bashfully, remembering how he made Komaeda borrow his gloves to ward off the cold on their date two days ago. He felt a slight tug at his heartstrings at the embarrassed face Komaeda wore. “Of course it’s okay,” Hinata said. “You must’ve been cold. I don’t want your fever to get worse.”

Komaeda simply nodded in a hasty motion, looking away from Hinata’s smile. “I-I suppose…"

Silence fell. Komaeda was spacing out again - his gaze had settled on the pile of books on his own desk - a random vessel for the bottomless void that was Komaeda’s thoughts. Hinata knew that Komaeda was still thinking about his parents. The puffy eyes and Komaeda holding onto the hem of Hinata’s dark blue jacket gave it all away. Hinata could barely imagine how much pain and loneliness Komaeda must’ve been through up to now. But now that Hinata was here, he was going to put a stop to that. 

“Komaeda,” Hinata spoke up, tentatively. The small boy’s attention was caught by Hinata’s voice. “Are you… okay?”

Komaeda knew that Hinata didn’t mean his fever, but he had no idea how to explain his current disposition. “...I’m not sure,” he simply said, a bit embarrassed that he couldn’t answer Hinata’s question properly.

Hinata walked towards Komaeda, gently placing his hands on the smaller boy’s shoulders. Komaeda reacted to the touch - it felt strangely soothing. Hinata’s hands traveled down, never any less gentler nor bolder than when Hinata first put them on Komaeda’s skin, going south to his elbows, to his wrists, and finally his small, cold - they were always so cold - hands. 

Komaeda looked up at him - soft, ashen eyes met earnest olive ones.

“I love you,” Hinata spoke thoughtlessly. “And I’m just here for you.”

As if that statement couldn’t be any more truthful, the sudden smile that adorned Komaeda’s face seemed to question just how much love Hinata could harbor for his boyfriend.

“I really like you too, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said, his cheeks rosy, smile so faint Hinata could mistake it for a simple tug on the lips but Hinata knew him so well already. The unique gleam in Komaeda’s eyes - a look that Hinata had never seen him give anyone else before - proved that Komaeda reciprocated Hinata’s feelings. “I’m glad that you’re here.” 

Hinata’s heart felt warm. “Really?”

“Yes, but…” Komaeda’s smile disappeared. He closed his eyes, pulled away from Hinata’s tender hold and walked towards the window. Hinata’s chest ached. Why was Komaeda always like this? Why did Komaeda always have to push him away?

Hinata voiced his thoughts out. “Komaeda… what’s wrong?”

Komaeda shook his head. His back was turned on Hinata. “I don’t know-”

“You _do_ know,” Hinata asserted, not wanting to be left out of the dark again. “Look, I’m not going to pin any of my opinions on whatever that’s bothering you, okay? I’m just going to be here and help you with it. And whatever it is, I’m not just going to leave you once things get hard. That’s how much I love you.”

Komaeda faced him again - his expression was one that Hinata could ever hope to fathom. Anxiety, sorrow, love…  There was a long winter of silence until Komaeda said, “I don’t think I’m good for you." 

Hinata frowned. “Why not? You make me happy. Isn’t that enough?”

Komaeda looked down and shook his head lightly. “Sometimes the wrong people can make you happy.”

“I’m the one who’s going to decide what’s bad or good for me,” Hinata objected. “And you’re surely not one of the bad things in my life.” 

“Hinata-kun…” Komaeda sighed. “I’m… I’ve killed people.”

“I don’t mind.”

Komaeda’s eyes widened. “You don’t _mind_?”

Hinata nodded. “You must have your reasons. I’m sure you do.”

Komaeda could feel the nerves in his head hurting. “This isn’t something you can just ignore,” he huffed. He stopped for a moment and spoke after gathering the thoughts in his head, clearing his throat before doing so. “My reasons… I’m not even sure if you’d understand them. I’m dangerous, Hinata-kun. People come up to me so I can kill someone they hate in the worst way possible. Don’t you know why people keep avoiding me, spreading rumors and stories all over the school? Everyone’s scared that I might do the same thing to them. Every bad thing that happened in school was blamed on me. If I’m the cause of all of the trouble, then what will everyone think of you when you’re with me?” 

“You don’t have to listen to what people say,” Hinata said, shaking his head with a smile. “And I sure as hell don’t care about what they think of me, so you can stop worrying about that.”

“I can’t, don’t you get it, you idiot?” Komaeda snapped. “If there was only a switch for not caring at all, then I would’ve turned that off long _ago_!”

Hinata paled at the sudden change in tone. “You really don’t have to worry about me, Komaeda,” he said softly. “I’m fine. I seriously don’t mind what you do.”

Komaeda glared at him. “You say that like it’s so easy for me.”

“Why can’t you-”

“Because, you stupid dummy, I care about you!” Komaeda exploded. “I don’t like seeing other people treat you like they’re treating me! You _don’t_ deserve it! I hate it when I have to pretend that it doesn’t bother me, but you’re such an idiot that you don’t realize what’s happening inside!”

Shaky fists and an edged gaze casted a new side of Komaeda that Hinta never saw before. Concern and anger jumbled into an emotional concept that Hinata vaguely remembered experiencing himself. Hinata recognized this feeling. It was the same one that he felt before he confessed to Komaeda. With that knowledge, Hinata quietly took in Komaeda’s temper and listened to him as attentively as he could. 

“Don’t you get it, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda’s voice softened into an upset tone. “You can’t just love me and expect me not to… not to care for you too. Y-you’re… you’re the only one I care about, you idiot...” Komaeda stuttered at the last word and turned away from Hinata’s gaze once again.

Before either of them realized it, Komaeda was in Hinata’s arms yet again, the smaller boy’s back pressed against Hinata’s chest. The taller boy’s arms were laced around Komaeda’s waist. Komaeda breathed heavily, recognizing all of the emotions trapped in his body. Hinata’s unique scent calmed him down - a mixture of cologne and notepaper. He closed his eyes and focused on the things that made Hinata, Hinata. His protectiveness, his warmth, his steady heartbeat… His brown hair and olive eyes. Komaeda himself wasn’t sure why these kinds of things gave him comfort, but he didn’t really care. As long as it was Hinata, Komaeda felt safe.

“Komaeda?”

Komaeda sighed, and tilted his head to look up at Hinata. His eyes were still a little puffy from the previous crying just some hours ago in the graveyard. Now that Hinata thought about it, Komaeda had brought up quite a fair amount of suppressed emotions and stress today. Knowing that Hinata was one of the causes of the said stress made his chest feel heavy. 

“I’m sorry,” Hinata said, nuzzling Komaeda’s neck. “I had no idea that you felt this way. I should’ve known better.”

Komaeda flushed, resting his head against Hinata’s. “You don’t have to apologize, s-stupid…”

“Of course I do,” Hinata replied. “I’m your boyfriend. It’s my job to make you happy, not to worry you. So I’m really glad that you told me all of this, because I know that you’re not going through anything all alone. Honestly though, I really don’t care what anyone says about me. And I don’t want to hide my relationship with you like it’s something to be ashamed of. But still, you come first, so if it makes you feel better, I don’t mind laying low about us for now.”

Komaeda was quiet. He continued to focus on his breathing. Opening up to someone was an action that Komaeda was absolutely alien to. It was like seeing a brand new color, and Komaeda could hardly process it as quickly as he experienced the feeling.

“I’m not ashamed of you either,” Komaeda mumbled. “I just…”

“I know,” Hinata interrupted, hugging him even more tightly. “I’m not going to cause any trouble, I promise.”

They shared a slow and soft kiss until Hinata finally let Komaeda go for a moment. “It’s getting a little late. Want to watch a horror movie?” Komaeda nodded with a weak smile, which Hinata happily pecked. The action evoked a low grumble from Komaeda.

* * *

Komaeda was still a little shaken up from the graveyard. Some days had passed and the two of them continued to see each other, almost on a regular everyday basis. There were times when one of them couldn’t go out. Hinata helped some of his friends with their homework or lessons, while Komaeda’s disease continued to show its presence throughout the whole winter break. Hinata was seriously worried. He hadn’t forgotten Komaeda mentioning that his fevers could reach up to 104, and the last thing Hinata wanted for Christmas was a sick boyfriend.

On the very rare (and few) days that Hinata and Komaeda couldn’t see each other, they still used text to communicate. Hinata liked to message Komaeda while he took a break from doing other people’s homework.

_ > Komaeda, are you okay? Please tell me if you’ve eaten already. How is your fever? _

_ >> I’m fine, you idiot. And it’s just at 101 now because you texted me. It was 102.4 before _

“Did it go down because he saw your text, and got happy about it?” Souda chimed in as he read through his best friend’s texts. Hinata gasped in a pleasant kind of surprise.

“You know, you could be right,” Hinata said with a grin.

_ > Really?? Did you get happy when you saw my text so that’s why your fever went down? Hehe _

Komaeda’s response was almost immediate.

_ >> No. You reminded me to eat. _

 Souda patted Hinata on the back gently, who looked quite disappointed. “Well, at least you tried, bro.”

* * *

The next few days were spent in bliss. What was noticeable about their relationship was that Komaeda was more willing to be _with_ Hinata. As in, being with Hinata in the physical sense.

Hinata was compliant, of course; they were both equally, happily entranced in their own little world. He kissed Komaeda when the other boy least expected it, wanted it the most, and simply when Komaeda was just too damn cute.

Not that Komaeda was reluctant before, but Hinata felt the other boy reciprocating when they were kissing. It was subtle; as Hinata would firmly but gently press his lips onto his, he’d feel Komaeda’s small hands reaching around Hinata’s neck, drawing them both closer to each other. Komaeda would tilt his head to give Hinata more access, and since this was something neither of them experienced before (at least, at the start of their relationship), Hinata would, if slightly awkwardly, close the space between them and have Komaeda completely under him. It was at this point that Hinata always wondered if this was getting too far too early, but that same thought would always be wiped away by Komaeda biting into Hinata’s lip.

 _Shocked_ would be the more accurate term to describe Hinata’s feelings.

Hinata had never even thought that Komaeda could bite _._ Literally.

“Don’t you like it?”

Komaeda was lying down beneath him, his hands still laced around Hinata. They had pulled away from each other, yet their foreheads were touching, their breaths still in sync. Hinata looked down at Komaeda with lidded eyes, his sight trailing down to the zipper of Komaeda’s jacket.

“Wh...what?” was Hinata’s graceful answer.

Komaeda placed his hands on Hinata’s face, their closeness never breaking apart. Their eyes were locked now; Komaeda had taken off his glasses a while ago before they settled down, so Hinata could truly appreciate the color of his eyes—a soft, ashen grey, like the color of the sky amidst a summer rain.

“I asked if you liked what I was doing, dummy,” Komaeda murmured. Despite the insult, Komaeda surprisingly didn’t sound annoyed like usual—his voice sounded a tad husky. “Are you dizzy?”

Hinata felt himself redden even more. It was like their roles were in reverse now—Hinata was falling behind and Komaeda was leading him. God, what was Hinata doing?

“No,” Hinata answered him, nuzzling Komaeda’s neck. It drew a soft sigh from the boy beneath him. “No, I mean… I do.”

“You what?” Komaeda breathed.

“I like what you’re doing to me.”

And from there they continued their kiss; it was gentle, then Komaeda began to give Hinata more control by tilting his head. Hinata followed Komaeda’s lead and affectionately ran his fingers through the other boy’s hair. They went on like this for a bit, until Hinata pulled away himself (he could barely hear Komaeda whining as he did so).

“Can’t you breathe?” Komaeda asked impatiently. He sat up frustratedly and settled on Hinata’s lap.

“No, it’s not that,” Hinata said. 

“Then what is it?” Komaeda grumbled.

“I want to try something,” was Hinata’s reply after a long pause.

Komaeda’s eyes widened slightly, and covered his face on Hinata’s shoulder. “W-wh… what do you want to try on me?”

Hinata couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t make it sound like that. I’m not going to do something before I’m sure if you like it.”

“O-okay…” Komaeda said, his voice muffled from the fabric of Hinata’s shirt. “Well… what do you want to do?”

“I want to kiss your neck.”

“H-h... _huh_?!”

Hinata smiled gently at Komaeda. “Only if it’s okay with you. I won’t mention it again if you really don’t want to.”

“N-no… it’s…” Komaeda stuttered nervously. Hinata felt Komaeda tugging at the hem of his sleeve again. He pulled away a little bit so Komaeda could have some breathing space. “I-I… I mean… I’m… I guess it’s okay, but…”

Hinata patiently waited for a comprehensive reply.

“U-um… I-I think I’m okay with it.”

“You’re sure?”

“...Yeah. I’m sure.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Hinata said, for the last time.  “If you don’t want to do it, then we don’t have to. If you want to stop now too, then you should just say so. We won’t do anything you don’t want.” 

Komaeda drew nearer and wrapped his small arms around Hinata. Why was Hinata so careful with him? Hinata could easily have his way with Komaeda, who was too flustered and stimulated to think straight. Hinata could simply pin Komaeda down, and do whatever he wanted with the boy; Komaeda probably wouldn’t mind too, either way, since Komaeda himself wanted Hinata to feel good. That could justify Hinata’s actions. Komaeda could just forget about himself… But Hinata gently placed his hands on the sides of Komaeda’s face and looked down at him, concern gleaming in his eyes.

“Komaeda,” Hinata simply said. He looked into the smaller boy’s eyes with an earnest gleam.

“It’s okay with me,” Komaeda reassured him. “I…  still want to continue. Y-You’re… you’re not going to do anything I don’t want, right?”

“Never,” Hinata said determinedly, and he leaned forward to close the gap between them. 

They kissed again, but this time Hinata was visibly more in control. Hinata placed his hand on Komaeda’s cheek, which slowly trailed down to spider along his neck. Komaeda stifled a sigh as Hinata broke the kiss and began moving his lips down to Komaeda’s chin, then further to his throat. Komaeda let out breathy sighs. Hinata left a short trail of kisses as his lips traveled from one weak spot to another. Komaeda shakily went along with Hinata’s flow, tilting his head back as a sign of consent and submission. Both of them were nervous, but they still wanted each other. Hinata was afraid that he was making Komaeda uncomfortable, while Komaeda was afraid that Hinata wasn’t enjoying himself. But they weren’t thinking about that.

 _You said kiss, not bite,_  Komaeda thought as he felt Hinata nipping at his neck. But Komaeda really, _really_ didn’t mind. This… this felt good to him.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Hinata said softly. 

“Don’t.”

“You’re really okay?”

Komaeda’s answer was in a whisper. “Just keep going.”

Hinata didn’t ask Komaeda again.

* * *

Ultimately, they didn’t go farther down than Komaeda’s neck and stopped after one more kiss that could have deepened into something else. Komaeda was quite tired from having to only breathe through his nose during their kisses and lied down to get some rest.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda uttered weakly. “Mm.”

“Are you okay?” Hinata asked, reaching to move a stray lock of hair from Komaeda’s face. An afterthought then suddenly struck Hinata. What time was it? From his position, he could barely make out the color of the sky outside. Heavenly white light struck through Komaeda’s old window curtains. So it was still daytime. _Well_ , Hinata thought, _it doesn’t really matter._

“I feel sleepy,” Komaeda said, “but I don’t feel like sleeping too.”

“Why not?”

“I still want to…” Komaeda reddened. “I still want to do other things with you…”

Hinata’s cheeks rivaled the flush on Komaeda's face. “D-don’t push yourself,” he mumbled, slowly processing the shock he felt from Komaeda’s words. “We can still do them later if you want.” 

“But I won’t be in the mood anymore,” Komaeda whined. 

“Then tomorrow. Or the day after that.”

“But our break’s almost over.” Komaeda’s eyes looked genuinely disappointed, something uncharacteristic of him - not being disappointed, but being transparent. 

Hinata’s eyes widened. “How many days do we have left?”

“School is going to start again on Monday.”

Hinata’s heart sank. _Just_ how much has he been enjoying being in Komaeda’s presence?

“Well, I finished all of my schoolwork before I binge-visited you, soo,” Hinata attempted to be optimistic. “I think we can still make the most out of our four days.”

Komaeda allowed at quizzical smile to surface at the made-up word. “You’re silly.”

“Isn’t that why you love me?”

The calm on Komaeda’s face was ruined. Like a sudden wave that ate away on messages written on sand, Komaeda’s face was a blank slate yet again. But Hinata knew him better than that.

“Sorry,” Hinata whispered, kissing Komaeda’s cheek and forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Komaeda simply replied. No filtered irritation or doubt - blank.

“I don’t mean to pressure you.”

 “I know you don’t,” Komaeda said, a-matter-of-factly, his arms having found their way around Hinata’s neck again, “so stop worrying like that.”

Hinata wasn’t one to not catch up on hints like these.

* * *

 True to Komaeda’s word, their winter break was indeed about to end, and Hinata decided that he should use the next few days making up to Souda, whom Hinata hadn’t hung out with for too long.

“I thought your Komaeda put a spell on ya and you’d never leave,” Souda fake-sniffled. “Got me so worried.”

Hinata beamed at him, pushing him lightly. "Oh, get over it. You still haven’t finished that English essay of yours, right?”

Souda scowled. “Can we please not talk about school and just catch up with each other? Please?”

Hinata flopped down on the bed, quite unceremoniously. “What happened to you and Sonia?”

“Nothin’ much, really,” Souda admitted. “I’ve stopped messin’ around with her for a lil bit, you know. Been fixing cars, bikes. Hell, even gadgets. I have so much pocket money I could take Sonia to, what, a restaurant? But I don’t feel like chasin’ her right now, not really. I dunno… I guess there’s more than just revolving your whole world around the person you like.”

Hinata let out a laugh. “Are you calling out on me or something?" 

“Heh, I never said anythin’ about you, but it’s nice to know that you know just how invested you are.”

“Is that bad?”

“To be invested?”

“To care, yeah.”

“Being invested is different from just carin’.” Souda said. “Wait, you haven’t told me what happened between ya two. What’d you do for like… five days? We barely saw each other, man.”

Hinata tried to hide the flush spreading through his cheeks. “You know, we really should work on your essay.”

If Souda had a drink, he would’ve spat it out. “What did you do?!”

“Souda, your essay takes up 30% of your final grade.”

“Hey, hey, since you’re doin’ that type of stuff with him now, you’re gonna have to tell me what kinds of things you been doin’, you hear me?” Souda almost threatened. “Don’t wanna accidentally see some marks on you already. That’s too fast!" 

Hinata sighed. “We didn’t do _that_ , Souda. Komaeda’s not ready.”

Souda eyed him warily. “Then what’d you do?" 

“You know what, I’m going to do your essay if you just shut up.”

 “C’mon, bro, you know I just really wanna know-”

“Souda-”

“Hinata, my man, I’ve known you for so long and I never hid my thing for Sonia from you. Please tell me what you and that kid-”

“We _experimented_ , I told him I wanted to try something and Komaeda was _nice_ enough to let me do it to him! I kissed his neck! That’s _it_!” Hinata yelled, his cheeks ablaze.

“Wait - what?!” 

Without so much as hesitating, Hinata threw his pillow at his best friend who landed on his own bed with a thud. Headshot.

* * *

“You know what? I think Komaeda’s been through a lot. He’s just not going to tell me the things he's gone through yet, and that’s fine. I can wait.”

“What makes you think he’ll eventually tell you, anyway?” 

Hinata blinked at the question. “I mean… He has to. At one point or another, he’s gotta get them off of his chest.”

“Uh huh. And what if he doesn’t?” Souda gave him a funny look, his brow raised up. “You okay with that, Mr. Hero Complex?”

Hinata rolled his eyes at the nickname and lied down to stare at the ceiling. “He’s been through so much though,” Hinata sighed. “He can’t keep his troubles to himself forever.”

Hinata had just finished explaining what he and Komaeda did in the course of five days - the aquarium date, the visit to the graveyard, as well as those lazy days where they simply basked in each other’s presence. Hinata strayed from giving out too many details on the physical aspect of their relationship.

“This isn’t exactly related, but,” Souda drawled the last word. “It’s almost your birthday, right? You gonna do anything special?” 

Hinata tried to put his overthinking to a stop and put his focus on the subject of celebration instead. “Not really. You know that I don’t really do that." 

Souda batted his lashes at him. “You’re not gonna ask anythin’ special from Komaeda?”

Hinata gave Souda a strange look. “Like ask him to open up?” 

Souda giggled. “Maybe,” the mechanic smirked, propping his chin on an upturned palm. “Open up in what way though, I wonder-”

This time Souda didn’t feel the weight of a pillow against his face. It was Hinata himself who tackled him on the bed, his hands just shy of strangling Souda’s neck.

* * *

 “Do you think this is really okay?” 

They were both sitting on the bench on the bridge, paying little mind to the world around them, except for Hinata. It was a Friday afternoon, so the school gates were open for the faculty members to check on papers, encode grades and prepare for upcoming lectures. Sitting out in the cold on the Hope’s Peak bridge was an unusual way to pass the time, but the world left the two to their own taste.

“Is there something wrong?” Hinata said, feeling the wind rush past him like a betrayed lover. He felt a tug of ire aimed at himself for forgetting to put on earmuffs, but the situation presented in front of him was keeping him distracted from that. Hinata’s hand instinctively reached for Komaeda’s, which were now thankfully covered in a pair of fitting gloves. “Did somebody mess with you?” 

“No, not really,” Komaeda said, his small legs swaying back and forth. His shoes left marks on the snow-covered ground. “I haven’t seen anyone from our classes recently, so there’s no way anyone could ‘mess’ with me. I’m just thinking what could happen next, once the break’s over.” 

“Oh, I see,” Hinata said. His breaths came out in white puffs. “You don’t usually blurt out questions like these, you know. So it’s worrying if you ask something like, ‘Are we okay?’” 

Komaeda, still staring at the little cave his shoes had formed, turned into a pensive expression. “...Sorry.”

“It’s nothing,” Hinata said, smiling to ease the mood a bit. He scooted closer so he could feel Komaeda’s hand with his own. “I feel… good, you know,” Hinata said, purposely changing the topic. “That we can spend our own time like this. If I’m going to be honest… I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been since years.” 

Komaeda couldn’t help himself from chuckling, shaking his head in disbelief. “Isn’t that over exaggerating?" 

“It’s true!” Hinata continued, perhaps a bit _too_ loudly, noticing the doubt caught in Komaeda’s words. “Maybe it’s because I haven’t loved someone this much before. That’s why you’re really special to me.”  

Komaeda reddened at his words, the skepticism on his face fading away. Something warm and familiar, like a childhood memory, crawled into his chest. 

“I… feel the same,” Komaeda finally said, hesitating in between his words. “You… really are special to me, too. Nobody has… nobody _could_ ever look at me the same way you do. So… I-I… I…”  

Hinata smiled fondly at Komaeda, a rush of ecstasy threatening to claw out his heart. He leaned over and held Komaeda’s face in his hands, letting their foreheads touch.

“You don’t have to say it,” Hinata said. “If you don’t feel like saying it.”

“Okay,” Komaeda uttered out, almost as a squeak. 

Hinata closed his eyes and pressed a chaste kiss on Komaeda’s lips. The smaller boy shrinked in embarrassment, but Komaeda didn’t pull away. 

They sat in silence for a while. Nothing was holding them back from killing time like this. They continued to hold hands as the sky slowly melted into a sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took ridiculously long, I know. But please tell me what you think! I really want to know if you feel like this is rushed (I'm pretty confident that it isn't though, there's like 10 pages of scrapped scenes in this chapter), if you've enjoyed it, or if you think there are ways that I can improve on my writing more. 
> 
> Have a happy new year everybody!!


	17. New Term

January marked a new term for the school year. As students struggled to cram sentences into their essays (Souda being one of those) to reach the minimum word count, Hinata simply read ahead of the lectures. He wasn’t called an ace student for nothing, after all - it was his classmates that approached Hinata for academic favors and his teachers to handle the extra work. For as long as he could remember, Hinata always kept his consistency with achieving good grades.

Hinata glanced at the clock behind him. He was already in the classroom, reading about two chapters advance to their first period subject. There was more than fifteen minutes left before class began - Komaeda had texted him and specifically instructed Hinata not to wait for him at the school gates anymore with no particular explanation as to why. Hinata was a little worried, but heeded Komaeda’s words.

Hinata brought out his phone and swiftly typed a message for Komaeda.

_ > Komaeda, where are you? _

Ten minutes had passed and there was still no reply from Komaeda, which caused Hinata to grow anxious. The inevitable playthrough of several what-ifs flashed in his mind. They hadn’t seen each other for two days because Hinata had to help with Souda’s essay. Still, they kept in touch through texts, and last night Komaeda did not mention anything about not attending school today.

Eventually, though, their teacher finally arrived and caused everyone to arrange themselves in their respective seats. A familiar, stern atmosphere was imposed upon the teacher’s dictation of names.

_ > Did you get sick again? Please tell me if you’re okay. _

Hinata could barely focus on the lecture with Komaeda absent from his sight. What could’ve happened to him?

-

Komaeda felt uneasy. He had recently woken up from a nap on a sickbed in the infirmary, ridden with yet another flu. It was always the case that he barely remembered what happened before he fell asleep; that was why he was unsure about the paper-wrapped basket on his bedside table. Komaeda had probably spent about five minutes zoning out.

“You’re awake.”

Komaeda turned to see who appeared to be the school nurse. She looked like Komaeda’s age, and although she had been (apparently) taking care of him ever since he was a frequent patient, Komaeda didn’t actually know her name, or even interacted with her once since he was mostly unconscious. Maybe he remembered her vaguely, but he couldn’t keep a clear memory of her face intact.

She walked up closer to him, her hands clasped in a poised manner. She stood upright in a pristine white apron. “I see that you’re still quite in a daze,” she said. “You have an unusual disease. But it is manageable, if you’re under my hands.”

Komaeda eyed her uneasily.

The school nurse chuckled. “I understand if you’re uncomfortable. I’d normally stop if you like, but talking helps you focus--”

“Is it necessary?” Komaeda interrupted her, realizing that he had a lump in his throat. His voice felt hoarse.

The nurse paused in thought for a moment, looking at Komaeda curiously. “Well, from a psychological perspective… yes, it is.” The nurse gave a gentle smile. “Besides, I’ve never really talked to you before, haven’t I? I’ve always been out.”

Komaeda frowned. He sort of wished he never woke up at this particular time when the nurse chose to engage in an uncomfortable conversation with him. He wasn’t in the best condition, either - his nose was clogged, his head hazy; he truly wouldn’t hesitate falling asleep on this talkative nurse if it served Komaeda the best convenience.

“It’s Komaeda-kun, yes?”

Komaeda started at the sound of his name. How did she know him? Wait, he was a frequent patient at the infirmary. Of course a nurse would know his name… she would have a file.

“Please,” the nurse spoke softly, looking at Komaeda directly. “Entertain me, even for just today. I would like to get to know you.”

Komaeda rolled his eyes, heaving a sigh. “If you want something done, I can do it, you know. I’m not that hard to talk to. There’s no need to soften me up.” The lump on his throat struck him as an afterthought, causing him to swallow hard. It constricted quite painfully.

“Oh, no, I’m not asking for your services,” the nurse said. “I’m… quite surprised that’s what you thought. I’m not like the other people in this school who are selfish, you know. A nurse requesting for an… extermination service, I wonder what anyone would think of that… Anyway,” she burst into a smile. “I have other personal reasons of wanting to get to know you, and as an incentive, I will make sure to repay you one day if you let me talk to you like a normal person.”

Komaeda sat up in bed, instinctively looking for something to fidget with - the fabric of the bed sheets crumpled into a ball in his fist. “What kind of… repayment?” he asked.

“You’ll see,” the nurse winked.

“Then it’s not worth a deal,” Komaeda turned his head away. “I don’t have any reason to trust you.”

The nurse made a sad face. “It’s not much I’m asking for. I just want to talk.”

“And? What’ll you do with the small talk I’ll provide?”

The nurse shrugged. “To satiate my desire, I guess? And that desire being to get to know you.”

Komaeda looked at the nurse as if she were a difficult math problem. The nurse couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, Komaeda-kun,” she giggled. “I apologize. It’s rude. How does this sound - I’ll tell you what specific things I can offer. Would that be alright?”

“Fine,” Komaeda grumbled. “But if I don’t like your offer, then you’ll stop bothering me.”

“You’d be surprised what else a nurse can do aside from treating injuries,” she said. “Well, like I said, I can treat any injury for free. I’m also willing to do surgeries without any charge if it’s under your name.  I’ll give you a coupon for about three sessions,” she smiled.

“Is that all?” Komaeda raised his brows. “What else can a nurse do aside from the obvious?”

The nurse gently clasped her hands. “A steady supply of surgical blades, medicine, illegal drugs, conducting and faking autopsies, hiding a corpse, and providing an excuse to skip classes in my clinic. Those would be three sessions _each_. Would that be good enough, Mr. Shinigami?"

Komaeda rolled his eyes. He paused for a moment in thought. Eventually, he came to a conclusion. “Fine,” he said. “but if I tell you not to pry, then don’t.”

The nurse smiled. “My name is Tsumiki Mikan,” she said, settling down on a nearby chair. “I don’t think I’ve told you my name yet. Not a lot of people know.”

-

Hinata’s footsteps noisily slid across the wooden floor as he hurried towards the infirmary. Komaeda had to be there. He could barely mutter polite _excuse me’s_ as he moved past casually walking students.

By the time he reached the hallway leading to the infirmary, he was expecting no other obstacles to come in his path - he was fully focused on being able to see Komaeda. But such was not a case. From among the crowd of students, a girl in black overalls and a tie approached Hinata. She seemed vaguely familiar; the lavender hair stood out. Once again, he halted in his tracks, although he couldn’t help but show his anxious state.

“Excuse me,” the girl spoke. She had a soft voice - it wasn’t loud, and it lacked the vibrance that Hinata was so used to hearing to. Hinata mainly stuck around social butterflies, and by extension eccentrics. Just from her bearing and tone, Hinata decided that he, indeed, had never meet this girl before. “You are Hinata Hajime-kun, correct?”

“Y-yeah,” Hinata stuttered. Then an idea dawned on him - what if Hinata was in trouble, and she was a hall monitor? The school usually assigned the same hall monitors every term, but what if there was a change in the agenda? Was she new? Did she just get promoted? What if Hinata was caught the last time he snuck into the dorms, and she just happened to see him that day, and she reported him to the authorities? What if _she_ was going to escort him to the guidance counselor or something?

While Hinata quietly had a mental breakdown, the girl observed Hinata from head to toe. Hinata Hajime was a tall and handsome boy; he had quite a reputation thanks to his looks and friendly personality, but that had changed ever since he had reportedly stuck up for a certain outcast some weeks ago. He didn’t excel in any particular subjects nor did he attend any clubs, but he had one of the most consistently high grades in the academy. He could definitely get into a good university if he put his mind to it.

But aside from that, he was just an ordinary student in the academy’s eyes. He was intelligent, sure, but no extraordinary talent… The girl was puzzled. Why did a boy like him become such a subject of interest to _them_ all of a sudden…? Why did _he_ ask her to do this?

“Um… could you excuse me for a moment, if you’re just going to stand there?” Hinata’s voice snapped the girl out of her thoughts. She got back to what she was supposed to do; the girl gently grabbed Hinata’s wrist and forcibly made eye contact.

“Please wait,” she said calmly. “I apologize. I am Kirigiri Kyouko, and I have a special duty to this school.”

Hinata paused in thought. Her surname sounded familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint where he must’ve heard it from. “U-uh… Nice to meet you, I guess? I’m kind of in a hurry, to be honest,” he admitted, escaping Kirigiri’s hold on his hand.

“I’m sorry. But I just wish to inform you that my father wants to speak to you,” she said, letting go of Hinata’s hand completely.

“Who’s your father?”

“The headmaster of this school. You can find him in his office on the fifth floor during lunch break.”

Hinata’s eyes widened. “O-oh. Okay.” _So that’s where her name came from._

“It’s already lunch break, so you can meet him now.”

“Now?” Hinata blurted out.

Kirigiri simply nodded. “Do I need to escort you? I just told you where you could find him.”

“No, but…” Hinata stammered. “Did—did I do something wrong? Why do I need to go?”

Kirigiri shook her head, a mechanical gesture. “My father is a fairly objective man. And as far as I know, you have clean records. Don’t worry. He just has questions.”

Hinata heaved a sigh. If the headmaster of Hope’s Peak academy had questions, was Hinata really the most suitable person to answer them? “Okay,” he said, his head beginning to throb. “Thanks.”

-

 

“Is there a reason why your name isn’t well-known?” Komaeda asked.

“Should there be a reason why it must be well-known?” Tsumiki answered back in a curious tone.

“You’re the school nurse, for one,” Komaeda stated. “And with the list of… services you can provide, I’m sure there’s quite a demand for it.”

“Let’s just say that Hope’s Peak’s students aren’t really the clients I cater to,” Tsumiki said. “Anyway, enough about me. I wanted to get to know Komaeda Nagito. There’s not a lot of people who pay attention to you, yes?”

“Oh, I have a lot of audience,” Komaeda answered with a bite of sarcasm. “They give me a lot of gifts, too. Flowers on my desk, for instance.”

Tsumiki gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry that you go through that. Tell me, do you sometimes wish they’d just… stop?”

Komaeda shrugged. “I’m used to it, actually. And whatever people do or tell me, I’m not really affected by it.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re not worth my time.”

“Well, how about what is worth your time?” Tsumiki shifted closer, adjusting her posture in her seat.

Komaeda paused in thought. “The horror genre. And…” Hinata’s face flashed in his mind; Komaeda brushed the thought away. “And my… occupation. I guess. How did you know about it? You mentioned ‘extermination service’ a while ago. How much do you know?”

“We both work underground,” Tsumiki said. “And I’m also aware the demand has been extremely high for your family for the longest time. So, I’ve heard about you, as well as your family business.”

“You know about my family’s history?” Komaeda furrowed a brow. This was the first time he had spoken to anyone in Hope’s Peak about his family.

Tsumiki nodded. “I’ve only heard from some, so I don’t _know_ about your history per se,” she said. “I’ve heard of your name numerous times underground. Jealous lovers, warlords, politicians. They all wanted someone murdered in the worst way possible. They said that Komaedas were the best at doing that. It was in your blood to spill blood.” 

Komaeda paused for a moment, processing Tsumiki’s explanation. “They’re right,” he said. “That’s why people have a reason to be afraid of us… and to hate us too.”

“Is it your family’s tradition to kill?” Tsumiki asked. “Does everyone have to do it?”

“Yes and not exactly,” Komaeda answered. “It’s a bit more complicated than having a choice. Our family has… a curse.”

“A curse?”

Komaeda nodded. “All of us have it.”

Tsumiki pursed her lips. “What sort of curse?”

Komaeda fidgeted with the hem of his jacket sleeve, thinking of a suitable reply. “It depends,” Komaeda eventually answered, albeit vaguely.

Tsumiki chose not to pry. There were still several basic questions floating in her head, but she would have to pick her inquiries for now. Komaeda wasn’t in the best state to answer them anyway. For instance, if Komaeda Nagito was such a feared assassin of sorts, then why was his body so fragile? She found it difficult to picture such a small boy slitting someone’s throat, or beating someone to death. The only truth Tsumiki knew was that as far as she was concerned, Komaeda Nagito was indeed an individual capable of doing things, that including murder. She simply knew nothing about his actual modus operandi. Maybe his methods were more covert, like poison… But that would mean she would have heard a thing or two about their supplier for their formula, since Tsumiki herself specialized in drugs and medicine. And, frankly, for a boy to be labeled the “Angel of Death,” Tsumiki would definitely expect more…

 _What a mystery_ , Tsumiki thought to herself. There were still also rumors circulating around Komaeda with regards to his so-called ‘power.’ Teachers and students alike would suffer strange circumstances whenever Komaeda was around. Some would get injuries, some would disappear for days, and a few of their personalities would even change. There was no tangible evidence that anyone could work out to conclude a credible explanation. However, to put it bluntly, things _simply_ went askew whenever Komaeda was around. And although there was never any solid proof that Komaeda was indeed the culprit behind these cases (aside from his consistent presence in the reported cases), the most reasonable person to be blamed was the one called a “shinigami.”

Realizing she had been silent for too long, Tsumiki gestured to the paper-wrapped basket on Komaeda’s bedside table to initiate another conversation. “You brought that with you when you came into the school, ready to collapse. Can I ask to whom is that for?”

Komaeda glanced at the mysterious package. Honestly, he wasn’t sure himself either, since his last memory was simply a blackout. _Did someone give it to me_? Komaeda asked himself. No, it was impossible. He didn’t accept anything from anyone. Well, if it wasn’t given to him, perhaps Komaeda bought it himself? Komaeda couldn’t remember buying anything earlier that day, though…

“It’s a strangely warm day for the winter season, isn’t it?” Tsumiki commented abruptly. Komaeda snapped out of his thoughts. “Usually, January would be the coldest month, but on its first day I guess it’s kind of a blessing.”

Komaeda blinked. “It’s January 1 today?”

Tsumiki smiled at him quizzically. “Yes.”  

That date was alarmingly familiar, but Komaeda couldn’t pinpoint why. He racked his brain for a reason for “January 1” to be important.

“Are you celebrating the new year with your family, Komaeda-kun?”

“No,” Komaeda answered, almost instantly. Celebrate…

“With someone else, perhaps?” Tsumiki inquired further, an almost dreamy smile on her face. “A special person, or maybe a friend?”

As Komaeda scoffed at the last word, he felt as if a bulb lit up his head. He was going to celebrate something today! It was January 1. That was –

The startling sound of the infirmary door opening interrupted their conversation. The two turned to see no other than the ‘special someone’ in Komaeda’s life - Hinata Hajime - who looked sickly worried when he barged into the room. His eyes scanned the area and lit up at the sight of one bedridden Komaeda Nagito, whose heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he saw Hinata again since two days.  

“Komaeda!” Hinata exclaimed, rushing towards him to crush him in a hug. Komaeda burned in embarrassment, but didn’t protest as much as he usually did with Hinata’s affections. From the back of his mind, Komaeda felt himself relaxing to the feeling of Hinata’s arms around his body. Komaeda hated to admit it, but he… he missed Hinata. “I was so worried about you! You didn’t reply to my texts - what happened to you? You should’ve told me that you were sick,” Hinata frowned.

“Hinata-kun, wait,” Komaeda nervously rasped in Hinata’s ear. The nurse was still there, standing quietly between the two as if she was nonexistent. He intuitively reached for Hinata’s warm hand and looked at him in the eye. “I’ll… talk to you later. When we’re alone.”

Hinata blinked, looking the faintest bit disappointed at the statement. Then he remembered their agreement a few days ago, to keep low around other people. “Oh, okay,” he said, putting on a smile. “I actually have to talk to you later too. I want you to come with me to go somewhere.”

Komaeda furrowed his brows. “Where?”

“You’ll see,” Hinata winked.

Komaeda clicked his tongue in slight annoyance, glaring at Hinata directly in the eye. “Are you just going to show me another sunset on the school?”

Hinata chuckled, unaffected by Komaeda’s glare. “No, no. Actually, it’s a person. You’ll see.”

Komaeda was about to say something else, but Hinata suddenly acknowledged the nurse’s presence and asked her something. “Did he take his medicine yet?” Hinata told Tsumiki.

Tsumiki shook her head. “He’s been out since morning. Now that you’ve mentioned it, Komaeda-kun needs to take his medicine anytime now, as it’s almost noon.”

“Could you please fetch it?” Hinata asked with a smile.

With a nod, Tsumiki turned her back towards them, heading for the infirmary’s storage room of sorts. Since the nurse wasn’t looking anymore, Hinata took the opportunity to peck his boyfriend on the lips. Komaeda yelped, pushing Hinata away. He glanced at Tsumiki’s direction to check if she saw. She was nowhere to be seen.

“I-idiot!” Komaeda shouted softly, almost in a whisper. His face was rivaling the color of a tomato. “What was that for?”

“That’s my goodbye kiss because I have to go now,” Hinata said, glancing at the infirmary’s clock. “I’ll meet up with you later here, alright? I don’t want to go without you.”

Komaeda scoffed. “Who is this we’re meeting, anyway? You won’t even tell me. I don’t see why I should go with you. What an inconvenience.”  

Hinata pouted. “Whatever,” he said, beaming in that stupid grin Komaeda found so blindingly irritating yet warm. “I hear you complaining, but not you refusing to come with me. So, that means you’re still going.” As Hinata headed for the door, Komaeda suddenly realized something.

“Hinata-kun?”

“Mhm?” The taller boy looked behind him, brows raised.

“You forgot my paperwork,” Komaeda chided, in a slightly teasing tone.

“I can give it to you another day,” Hinata winked.

-

Once classes finished, Hinata went straight to the infirmary again to pick up Komaeda. Hinata was frankly nervous for this headmaster meeting; on his way there he tried to recall every little sneaky thing he’d done that would earn him a trip to the headmaster’s office. But once he arrived at the infirmary, “doing other people’s homework” was the worst thing that Hinata could think of. But even then, it was questionable how _exactly_ did Hope’s Peak find out about that. Hinata was not so naïve that he would write down the answers on someone else’s worksheet. He would send a copy of his answers, then it was whoever’s job to jot them down with their own handwriting. With essays, Hinata mostly did outlines, so he could technically claim that he never wrote a single sentence under someone else’s name.

Then Hinata suddenly realized something. Why _him_? Surely there were other students who were getting away with even worse crimes! Heck, Souda even sleeps in the janitor’s closet during some PE sessions! And now Hinata’s going to get the divine punishment for helping people out (in a bad way)?

“Hinata-kun?”

The aforementioned boy blinked and realized he was standing in front of the infirmary doors. Like an idiot. He looked up to see the nurse’s face, the same girl from a while ago.

“You’ve been standing there for about five minutes or so… is something the matter?” Tsumiki asked him.

“Oh. Yeah, I came here to pick up Komaeda, sorry,” Hinata chuckled nervously. “He’s fine now, right?”

Tsumiki pursed her lips. “He definitely needs more rest when he gets home, but he’s a little better now. Since this morning, his fever has decreased from 39.2 degrees Celsius to 38.7. Komaeda-kun really needs to take care of himself.”

“He has a disease,” Hinata said, conversational. “He doesn’t know what it is exactly, but it weakens his immune system.”

Tsumiki frowned. “That’s a bit vague... there’s several diseases that cause immunodeficiency, like AIDS and hepatitis, but…” She paused for a moment. Lowering her voice down, Tsumiki looked at Hinata directly in the eye, “…you haven’t been doing anything… inappropriate with Komaeda-kun yet, have you?”

Hinata instantly burst into a deep scarlet rivaling that of a serious wound. “ _N-no_! No, I mean…. Even then, I’ve been tested—”

“Since when?”

Hinata gulped. “Last year. But seriously, uh, w-we haven’t… gone _home run_. And besides, Komaeda’s had that disease before he met me. S-so…”

Tsumiki giggled. “I’m just kidding, Hinata-kun. I would know. If Komaeda-kun is willing, I can give him a free checkup to assess his so-called disease.”

Hinata let out a sigh.  “I think he needs that, even if he doesn’t want to.”

Tsumiki nodded. “I won’t keep you from him for too long,” she said, walking towards the little space apparently meant as a nurse’s office. “I just need to report his condition, then he can go.”

-

Kirigiri Kyouko followed her orders with some reluctance. Although she told Hinata Hajime that she had a special duty to the school, what she was doing at the moment wasn’t really part of that duty that she mentioned. Her duty wasn’t actually to the school; but rather, its headmaster. No, her duty was to her father. She had to look after him and his decisions when it came to Hope’s Peak Academy.

She sighed as she reached the doors to her father’s office. He stood by the windows with his back turned onto her. The winter breeze made the black curtains of his office hover, as if it were under an enchanting spell.

“Is he coming?” Kirigiri’s father asked, after he finally noticed she was there.

“He’s on his way,” Kirigiri answered. “Hinata Hajime… brought that boy with him.”

The man turned to her, surprised. “Is that true?”

Kirigiri nodded. For a moment she was silent, clearly hesitant as she finally mustered to ask the headmaster a question. “Father,” she said, testing the word on her tongue.

“Yes, Kyouko?”

“Why Hinata Hajime?” she asked. “Why not Komaeda Nagito himself?”

The man raised a finger to his lips, imploring his daughter to avoid saying the name out loud. He walked closer to her until they were merely a feet apart. “I have tried. But nothing wouldn’t work out - even my best efforts seemed to push him farther away. Even his… associate couldn’t convince him.”

“What do you intend to do with him, father?” Kirigiri looked into her father’s eyes, searching for a hint of sentiment behind those cool grey hues.

“Exactly what I have always intended to do with my students,” Kirigiri’s father said, a faint smile appearing on his face. “I intend to study them.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a deleted scene involving Komaeda meeting up with Hinata in private to celebrate his birthday together. I was wondering if I should include it in the next chapter instead, or simply post it as a "bonus" scene from this chapter. Tell me what you think. Also, what's your opinion on the 3 new characters? ;)


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